UPJOKE
poohwinnanniehannahwilliepeggyrodneynikkifitzdonnyanitaernieralphbeckymegan

Winnie Jokes

What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

What do you call Winnie the Pooh’s grandmother?

Poohnanny

what do you call Winnie The Pooh's grandma?

pooh-nanny

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of kindergarteners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

“You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

“I went to visit my Nana.”

“No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people word...

What does Winnie the Pooh put on his hot dogs?

Honey mustard

Why is Winnie the Pooh the worst hacker?

He constantly falls for honeypots

One day Winnie asks Eeyore "We have such a nice life. Why are you always so depressed?"

Eeyore: "Cause I have a nail in my @$$."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the time Winnie The Pooh had sex?

He looked for something sweet and got stuck inside of a different hole!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks the children in her class what they done at the weekend...

"I went out for the day, and rode on the choo choo", said Billy.

"Billy", said the teacher, "we don't use childish and immature language in my class. You rode on a train... Steve?"

"My dad and I went go-karting but I crashed and got a boo boo", said Steve.

"Steve, I just said we...

Why did Winnie the Pooh cross the road?

Becaus- Censored in China

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name.



*I know you're rolling your eyes, but c'mon—that was at least a little bit funny, right? Right?!?*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The first day of first grade

The teacher asked the children what they had done over the summer.
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I went for a ride on the choo-choo."
"That's very nice," the teacher said, "but now that we are in first grade, we don't say choo-choo, we say train."
The next child raised her hand ...

What does Xi Jinping and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They both will do anything for ~~m~~honey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife loves Winnie the Pooh

Told her this while making dinner.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Eeyore.

Eeyore who?

Ima Eeyore ass tonight.

When Winnie the Pooh eats honey straight from the jar with his paw, it's cute...

But when I hang around a donkey while wearing nothing but a red t-shirt, someone calls the cops.

What do you call Winnie-the-Pooh's grandmother ?

((Pooh Nanny))

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands.




Thank the Chive for that one.

Winnie-the-Pooh is on a Picnic with Christopher Robin, Piglet and Eeyore. Christopher Robin says “Pooh, you haven’t touched any food yet. What gives?”

Pooh: “I’m stuffed”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grown-up words.

A primary one teacher was speaking to her class on the first day of term.

>"Alright class, I'd like everyone to tell me what they did over the summer holiday. Remember, you're not at nursery any more, so you need to use grown-up words now. Jamie, you go first."

So Jamie excitedly s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year.

To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride."
The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride."
The third ...

A collection of humorous anecdotes from the world of education

>TEACHER: Maria, please can you find North America on the map.
>
>MARIA: Here it is.
>
>TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
>
>CLASS: Maria.



>TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve often wondered when A.A. Milne was naming Winnie the Pooh, where he got the name Pooh from..

Then I thought, maybe he just pulled it out of his ass.

My wife can't stand to be around me ever since I retired from voicing Winnie-the-Pooh

She says I am becoming unbearable.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adult Names

A man is driving his five-year-old son to school for his first day.

Suddenly the boy shouts out "Daddy! Daddy! Look at those moo cows in that field."

His father says "Hang on, you're a big boy now, you must use adult names. It's a cow, not a moo cow."

The boy i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a teacher decided she wanted to have her first graders use "grown-up" words.

Teacher: "Ok class, what did you do this weekend?"

Lisa: "I saw a choo-choo!"

Teacher: "No Lisa, you saw a train. Remember, we're using grown-up words! What about you, Johnny?

Johnny: "I read a book!"

Teacher: "Really? What book did you read?"

Johnny: "Winnie the s...

China has become Russia’s ally in Ukraine.

Their alliance will be referred to as “Winnie the Putin”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Father is driving home with his child in the back seat

The boy looks out the window and, seeing a field full of cows, excitedly says to his father;

“Dad! Look! Moo moos!”

His father looks angrily in the rear view mirror and says

“They’re not called moo moos! They’re cows! Say it properly!”

The boy replies quietly “cows, dad.”...

Breaking News: The Chinese President and the Russian President have had their first lovechild…

Named Winnie the Pootin.

Fact: Xi Jinping once slept in a house in Iowa

After many many year later...

The husband was watching the news and saw an article about Xi Jinping.

He was very very shocked and said to his wife: 'Hey, do you remember that Chinese guy who used to be at our house?'

The wife said: 'Of course I remember, why are you asking?'
...

What was Trump’s favorite childhood story?

Winnie the Coup.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's the first day of 3rd grade...

Their teacher wanted them to behave more grown up since they were no longer in second grade.

As such, the teacher told them to use grownup words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.

Susie went first and said she went to see her Nana....

The more, the better...

... said Winnie the Pooh and then died from an overdose.

My long-distance Chinese girlfriend ghosted me.

The last thing I said to her was that I was going to watch Winnie The Pooh with my 4 year old niece...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher says to her first grade class

"Alright kids, from now on, we must use grown up words. Now Tommy, what did you do this weekend?"

"I rode on a Choo-Choo", said Tommy

"No Tommy, you rode on a train, please use more grown-up words. Now Jacky, what did you do this weekend?"
"I played with my woof woof", said Jacky...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories.

First Pupil: "I visited my Nana." Teacher: "Please use adult words, you visited your Grandmother."

Second Pupil: I had a ride on a choo-choo." Teacher: "Please, you had a ride on a train."

Third Pupil: I read a whole book by myself for the first time." Teacher: "Excellent. And what was...

How do you get a big international company to kiss your ass?

By dressing up as Winnie the Pooh!

honey

Husband embraced wife from behind, said : "I love you, honey."

The wife gigled and said : "What are you, Winnie the Pooh?"

The husband shocked and stood back, his eye is full of hurt and been betrayed

The wife noticed immediately and apologized : "I'm sorry, General secretary......

What’s brown and sits in the Forrest?

Winnie’s pooh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A class of children return to school after Christmas.

The teacher asks each child in turn to tell her what gifts they received. Little Paul replies "I got a choo-choo" "Now Paul," replies the teacher, " you're in the big school now, we call it a train not a choo-choo"

She turns to Tommy. "what did you get?" "A nee-naw", replies Tommy. "Now Tommy...

What’s black and slides down Nelson’s column?

Winnie Mandela.

What's little, brown, and found in the woods?

Winnies' pooh.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During class

A teacher asks her young students what their favourite toys are.

"Mine's a choo-choo train!" shouts one student.

"Very good, but let's please use big people words." says the teacher.

"Mine's a dolly!" shouts a little girl.

"You mean a doll. Grown up words, please."
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny talks like an adult

This is my sister's favorite joke

\--

One day in Kindergarten...

Mrs Smith: Ok class, today we're going to try and talk like adults. OK? Let's try it. Kevin, what did you have for dinner last night?

Kevin: We ate cheesy macaroony!

Mrs Smith: OK, but let's talk...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grown-Up Words

It was Monday morning in Ms. Green's kindergarten class, and the children were taking turns telling the class how they spent their weekend.

Adam raised his hand and said, "I went on a choo-choo!"

Ms. Green replied, "Very nice Adam, but let's try to use grown-up words. You went on a *t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m not a little boy any more

On a boys birthday he says to his mother I’m not a little boy anymore, the mother nods and understands.

Well, the mother says for dinner I guess you don’t want chicken nuggets anymore.

No, no, no, says the boy but instead I can have a grown up knife and fork.

Well, the mother s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher and her class of kindergarteners learn about grown-up words

A teacher is teaching her class of kindergarteners how to use grown-up expressions.

She points to little Sally and asks, "Sally, what did you do this weekend."

Sally tilted her head and said, "I went on a choo choo!"

"Marvelous, dear," said the teacher, "But next time, try 'I ro...

Interesting Title Here

Pun time!!

Q: What do you call dental x-rays? A: Tooth pics.

Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pasta away.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.

Q: What do yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Christmas gifts...

It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one thing they got for Christmas.

So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone onething she got. "My daddy got me a B...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.