UPJOKE
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Dic Jokes

My dic is so small...

That the above is not a typo.

Why doesn’t Putin use his own hands when he sends a text?

‘Cause he’s more of a dictator.

Boss: Do you know why I called you in here?

Me: Because I accidentally sent you a dic pic

Boss: (Stops pouring 2 glasses of wine)
Accidentally?

credit u/zarina300

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Joker send Harley Quinn A Photo of Robin?

She asked him for a dick pic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in the day last name said something about your profession...

The Smiths would hammer away creating armor and weapons as blacksmiths. The Fishers would navigate the seas in search as fishermen. And The Dickinsons, well no one really knew what they did.

A phallus shaped potato ruled the world with an iron fist.

He was a Dic-tater.

What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties?

A dic-tater.

3 men go for an interview

3 men go to an interview for a sales job and the boss calls them all in and says “Whoever goes out and sells the most dictionaries can have the job”.


So the first guy goes out, sells a few dictionaries and comes back.


“How many did you manage to sell?”


With an upbea...

I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she'll know what rejection feels like

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