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Redo Jokes

I hired a monk to redo my bathroom floors, and he put me under an immense amount of pressure.

It was tile by friar.

In the original Star Wars Peter Mayhew once had to redo a scene because he missed his cue.

It was a Wookiee mistake

RIP Peter.

My girlfriend's roommate wouldn't let me redo their bathroom tiles.

What a caulk block.

My buddy needed some help redoing some posts for his fence

so I recommended r/jokes they're reposting kings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little old lady calls a carpet installation company to redo her living room carpeting...

Mitch arrives, takes measurements and begins work. He pulls out the old carpeting, sands the floor down and lays in the new carpet. It takes all day.

When he's finally done he notices a small lump under the carpet in one corner of the floor. "Ah, fuck. What the hell is this now?" he says. He...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are having a few beers and talking about how dumb their wives are.

Guy1: My wife is so dumb she wants to spend $15,000 to redo the kitchen and she can't even cook.

Guy 2: That's nothing. My wife wants me to buy her a new $50,000 car and she can't even drive yet.

Guy 3: My wife is dumber that both of them. She bought 3 boxes of condoms to take on a bus...

How is it called in Australia, when they need to restart the song from the beginning at the club?

A DJ redo.

Landscape Gardeners

I've been trying to get someone to redo my garden, but i'm not having much luck.

I've found several landscape gardeners, but mine is portrait.

My Australian friend failed his aboriginal music exam

So I asked him, "Did you redo it?"

cake story

A guy goes into a bakery and asks for a cake in the shape of a letter B. He comes back to pick it up the next day, and says, “Oh, I’m sorry, I totally forgot to tell you I wanted it to be a lower case B. I’ll pay for this one, but could you redo it as a lower-case?” The baker says, “Hey, that’s okay...

A priest hires a contractor to paint his house.

The contractor thins out his paints using water hoping to stretch out his supply, so the final product ends up quite lacking. When the priest confronts him about it, he apologizes and asks if the priest would like him to redo everything.

The priest tells him, "Repaint, and thin no more."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The other day I saw a big-breasted bikini barista working in a coffee stand

So I pull into the drive through and order a small coffee, just as an excuse to get a closer look at her 36DD boobs. She hands me the coffee & says "That'll be $9!"



Shocked I asked her why it costs so much. She shrugged & responded "All drink prices are based on cup size."...

Software development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discov...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man takes his wife to the doctor for some tests.

The doctor walks into the waiting area and pulls the husband aside.

"Mr. Smith, we have possibly gotten your wife's test results mixed up with the results from another patient, and your wife has either Alzheimer's or AIDS," the doctor said.

The husband replies, "What are going to do ab...

Identity Crises!

A man goes to the doctor's consultation room to get the results of his wife's tests.

The lady on duty tells him: "I'm terribly sorry Mr. but there was a bit of a problem that crept in.

We sent your wife's tests along with another lady with the same surname, to the pathologists. Resul...

A guy hires a contractor to do some work on his house

He doesn’t like the front of his house and decided he wants new columns, new everything. He selects a contractor and starts working on choosing materials. He ultimately decides on a wooden column with a rustic flair, and a slate tile under the front porch.

The contractor does the work well—h...

A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh

A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh, but she didn’t think it looked like Elvis at all. She complained to the artist who reluctantly agreed to try to redo the tattoo in the same spot on the other leg, which the woman agreed to.

After the artist was done, the woman realize...

Wrote this one myself (it's a long one but it's good)

There's a man who's decided to redo his bathroom.
He's going with an all red theme; red sink, red countertop, red toilet. The whole shabang.
He starts first with the red countertop, then he installs the red sinks and toilet, then he finally starts laying the tiles.
The ground tiles are lai...

There was a boy who grew up in San Francisco and he absolutely loved watching the street cars going up and down the streets.

His goal, when he grew up was to eventually drive those things. Before he even graduated high school, he applied to the street car driving school. He got accepted and once he graduated high school he headed off to training. After months of classes and tests, he was off to his first day of work as an...

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