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Board Of Directors Jokes

A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting

CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.


Board: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.





CEO: Yeah but we make hammers

The board of directors for Old McDonald’s Farm has decided to give me a promotion.

I’m the new C-I-E-I-O.

Indian motorcycles hired an outside accountant to figure out their declining revenue. the board of directors required all C-level executives to attend the reporting. He found that the executives were overpaid limiting production.

In summary: too many Chiefs not enough Indians.

I was so nervous having to present my proposal to the board of directors that I ended up constipated.

Luckily, motion passed.

What does Corporate America call a company with an all-white, all-male Board of Directors and an all-white, all-male Executive Team, except for one white lady who's the VP of HR and an Indian dude who's the CTO?

Diverse

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Henry woke up with one hell of a hangover…

(Long-ish)

Henry woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a fantastic headache, cotton-mouthed and completely unable to recall the events of the night before.

He made his way downstairs and his wife put some coffee in front of him.

'Olivia,' he moaned, 'tell me what...

Why I didn't get the job...

I applied for an executive position at a major corporation. They called me in for an interview with the board of directors, and it went pretty well. The next day I got a call... it was the vice president on the line!

"Listen, sir", he told me, "you left me very impressed yesterday. But the...

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New CEO

The board of directors at one company decided to hire new executive staff in order to increase the company's profits. The new CEO was a very tough guy who made it his mission to rid the company of slackers. One time he notices a guy in the hallway leaning against the wall picking his nose. As there ...

I hate seeing directors make the same movie. It gets boring, I guess I'm...

Board of directors

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The Plan

In the beginning was the plan, and with it came the assumptions.

And the assumptions were without form, and the plan was fiscally unsound,

hopelessly flawed, and completely without substance.

And darkness was upon the faces of the rank and file Employees.

And they became...

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A delicate corporate matter

All of the ten senior members of the Board of Directors of the company were called into the chairman's office one at a time until only Bob, the most junior member was left sitting outside.

Finally it was Bob's turn to be summoned. He entered the office to find the Chairman and the ten other d...

Software development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discov...

Oldie but a goodie

A local hardware company called Tompkins have a new line of nails that they wish to sell.

They hire a big shot advertising agency and one of the salesman begins work on the advertising campaign to sell these new "Tompkins nails".

After a month the salesman calls a meeting with the bo...

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