Drifted Jokes

Years later, they bump into each other in the supermarket.

Mrs. Ginsburg says “It’s so great to see you! Tell me, how is Mr. Goldberg?”

Mrs. Goldberg replies “Well you won’t believe what I have to tell you! A few days ago I was making a pot of soup, and it was delicious but I thought ... read more

The steaks could not have been higher.

Eventually….we drifted apart.

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent... read more

but then we drifted apart and split up

Trump was feeling the pressure of the office and stood before the protraits of our greatest leaders.
Looking at Washington, the Donald said:
"George, you were the first. Can you give me some advise?"
A ghostly voice replied
"Tell the truth"
Trump knew that wouldn't work, so next went ... read more

So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. After constantly asking her, she finally agrees to go out with him. One date leads to another and soon they have a steady thing going. He wants ... read more

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house qui... read more

The passengers are obviously scared but the sound and shaking stop quickly. Soon they hear the pilot, "Sorry for the scare folks, it seems one of our engines unexpectedly failed. Just know it's nothing to worry about, the other 3 engine are working just fine and we'll be landing at our destination j... read more

Because of his unfortunate name, poor Odd had the worst life you could imagine.


In school, he was always picked on and had trouble making friends. In college he never fit in and struggled to gain the respect of his peers. In life he drifted from job to job, unable to find steady work. He... read more

Walking along the edge of the road were some teens - their pants sagging, they were vaping had a beer in hand, and could clearly be hear cursing loudly. This enraged the former cop. He drifted toward the side of the road as if to hit them, then pulled back. Angry, he drifted over again. There was a ... read more

A man is on a walk by the coast in terrible weather, and ducks into a bar that is situated at the top of a cliff overlooking the sea to escape the rain and the wind.

He sits at the bar and orders a whiskey, and strikes up a conversation with an old man at the bar. The men talk for a couple o... read more

Tom had lived in New York City for 30 years now. As he looked out the window of his office suite, he realized it was Christmas Eve.

He had been so absorbed with the company business and without a family of his own, had really not been paying attention to the holidays. As he stared at t... read more

A man is interviewed after his wife was swept away in a flood. The reporter asks "Were you close with your wife?" He responds, "No, we drifted apart recently."

...We drifted apart.

“Papa,” said the first one, “why did you name me Lily?”

“Because when you were a baby a pedal from a lily blew in the window and landed on your head,” he said.

“And why did you name me Robin?” the next one asked.

“Because when you were a baby a robin flew in the window and perch... read more

"Of course, you can stay here until the morning. We even have spare rooms you can stay in." said the monk, who answered the door.


The man gratefully accepted the offer and followed the monk to the room. He quickly changed out of his wet clothes and lay in bed, only to notice a muffled ... read more

She walked into the first room where a woman had hold of her precious newborn child with the face of an angel. She asked the mother what the name was, to which the mother replied,

"I called her Rose because when i was going into labour, a rose petal drifted in through the window and landed on... read more

A few minutes into the meal, the oldest daughter looked up and asked the father, "Dad, why was I named Rose?"

"Because when you were born, a rose drifted down out of nowhere and landed on your forehead," he answered.

Intrigued, the middle daughter then asked, "Then why was I named Lily... read more

That's when I realized I had drifted into the wrong lane

As their souls drifted heavenwards, they saw a band of angels, and they cried out "Ah! Angels!"

The angels saw the souls, but were too polite to say anything.

Two bachelors, Larry and Frank were out to dinner. The conversation drifted from office, sports to politics and then to cooking.
“I got a cook book once” said Larry. “But I couldn’t do anything with it.”
“Too much fancy stuff in it, huh?” asked Frank.
“You said it, Larry replied, ... read more

The nurse said “Don’t worry, you just drifted off for a minute doctor.”

A moth goes into a dietitian's office looking very unwell.


The dietitian goes, "What seems to be the problem?"


The moth replies, "Where to start, doc? Each day I wake up at 6:00 a.m. next to a moth wife I once loved, who I have slowly drifted away from over the days. Her once... read more

A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.

His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.

Later, her husband w... read more

One day Myas and his two friends planned a trip to sail across the vast ocean. They rented a ship and when the date came, they set sail. Everything was going accordingly until the third night when a storm happened upon them. Waves buffeted the hull. Gusts of wind enveloped the sails. As the ship roc... read more

There was once a man just like me and you. He woke up in the morning, went to work and enjoyed a beer with his friends in the evening.

One day the man was walking down an empty street when a young man jumped at him with a knife, stabbed him and took his money.

The man thought surely h... read more

But I didn't have the drive for it and I drifted away from that career.

Jesus, Moses and St. Peter decided to go on a picnic. After some discussion, they agreed to have their picnic on a secluded island so no one could bother them.

As the three of them were eating their picnic lunch, St. Peter notices that the boat they had arrived in had drifted out to sea.
... read more

...so much to the point that the rooftops were the only dry place. Vince and Frank were seated on one roof, waiting for rescue, when suddenly, out of one of the houses, they observe a floating hat.

It drifts over to a shed nearby and then drifts back to the front of the house. Bubbles started... read more