What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it!


I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

A doctor is eating a late lunch at his favorite Chinese restaurant when he hears the dreaded words:

"Is there a doctor in the building?!"

He strides to the back where he sees the manager and a patron who looks pale and shaky.

"We've just had two people come down with some kind of sickness," the manager says, "the lady here, and another gentleman in the bathroom."

"How do you ...

What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill?

Egg rolls.

How do you make an egg roll?

You push it!

A Chinese restaurant owner arrives home very drunk.

He crawls into bed next to his wife and shakes her awake, whispering, " Hey honey, how about a little 69?"

She jumps out of bed, livid, and yells at him, "You come home at 3am, stinking of whiskey, wake me up, and have the nerve to ask me for some pork fried rice, chicken chow mein, and an eg...

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Three college girls went to a sushi restaurant

After having a few drinks, the first girl said "I just ate 3 dozens of fish" after eating a fish egg sushi.

The girl beside her heard it and responded "That would mean I ate three to four chickens" while staring at her remaining Tamagoyaki (Japanese egg roll).

The third girl burped an...

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Chicken and an egg

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is laid back with his wings behind his head, smoking a cigarette and staring at the ceiling with a shit eating grin on his face. The egg is laying on its side facing away from the chicken.
The egg rolls over and looks at him with a disguste...

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An egg and a chicken just finished having sex...

The egg rolls over, lights a cigarette, and says "well, I guess that settles that."

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The Golden Tong

A young couple decided to try the new Chinese restaurant in town called "The Golden Tong". After being seated the waiter comes by with a tray of cups, he takes a pair of golden tongs and picks up each cup and places it front of them. Then he uses the tongs to pick up the tea pot and our them each a ...

Three construction workers are working on top of a building

One is Chinese, one is Polish, and the other is black. On their lunch break, they open up their lunches to see what their wives packed them. The Chinese guy says, "What!? Egg rolls again!? I hate egg rolls! If I get egg rolls for lunch one more time, I'm going to jump off of this building". The blac...

Soup for the Mind in riddle form

1. a rooster lays an egg at the very top of a pointed roof. which way does the egg roll??

2. A plane crashes directly in the middle of the border between Canada and U.S.A. where where the survivors buried?

3. Two babys were born from the same mother, on the same day, of the same year, ...

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A few I picked up...

JOKES!

A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "five drinks please"

What begins with a " C" ends with a "T" has a "U and a "N" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle.

Coconut

What do dentists call their X-rays?

Toothpicks

Dir...

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