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Chow Mein Jokes

Last year there was a mix up at my local Chinese restaurant. The chef used Daffodil bulbs instead of onions in the chow mein and four people were hospitalised over the Christmas period.

Luckily they came out beautifully in the spring.

A Chinese restaurant owner arrives home very drunk.

He crawls into bed next to his wife and shakes her awake, whispering, " Hey honey, how about a little 69?"

She jumps out of bed, livid, and yells at him, "You come home at 3am, stinking of whiskey, wake me up, and have the nerve to ask me for some pork fried rice, chicken chow mein, and an eg...

I went to the Chinese for a take away last night, I ordered chicken chow mein, egg fried rice and Singapore crispy noodles. The bloke tipped it all loose in to a carrier bag. I said what the hell are you doing?

He said we're not allowed to put Chinese in a container anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went for a Chinese last night and got chatting to the waiter.

He told me he lived in Japan during the war and was a Kamikaze pilot and his Code Name was 'Chow Mein'. I said "correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kamikaze pilots sacrifice their own lives?"

To which he replied, "Yes but I was Chicken Chow Mein."....

A joke for our new Chinese overlords: I once asked my Chinese girlfriend for a 69.

She said I'm not cooking Chicken Chow Mein at this time of night.

I'm having a hard time getting my German Chinese fusion restaurant going.

It's called Chow Mein Kampf.

What is Lighting McQueen’s favourite Chinese meal?

KaChow Mein

A dude goes out on a date with his new Chinese girlfriend...

It goes so well that she invites him back to her place. "I had a wonderful time," she purrs at him. "I'm pretty much up for anything you want after a night like that."

The young guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, to be honest, I've always wanted to try a 69."

"Forget that!" she s...

Lunch

First time posting. Sorry for the bad grammar and punctuation.

There were three construction workers an English and Indian and a Chinese. Everyday at 12 o'clock they'd sit down and eat their lunch. They'd been working at this construction site for a month and everyday they would have the same...

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