UPJOKE

### I just realized my wife left me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.

Oh well, hindsight is 1.

### Thoreau famously said "Simplify, simplify."

It would have been simpler to say it once.

### A man goes on a date

Friend: 'How did your date go?'

Man: 'I talked too much about my obsession with simplifying fractions'

Friend: 'That wasn't a very good idea'

Man: 'Yeah, well hindsight is 1'

I do it 48/14

### (This is not a joke) I'm a linguistic researcher that is working on the semiotic of jokes and need help to find exemples of a particular type of joke.

Hi, I hope this is not against the rules but I need help for a research paper centered around jokes, and this obviously looks like a good place for that.

I am working on linguistic structuralism to try to find the linguistic value of surprise in a joke. (I'm simplifying a lot, but i can expla...

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### A sex-reassignment specialist is trying to simplify the names of surgical procedures...

He takes his nurse aside and explains "Lots of people come in here and get confused and intimidated by the medical jargon we use to explain the operations. From now on I want you to call male-to-female procedures "misterectomies".

The nurse is somewhat perturbed, but the specialist reassures...

### Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without fac...

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### A man with a tendency to over-explain things lays on his therapist's couch.

The therapist says “I have a new exercise for you today. Instead of spending an hour talking about your day, try to tell me the essentials of what happened in one breath.”
The patient agrees and takes a deep breath

“So they cast Callie Hernandez as Supergirl and I’m not sure if it was th...

On 1/5

### (My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists?

Yes, she's a math teacher.

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### It's International Women's Day today. I guess I should make some sort of sexist joke.

I'll have to simplify it for the women.

### My friend was having trouble with a maths question - They couldn’t decide if a number was real or imaginary

I told them not to try and simplify something so complex.

### How does a mathematician want to solve terrorism?

He wants to simplify the radicals.

### I tried to come up with a math joke...

but all my ideas were derivative
and the punchline didn't add up.
Anyway, comedy has no absolute value.
Your jokes are sum of the best,
but minus not very funny
because I'm a perfect square.
I halve one, I guess...
but you're too obtuse to get it,
and trying to simplify it...

### The media reported that two Eastern European countries were to play a part in a trade deal during negotiation.

The press later realized that they had misinterpreted a memo from the negotiating parties regarding their lunch order.

An intern was fired for leaving out many crucial details in the memo, including the side dishes and salads, failing to catch an important spelling error, and simplifying thei...

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### POLITICS! How does that work?

One morning the whole family were having breakfast in the kitchen and little Timmy goes to his dad who was watching the morning news on T.V. And asks: Dad? I don't get all this politics stuff... can you explain it to me?

The dad completely taken by surprise by the question answer the followin...