Directors Jokes - 21 Hilarious Directors Jokes

I can't understand how funeral directors have raised the price of funerals....

By blaming it on the cost of living!

Four cannibals apply for a job in a big corporation…

„Well“, says the boss, „if I hire you guys, you have to promise to not eat any of our staff.“

The cannibals promise that they will not eat anyone and get hired.

Everything is going well for a while, and one day the boss calls them into his office.

“You’re working well and all, ...

A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting

CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

Board: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.

CEO: Yeah but we make hammers

Two managing directors ...

Two managing directors are talking. "Tell me, Eric. How do you get your employees to show up so early every morning?"

Eric: "Very simple. I have 50 employees but only 40 parking spaces".

Movie directors are the worst....

They're always going around making a scene.....

Problem with pay equality is that men tend to go for higer paying jobs

...like doctors or directors. While females tend to settle with lesser paying ones like female doctors or female directors.

The board of directors for Old McDonald’s Farm has decided to give me a promotion.

I’m the new C-I-E-I-O.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Plan

In the beginning, there was a plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan without substance

And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And they spoke among themselves saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it sti...

I hate seeing directors make the same movie. It gets boring, I guess I'm...

Board of directors

Why do funeral directors hold most services before 12 pm?

Because they're mourning people.

Indian motorcycles hired an outside accountant to figure out their declining revenue. the board of directors required all C-level executives to attend the reporting. He found that the executives were overpaid limiting production.

In summary: too many Chiefs not enough Indians.

I have a very important job in my company. I make sure that there are enough seats when the Directors meet.

Basically, I'm the Chairman of the Board.

A new widow is talking to the funeral director

She says, "Lying over there is my John, God rest his soul. And he's laid out in his favorite brown suit. I kept my promise to send him here with that suit, but he looks awful in brown."

"Here's $200. I want you to get him a blue suit for the viewing and funeral."

The undertaker says he...

I was so nervous having to present my proposal to the board of directors that I ended up constipated.

Luckily, motion passed.

Today I passed my exams to be a funeral director

Shame it's a dying trade

How many movie directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, but the last one has to be M. Night Shyamalan, to give it a twist at the end.

Why do Band Directors do so good at Stand-Up Comedy?

Their jokes are very well orchestrated.
(Edit: Was checking posts to see if this was done before. Credit to u/EmpiricalPeguin in the Comments of a Beethoven joke post)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have one question for porn directors who end scenes with a thirty second close-up of the dude's face.

Where the fuck do you get off?

My friend said "Women directors have never had major success with a live action film"

So I said, "Nonsense! Just look at the Matrix trilogy."

How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. No one ever watches the choir director.

What does Corporate America call a company with an all-white, all-male Board of Directors and an all-white, all-male Executive Team, except for one white lady who's the VP of HR and an Indian dude who's the CTO?

Diverse

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