A cowboy emigrated to Wales

and opened a ranch at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch



Unfortunately, none of his cattle survived the branding.

What do you call a couple from Wales?

Siblings

Dude, that scary clown followed us to Wales.

Welsh It.

A man new to Britain came upon two somewhat large ladies chatting. Fascinated by their accents he asked them "Are you ladies from England?" They replied "Wales." The man then said . . .

I'm sorry. Are you Whales from England?"

How do England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland greet eachother?

UK ?

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Wales?

A Entertainment Center.

Surfer saves shark by punching wife in New South Wales.

Beg your pardon. Let me read that again...

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.

The conductor almost panicked says, “there’s too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we’re going to crash!” The Welshman bravely steps up, “For the glory of wales!” And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, “okay, we’re close but there is still too much weight!” ...

A guy walk up to a bar with two women and says "you ladies from Scotland? They give him a dirty look and say "Wales"

"Oh I'm sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

I went into a brothel in Wales.

They charged me twenty quid entry fee and said I could choose one of the girls to spend some time with. But it turned out they had no women at all!

I got fleeced.

Jimmy Wales walks into a bar.

\[citation needed\]

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Misinterpretation

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar.  They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland ?"


One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES , you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediate...

Two English tourists were driving through Wales.At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch they stopped for lunch they asked the waitress: “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument.Can you pronounce where we are,very,very,slowly?"

The girl leaned over and said:

“Burrr… gurrr… King.”

In 1964, a couple of former St. Louis Cardinals baseball stars were on vacation in Wales....

Red Schoendienst and Stan Musial decided to head to the UK on vacation with their wives after the 1964 Major League Baseball season. The two had retired as players the year before and had just finished their first full season as members of the staff - Musial as vice president, Schoendienst as a coa...

Two plus sized woman walk into a bar

At the bar sits a drunken Irish man. As the two women approach, the Irish man sees them and exclaims: "Ah, two fine lassies from Ireland!"
Defiantly, one responds "It's Wales!"
The man corrects himself, "Ah, two fine whales from Ireland!"

The other day I downloaded the maps of Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland for an assignment...

was shocked to see that the total file size was 1GB.

The other night I overheard three very hefty women talking

Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked: "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"

One of them angrily screeched: "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"

So I apologized and replied: "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"

And that's...

A drunk Irishman sees two women at the bar.

Irishman: You two ladies from England?

Girl: No, Wales.

Irishman: You two whales from England?

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman were riding in a hot-air balloon.

The balloon was about to crash into a mountain, so the pilot says to them, "We need to lose more weight to get clear. One of you has to jump" So the Scotsman says "I do this for the glory of Scotland!" and he jumps out of the basket.

But the balloon wasn't high enough yet. "We need to lose m...

Me: So, you two girls are from England?

Them: Wales, you idiot
Me: I'm sorry, are you two whales from England?

A nurse at the hospital asked me if I remembered what happened to me the night before

I told her I was in a bar when two large ladies came in speaking a strange accent.

Making casual conversation I said “Cool accent! Are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me “It’s Wales, dumbo”

So I corrected myself “Oh right, so are you two whales from Ireland...

Welsh joke *long*

This was told to me 35 years ago by Boyd Clack (google him for his works)

Small welsh village and the local vicar has been told that his sermon this week needs to be about the doctrine of the Church of Wales as there had been lots of rumours about the village of ghost sightings.

"and m...

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What is the best selling sex toy in all of Wales?

A pair of velcro gloves.

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The Drover at the Pearly Gates

A drover from a huge cattle station in the outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates asking to be let in.


"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.


"Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered.


"On a trip to the bac...

A Canadian walks into a bar

A Canadian walks into a bar and sees two large ladies. He asks, "are you two ladies from Scotland?"
The ladies, furious, reply, "Wales! Wales!"
The man turns back, "I apologise. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

An American couple are on holiday traveling through Wales

On their way they see a sign for a place called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and decide to head there for something to eat. As they make their way there they debate the pronunciation of the town’s name.

They stop for lunch and one tourist asks the cashier, “Befor...

Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales; Lloysthwycyyrigridarbrewwthh.....

Sorry, there was a hair in my mouth - I went to Swansea.

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An art student is visiting the National Gallery in Wales.

About halfway around, they spot a large painting of three black men sitting on a bench, all three buck naked. Even more strangely, the one in the middle has an entirely pink penis.

A curator sees the art student observing the painting and approaches.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” He says. ...

Where in Wales is the best place to get all in one Pyjamas?

Swansea

A man walks into a bar

And sees 2 women sitting at a table so he asks "are you 2 women from Scotland?" They then say in response "no! Wales of course" he thinks a bit and says finally " sorry are you 2 whales from Scotland?"

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Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.

That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me..!"

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigor, but it would not budge.

"Harde...

A trip to Wales.

A couple are driving through Wales late one night and they pass through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwilllantysiliogogogoch. With nothing much else to do , they start arguing over the pronunciation. Eventually they decide to stop somewhere and ask a local. They pull up somewhere and go inside...

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What's the most popular porn site in Wales?

ewetube

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An eskimo visits Wales...

An eskimo visits Wales, and as he's driving along the motorway, his car breaks down.

The mechanic turns up and looks under the bonnet.

"You've blown a seal." He says.

The eskimo replies "So what? You bugger sheep."

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Two men are sat waiting for a bus in Wales.

The older one turns to the younger one and says "Do you see those old mines down there in the valley? Twenty years I spent down there, man and boy, quarrying the coal out of the rock. Without me none of the houses up there would have had coal for the winter. And do they call me Dewey the Coal Miner?...

boris johnson,scotsman,welshman,irishman updated

the 4 above are on a plane,malfunction and the plane starts to go down

theres only 1 parachute

scotsman (sacrificing himself)bravely shouts "For Scotland!"and jumps out

welshman (also sacrificing himself)shouts "For Wales!"and jumps out!

irishman shouts "For Ireland" and ...

A man was sitting in a bar...

A man was sitting in a bar quietly drinking his beer when he overheard two women a couple of tables over talking amongst themselves. Listening to their conversation he could tell by their accents that they were not from around the area. He popped over to their table to enquire about their travels....

What is the most popular bank in Wales?

Welsh Fargo...

...gramps made me do it.

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NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:

**NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:**

Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a full Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider wheth...

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach

He had no arms and no legs. Three women, from England , Wales , and Scotland , were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said, 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?' The man ...

An Irishman orders three pints of Guinness

An Irishman walks into a local pub and orders three pints of Guinness. He drinks them all, settles his tab, and goes on his way.

The next day, the same man walks into the same pub around the same time and again orders three pints of Guinness. He drinks them down, settles up, and goes on his w...

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How do they promote safe sex in Wales?

They put signs next to the sheep that kick

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When I was stationed in Wales, I was stuck on a farm miles away from nowhere.

Stationed with me were six other guys, and not a single female. After two weeks of masturbating, I finally asked them, "What is it you guys do to get off around here?"

They responded, "Well, if you really wanna know... we fuck the sheep."

"No way," I said.

They insisted, "Yeah, ...

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Three women in a bar

So, there were three women sitting in a bar and were have a grand old chat.

A man was sitting not too far away and was quite intrigued by their accent and couldn't quite place it.

He walks up to them and says "Excuse me ladies, are you women from England".

One of the ladies seem...

A man is drunk in a bar,

Across the bar he sees three heavy set women, speaking with Scottish sounding accents. He makes his way to the women and asks; "Excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland?" The first women gets mad and yells "It's Wales, you ass! Wales!" The man the replies. "I'm sorry, are you three whales from Scotla...

A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...

and says to them: "Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?" Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!" "Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely \*whales\* from?"

Three heftier women enter a bar and order their drinks. The bartender says, "Y'all have some interesting accents. You broads from Scotland?"

They glare at him and one says, "Wales."

He says, "Ok... You whales from Scotland?"

A North American arrives in the UK on vacation and needs directions.

Two plus size women with accents are walking by. The Foreigner says “excuse me. Do you two gals happen to be from England”. One of the women replies “ No idiot. Wales!!!!”

The Foreigner is taken aback. “ I’m sorry, let me start over” he says. “ Excuse me. Do you two whales ha...

For Star Trek fans: What did Scotty tell Kirk when The Enterprise flew over western England?

"Thar be Wales here!"

It’s easier to take Wales out of the EU...

...than it is to take a Welshman out of the ewe.

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So this guy went to Wales to work on a sheep farm.

A couple of days later, he got really lonely. So, he'd heard the legends, and figured "When in Rome...."

So he got himself a sheep. And shagged it.

While leading the sheep back to its pen, he saw a bunch of the other guys looking at him, pointing fingers and laughing.

Shoot! May...

Why dont you ever see penguins in Great Britain?

Because theyre scared of Wales

Welsh pub

One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer.

All the other men in the bar looked at him and the bartender asked, "You're not from around here, are you lad?"

"No," replied the man, "I'm from London."

"So, boyo," said the bartender, "What do you do for a ...

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Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.


The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

An Englishman walks into a bar...

He sees three fat ladies ordering drinks at the counter and hears a thick accent.

"Excuse me, are you three ladies from Scotland?"

They all scream back in unison, "WALES, YOU IDIOT!!"

"Oh, sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"

A Man walks up to a pair of ladies in Downtown London

Man: “Good Afternoon are you ladies from England?”

One of the Ladies “Wales”

Man: “My apologies...Are you Whales from England”

So, there I was, at this pub in Great Britain,....

I notice these two women, both cute but a bit chubby. I approached the girls and asked "Are you two ladies from Scotland"?, to which the heftier one replied "It's Wales you idiot"! Taken a bit aback by this, I replied "Oh, sorry. Are you two Whales from Scotland"?

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Sheep Shagging

An old Oxford professor is nearing retirement and decides that he wants to do something fun for once. He's spent his whole life researching scientific theories in his lab and wants to do something outside for a change, so he asks his assistant for a suggestion of something different to go and resear...

Fat Girls

Last night I was having some wings and beer with a coworker after work. There were these two pretty, but kinda fat girls drinking at the bar and being loud. They had what I could have sworn was a Scottish accent.

I'm a big fan of girls from the UK, so I struck up a conversation. I asked them,...

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Any person who illegally exports sheep is called an Owler.

Unless they're from Wales. Then they're just called a sex trafficker.

A man was at the bar one night...

He had a few too many when he saw three obese girls come up to the bartender and order some drinks. The man noticed they had strong accents, which grabbed his attention.

The women were there for a while and were quite loud and a bit rude. Feeling rather buzzed, the man looked over to the girl...

Interesting accents!

3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"

One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"

The bartender ...

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A string of jokes I heard a while ago

How do you get four elephants in a mini cooper?

Two in the front, two in the back.


How do you get four giraffes in a mini cooper?

You can't because of all the elephants.


How do you get two whales in a mini cooper?

Same way you get to Wales in any other car,...

A cabby picked up 3 rather large women and was taking them downtown. As they were talking he thought he detected a Scottish accent. he asked "Are you three ladies from Scotland?"

They looked at each other silently, then one of the sneered at him and said "It's Wales, you idiot."
"Oh, excuse me. Are you three whales from Scotland?"

Vacation in Britain gone wrong

An american man was vacationing around Britain, visiting all the larger cities.

One night he found himself in a bar in Cardiff, having a few drinks and planning out how to spend the next couple of days of his vacation. But he had forgotten his guidebook. So he looked around to see if anyone ...

Three large girls walk into a bar...

They sit down at the bar and try to order a drink. The bartender clearly doesn't understand their heavy accents so a man comes over to try and help. The man says, "excuse me, but are you ladies from Scotland?"

They say, "No! Wales, Wales!"

"Oh my apologies! Are you whales from Scotlan...

An American visiting the U.K .......

has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn’t help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland?
They sneer at him and the one says i...

So a tourist walks into an English pub...

A tourist walks into an English pub. While he is waiting for his beer, he notices to rather big women next to him talk in a strange accent. He walks up to them and says:

"Excuse me, I can't quite put my finger on your accent -- are you two ladies from Ireland?"

They get outraged and sn...

Three "plus size" women walk into an Irish bar, and order 3 Bwrz Fynt's

The bartender says, "I can't understand what you said."

One of the girls says, "I'm sorry, we're from Wales."

The bartender replies, "That explains everything."

Why do penguins never go to England?

Because they're afraid of Wales!

In USA being -on the lamb- means:

:Running away from the Police, because they committed a crime.
In Wales it means...well, something else.

An American man walks into a bar...

An American man walks into a bar and grabs a seat. While ordering a pint, he can't help but overhear an obnoxiously loud but indiscernible conversation from three massively large ladies down the bar.

The man calls out to them,, "Hey babes, are you from Scotland?"

Quite rudely, one lad...

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Chum the sheep

There was this young man who had had enough of city life so he moves to the country and decides to run a sheep farm. He educated himself as much as he could on how to run a farm. He bought a farm, and buys a heard of sheep. Everything is going well, the sheep are properly housed and fed. The she...

A guy is sitting at a bar...

and he hears a few women at the far end of the bar. They sound like they are from the UK so he looks over and sees 3 enormous, fat women. he walks over and asks:

"so are you 3 women from Scotland?"

"Wales"

"oh, im sorry. so are you 3 whales from Scotland?"

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Countries I can't believe Japan have not attacked:

Wales

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Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

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