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Funeral Directors Jokes

I can't understand how funeral directors have raised the price of funerals....

By blaming it on the cost of living!

A new widow is talking to the funeral director

She says, "Lying over there is my John, God rest his soul. And he's laid out in his favorite brown suit. I kept my promise to send him here with that suit, but he looks awful in brown."

"Here's $200. I want you to get him a blue suit for the viewing and funeral."

The undertaker says he...

Why do funeral directors hold most services before 12 pm?

Because they're mourning people.

Today I passed my exams to be a funeral director

Shame it's a dying trade

Walking past the funeral directors.

I was walking past the funeral directors the other day, and I looked in, and was shocked to see a large, hairy elephant in a black suit showing a family a head stone.

I thought to myself "That's a mammoth undertaking."

What is the busiest industry in the World?

Funeral Directors.

And they say it's a dying trade?

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