Domestic Abuse Jokes - 13 Hilarious Domestic Abuse Jokes

A domestic abuser, a klansmen, and a murderer walk into a bar.

Bartender: what will it be, officer?

What do you call a group of domestic abusers?

A Heard.

My gf wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse

But I beat her to it

Please dont tell jokes about domestic abuse...

They hit too close to home

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was reading an article on how men could be the victims of domestic abuse

I was starting to believe this crap, but thankfully, my wife came in and slapped me back to my senses. That's the last time I'm reading men's rights propaganda.

Irish man arrested for domestic abuse

The man has been arrested on the same charge 5 times before.

"Why do you keep beating her Paddy?" asked the police officer.

"Well isn't that obvious you idiot?

It is my height and weight advantage coupled with my superior reach and better footwork!"

Why is there no equality in domestic abuse?

Someone always has the upper hand.

A man brings his wife to his first domestic abuse support group

As they sit down, the man beside him leans over and whispers in his ear:

"You hittin' that?"

Wife and chair

(In a courtroom, a judge is hearing a case of domestic abuse)

Judge: Mrs. Smith, why did you hit your husband with a chair?

Wife: (sobbing) I tried not to … but I couldn’t lift a table.

They are opening a hardware store in Indiana where they will only employ people who have had a difficult childhood being raised in either domestic abuse or foster houses.

It will be called the Broken Home Depot.

If russia is the motherland and germany is the fatherland

That makes WWII domestic abuse

Did you know my dad is an incredible magician?

He can turn a case of Jack Daniels into a case of domestic abuse

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A day in the ER

Sean Bean's wife brings her husband into the Emergency department with a broken nose and a bruised shoulder. During triage the nurse asks how the Sean sustained the injuries. After a nudge from his wife, he sullenly replies "I was looking over my shoulder and walked into a door." The nurse wonders h...

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