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Stevie Jokes

Stevie Wonder rings Tiger Woods and says

"how do you fancy a round of golf"

Tiger says "I didn't think you would be able to play Stevie"

Stevie explains how he had a caddy put a device in each hole that emits a constant high pitched tone and he can tune an earpiece into, which tells him the direction and distance to it.
...

Why couldn’t Stevie Wonder see his friends?

He was married.

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.

Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.

"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a ...

A reporter is interviewing Stevie Wonder

They talk about all the amazing music he has created over the years and the incredible things he has done with his life and as a last question the reporter asks:

"But don't you wish you hadn't been born blind?"

and Stevie replies "Hey, it could've been much worse - I could have been bo...

Stevie Wonder was doing a concert, and towards the end decided to play some requests.

A man called out, "Play a jazz chord." So Stevie played a short riff, but the man insisted: "No, no, play a jazz chord."

So Stevie played a longer riff: "No, no," said the man, "play a jazz chord."

Stevie tried again and again, until he was playing chords he'd never played in his life,...

Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar.

Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I ...

Did you hear about Stevie Wonder getting a cheese grater for his birthday?

He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

Stevie Wonder wasn’t just a great musician.

He was outa sight!!

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love

BREAKING: Stevie Wonder suffers major laceration in horrible accident

The wound too big for regular stitches, doctors were forced to use very super stitches

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stevie Wonder is playing in Japan for the first time ever...

Sitting at the piano in a concert hall, keen to please his new audience, Stevie shouts "Before I start, does anyone have any requests?"

Some little old Japanese man at the very back of the hall stands up and shouts back "Do a jazz chord!"

So Stevie obliges, playing an Eb Minor diminish...

I just heard Stevie wonder is a Terrible father...

He never sees his kids

Whats Stevie Wonder doing on a boat?

Waiting for a cab.

What happened when Stevie Ray went to a guitar playing contest?

He vaughan

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Have you ever seen a picture of Stevie Wonder's kids?

Neither has he!

Stevie Wonder gets a divorce

Stevie Wonder is getting a divorce.
After the divorce finalization, the lawyer says, "girl, you must've done something really terrible for a blind man to never want to see you again."

What did Stevie Wonder's mother do for punishment??

Re-arrange the furniture

What's Stevie Wonder's favourite colour?

Corduroy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny's teacher held a contest one Friday in school.

"Class, I'm going to give you a famous quotation, and if you can tell me who said it, I'll give you the day off on Monday.

"The first one is, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.' Who said that one?"

Little Johnny's hand shoots up immediately...

I feel bad for Stevie Wonder...

He hasn't seen his kids in years.

Stevie Wonder Walked into a Bar

Then a chair. Then a table.

Did you guys see Stevie Wonders new car?

Neither did he.

Stevie wonder was hit by a car today

Who could have seen it coming?

Stevie Wonder cheated on his wife.

So she rearranged all the furniture at the house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Valentine’s Day Poem, by Stevie Wonder

Roses are black,
Violets are black,
I can’t see shit,
Fuck.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

No? Well, Stevie hasn't either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo

The place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice... "Play a Jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!" Ama...

Stevie Wonder's parenting is called into question

Apparently, he hasnt seen his children in years.

TIL: I am related to Stevie Wonder

I also learnt he has been telling people he has never seen me before.

Which Stevie Wonder song is known for its use of jazz Chords?

I Jazz Chord To Say I Love You..

What was Stevie Wonder and Emperor Palpatine's favorite thing about dreaming.

Visions of the dark side

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive a bus?

There's no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Drake?

Stevie has a legitimate reason why he hasn't seen his children.

Whenever I email Stevie Wonder

I use the BCC field.

Stevie Wonder is so good at piano

I bet he could do it blindfolded

What do John Edward and Stevie Wonder have in common?

They've both made a lot of money from Superstition

Stevie Wonder walked into a bar

He asked the bartender if he could get a Coors light.

Bartender: Sure buddy, I’m a big fan, why don’t you try our new beer that we’ve had imported from Berlin?

Stevie: oh I’m not sure, I have this thing about not drinking German beer

Bartender: SUPERSTITION AINT THE WAYYY!

Can we please stop with all the blind Stevie Wonder jokes?

I just don't see the point.

Stevie Wonder should be on The Voice

He'd probably kill the blind auditions.

If Stevie Wonder ever gets into a car accidents

It will most likely be because he didn't check his blind spot

Why is Stevie wonders calendar like meeting people on tinder?

It’s all blind dates...

A Science Teacher stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." ...

I feel bad for Ray Charles about the whole Stevie Wonder thing...

I mean another blind black piano player? There's no way he saw that coming.

Why is stevie wonder always smiling?

No one's told him he's black.

I saw Stevie Wonder at the airport,

but he didn't see me.

*(True story, courtesy of Dad)*

Two great football fanatics, Andy and Stevie, were discussing the chances of football being played in Heaven.

They couldn't see how any self-respecting Heaven would not have football - but yet, they weren't quite sure. Finally they agreed that the one who died first would come back and tell the other if they played football in Heaven or not.

Not long afterwards, Andy was run over by a bus and killed...

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