Why didn't Winnie the Pooh wear pants?

So he can pooh bear.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man yelled on the GreatWall of China, "Xi the pooh has a tiny penis"

He was caught by the police in a minute.

He was then notified that all of his family members are held up by the police. In the same evening, he was brought to the court.

The judge: You committed a very serious crime, you need not talk, you are now sentenced to death, so are you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the time Winnie The Pooh had sex?

He looked for something sweet and got stuck inside of a different hole!

Besides eating honey... what do John the Baptist, Smokey the Bear, and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They share the same middle name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife loves Winnie the Pooh

Told her this while making dinner.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Eeyore.

Eeyore who?

Ima Eeyore ass tonight.

Why did Winnie the Pooh call the police?

Because he saw Christopher Robbin'.

Winnie the Pooh and Piglet were having fun at Pooh's house

Piglet accidentally knocked over one of the jars fro. Pooh's stash of honey and it went all over the floor.

Pooh had honey roasted ham for dinner that night.

Winnie The Pooh

Winnie the Pooh doesn’t want to marry, but thoughts about Honeymoon makes him mad.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name.



*I know you're rolling your eyes, but c'mon—that was at least a little bit funny, right? Right?!?*

Winnie-the-Pooh is on a Picnic with Christopher Robin, Piglet and Eeyore. Christopher Robin says “Pooh, you haven’t touched any food yet. What gives?”

Pooh: “I’m stuffed”

Why does Piglet always smell bad?

Because he plays with Pooh.

People in China are all preparing to celebrate the 100th anniversary - and so should we!

Winnie the Pooh's birthday is August 21, 1921 which is only about a month off :)

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I’ve often wondered when A.A. Milne was naming Winnie the Pooh, where he got the name Pooh from..

Then I thought, maybe he just pulled it out of his ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are looking to spice up their sex life

The husband comes home one day with a shopping bag from a costume shop. "I've got a surprise for you. I thought we could try a little role-playing tonight. I'll call you into the bedroom after I've changed."

The wife becomes excited as she waits to be summoned to an erotic night of love-makin...

What do you call Winnie-the-Pooh's grandmother ?

((Pooh Nanny))

My wife can't stand to be around me ever since I retired from voicing Winnie-the-Pooh

She says I am becoming unbearable.

When Winnie the Pooh eats honey straight from the jar with his paw, it's cute...

But when I hang around a donkey while wearing nothing but a red t-shirt, someone calls the cops.

Why did Winnie the Pooh cross the road?

Becaus- Censored in China

The Interview

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of rsums he found four people who were equally qualified. An American, an Indian, a European and a Nigerian.He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers w...

What do you call Winnie the Pooh's Grandmother?

Poonanny

Why did Piglet open the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh

What does Xi Jinping and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They both will do anything for ~~m~~honey.

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands.




Thank the Chive for that one.

The more, the better...

... said Winnie the Pooh and then died from an overdose.

President Xi doesnt take a dump..

He has a Pooh!

A constipated man robs a toy store. He steals everything but one teddy bear

Because he is unable to take a pooh

My long-distance Chinese girlfriend ghosted me.

The last thing I said to her was that I was going to watch Winnie The Pooh with my 4 year old niece...

Want to know another creepy coincidence?

Jack the Ripper, Vlad the Impaler, and Winnie the Pooh all share the same middle name. Stay safe, my friends!

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

honey

Husband embraced wife from behind, said : "I love you, honey."

The wife gigled and said : "What are you, Winnie the Pooh?"

The husband shocked and stood back, his eye is full of hurt and been betrayed

The wife noticed immediately and apologized : "I'm sorry, General secretary......

A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting...

The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."

The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."

To which the Mormon replied, "You fellas ain't g...

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Newlywed husband wants to go to bar

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

... ...

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everybody Poops

Show me a man that doesn't pooh, and I'll show you a man that is full of shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a new exhibit at disneyworld that features statues of some disney favorite characters.

A tour guide is leading guests through the exhibit as they pass such favorites as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, as well as Pluto. As they're going through they pass a statue that's in the shape of a giant turd. Puzzled, one of the guests pipes up and asks the tour guide, "what's the d...

What's little, brown, and found in the woods?

Winnies' pooh.

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a pooh

How do you get a big international company to kiss your ass?

By dressing up as Winnie the Pooh!

Honeypots

-Hey, what’s going on, Pooh?

-Hello, Piglet. Christopher left us 10 honeypots. That makes 8 for each.

-No, Pooh, that makes 5 for each of us.

-Dunno about that, already ate mine.

Interesting Title Here

Pun time!!

Q: What do you call dental x-rays? A: Tooth pics.

Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pasta away.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.

Q: What do yo...

What do you call the bear with coprophagia?

Wi nniethe pooh

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