UPJOKE
repudiatedisinheritrejectdenyrenounceabjuredisavowresilerefuterepudiationexcommunicatescoldcondescendconsanguinitydisclaim

Disown Jokes

My daughter just walked into the living room and said

"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.

Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me a...

Today I came out to my parents, and my dad instantly wanted to disown me.

Luckily, his boyfriend talked him out of it

What is a parent that has disowned their child called?

A paren't

My dad said he'd disown me if I didn't know a twelve letter synonym for "obstructive".

That's unreasonable.

My father just disowned me and my brother after we got hired as valets…

I guess we can understand him, no man alive wants to have Parking-sons

How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big?

Ostrich-sized.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese family moved into my neighborhood when I was in high school...

They had a pair of twins, named Ving and Ling, who were my age. I liked Ving, but his sister Ling was kind of a . Eventually, Ling told me that he hated his name, and he wanted to change it. I asked him, "What do you want to change your name to?" and he said "Lee. You know, like Bruce Lee?" Lin...

A stranger comes up and sits on the chair besides me.

"My week has been horrible," he says.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It only gets worse and worse for each day," he says,.

"Tell me about it."

"On Monday I was fired," he said.

"On Tuesday I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me."

"On Wednsday my parents d...

My Asian friend had a blood test

His parents nearly disowned him when he got B+

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The purple flower joke. (Very long)

Once there was a boy in 5th grade, and he really liked this girl (simp) and he knew that she liked the color purple.

So one day during recess he found these purple flowers and decided to make his move on the girl, so he walked up to her (with the flowers) and said "You are my purple flower" a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Purple Passion"

A boy was walking to school. A creepy man jumps out from behind a bush and screams at the kid, "Purple passion!"

Needless to say, the boy was frightened and took another way to school. He was late. The teacher asks why, and he explains:

"Some weird guy shouted 'Purple passion!' on my w...

A son has just gotten his report card, it's not good....

"Hello father, here's my report card....", the son says.
"All Cs!" His father is furious. "Son, if you don't improve your grades by next term I will disown you....if you don't get As, I don't want you to call me father any more!"

.....next term comes and goes.....the son gets his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of my chinese friend and his struggles

Earlier this year, a chinese family moved into my small town. The family had two twins who were both seniors in my class, Ving and Ling. Ving and his sister Ling were quiet to start off with, but eventually I made good friends with Ving. After talking to him for a few weeks he revealed to me that he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Purple Flower

So there's this guy walking to school and on his way there he sees these two girls talking to each other. He drops in on their conversation and hears them talking about a purple flower. He thought to himself "Purple flower?" and stops to think about it. He realizes he's late for school and runs as f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a high school with a set of Chinese twins...

In high school, I was in class with a set of Chinese twins named Ving and Ling. Me and Ving got along pretty well, she'd help me with my trig and I'd help her with English. One day she asked me for help on changing her name. She didn't like the name Ving because it was too stereotypical. I would pro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl has an interesting dream...

In the dream, she was in a circular room, throwing flowers in the air, saying "The flowers are so pretty, the flowers are so pretty."

She went to school the next day and forgot to bring her show-and-tell project because she kept thinking about the dream. It came her turn to go, and she went t...

The old man, the prince, and the fish.

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a certain land, who wanted to be a lowly fisherman when he grew up. But try as he could, he couldn't ever catch a single fish. He had tried many methods, including nets, spears, and traps, but all to no avail.

Furthermore, he was looked down upon by the...
5 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.