When my dad died it was left to me to manage his affairs

How he kept all those women a secret from my mum I'll never know

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Japanese Ministry of Artistic Affairs Warns the Art of Origami is in Decline!

More on this as the story unfolds.

Given the current state of affairs, Santa needed something new to give to naughty children this year.

Which is why he has decided to give out coalvid

What's NC Senate candidate Cal Cunningham's position on extra marital affairs?

Missionary.

The divorce lawyer told me to get my affairs in order.

I said alphabetically or by age

You want to know how I keep my affairs in order?

In my little black book, alphabetically of course.

The current state of affairs...

Legal, but highly immoral.

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What do you call 2 people from different countries having sex?

Foreign Affairs

Due to a severe increase in Teachers having affairs with their Students,

Homeschooling has been banned by the Governor of Alabama.

Dr calls man & demands he come into the office immediately.

Dr says you remember those tests we ran a couple of days ago? The man say yes. Dr says well I have some bad news and I have some really bad news. The man say well let me have the bad news first. The Dr says you only have 3 days to live & you need to get your affairs in order. The man says, wow...

Upon returning from the doctor's office, a son tells his father the bad news. "I'm afraid i have bad news. Doc says the chemo isn't taking. He said I should get my affairs in order and try to enjoy the coming days with friends and family."

To which the dad replies "hi afraid i have bad news. Doc says the chemo isn't taking. He said I should get my affairs in order and try to enjoy the coming days with friends and family, I'm dad."

The veteran’s affairs office requests several ex-soldiers to come by and hear about a new pension plan.

“Alright men,” the official begins, “we’ve tried out a lot of pension plans in the past and none of them have worked out. At this point, we’re winging it. We’re going to measure between two points of your body, and whatever the distance is in inches, that’s how many thousand dollars you’ll get. So t...

The president was getting his daily briefing about world affairs...

The president was getting his daily briefing about world affairs. His advisor concluded it with, "and yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed in an attack."

"That's terrible!" responded the president. "We need to act now. I need to talk directly with the people. Set up a time for it, a...

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(NSFW) "At one point," boasted the ageing rock star, "I was having affairs simultaneously with Ms Estefan, Ms Gaynor and Ms Steinem!"

"Sounds like a good time!" replied the interviewer.

"Good? It was fucking Glorias!"

A couple are on a blind date. She, a New York realtor; he, a Russian businessman. After a lovely dinner, conversation turns to world affairs, and the man expresses some anti-Islamic views.

The woman is incensed, but the guy is cute so she decides to give him a second chance: “I don’t know what’s acceptable in Russia, but I don’t want to hear any of that bigoted rhetoric. Not another word! I’m going to the washroom to cool off and we’ll try again.” As the woman leaves the table the...

I went to college to study foreign affairs

And now I know how to cheat on my wife with a russian beauty!

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