Trump is the first person in American history who is refusing to concede and leave the White House despite losing the election.

I think he really wants to be the precedent.

How did Ivanka handle her father’s reaction when she suggested they concede?

She shouted: “No Daddy! Stop! I said *concede* not *conceive*”

Kanye West Concedes After Failing to Get 0.5% of Vote in Early Returns

Now he is an electoral college drop out

After the losing party refuses to accept election results, a country is teetering on the edge of a civil war.

Armed insurgents invade the capitol, threaten violence and are ultimately overpowered. But intelligence shows that they may be planning another attack.

The country’s leaders ask for advice in how to handle the violence.

The winning party yells “Impeach the outgoing president during...

Trump's Conceded!!!

Sorry, typo. He is conceited.

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement an...

3 Guys are waiting in line to enter heaven

Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first guy, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've sus...

A new sapling popped up between a maple and a pine tree in the forest and they got into an argument over what kind of tree it was. The maple thinks it's a son of a birch and the pine thinks it's a son of a beech. Neither one was willing to concede to the other...

The maple barked, "It's a son of a birch!"

The pine bristled, "It's a son of a beech!"

"Son of a birch!"

"Son of a beech!"

After arguing back and forth for a while, they decided that they needed someone else to sort out what kind of tree it was.

They called Mr. Woo...

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

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When God created man, all of the parts of the body argued over who would be boss.

The Brain said that since he controlled the body that he should be boss.

The Eyes said that without them man would be helpless, they should be boss.

The Legs said that since they took man wherever he wanted to go, they should be boss.

The Stomach said that since it digested the ...

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A scoutmaster and his girlfriend go hiking in the woods...

They take a break in a rocky clearing with odd writing. After a while, they get frisky, and decide to play a little game called hide the sausage. They look around for people even though they’re in the middle of nowhere. It seems all clear and they go for it. Little did they know, they were in the mi...

My buddy told me he got laid off from his job reviewing vendors on eBay, Amazon, etc...

...so I said "Sorry to hear that, man. Let's go grab some meth and we'll tweak out to forget about it."

"Nah," he said. "I don't really feel like it."

"Come on," I urged. "A little crystal will do you good."

"I don't know..." he mumbled.

"Dude, let's get cranked already...

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Bob, an Olympic class wrestler - has a match with Bjorn, a Lapland wrestling grandmaster

Before the meet, Bob's coaches warned him that Bjorn has a deadly stranglehold move called "the pretzel". They warned him not to dip his right shoulder while standing face to face, or he will certainly lose.

Bob keeps this advice in mind as he wrestles Bjorn - but he loses concentration for ...

I saw a girl sitting at the bar the other day, so I went over.

"What's your name?" I asked her

"Chantelle," she said. I looked at her puzzled.

"What?" I asked.

"Chantelle," she repeated. This just confused me even more.

"Come on, seriously, what's your name?" I asked.

"I told you, Chantelle!" She exclaimed.

"Fine then!"...

Roy Moore still hasn't conceded, which actually makes sense.

How could anyone banned from mall food courts know anything about concessions?

News: Hillary Clinton concedes her defeat to Donald Trump in a private phone call.

Safe to say she's learned her lesson with emails!

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Christian vs Jewish

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be perm...

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A farmer has 18 beautiful daughters

One day three brothers were traveling when they stopped at this farmer's farmstead to rest. The farmer let them in and gave them food and drink.

Upon seeing the many beautiful maidens, the eldest brother approached the farmer, and asked, "Farmer, can I sleep with your 18 daughters?"

Th...

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An old farmer and his neighbor butt heads

An old farmer lives in a world that is always a few generations behind the modern era. As the city grows, the suburbs encroach upon the rural countryside inhabitants that have stewarded these hills for the last 3 centuries. The farmer has a city-folk neighbor that moved in last year who often visits...

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at...

Just an inch !

An American, an Afghan and an Frenchman sitting outside a bar, keep arguing about how their country is more advanced. A heated debate between the American and Frenchman continues whilst the Afghan can't seem to beat either of them and seems visibly frustrated.
" Our military is so advanced that ...

Two long time friends, Ollie and Brock, woke up early for work as they always do.

They each got into their trucks and headed to the local Ag plant where they work as produce haulers.

"What do you have for us today Flower?" asked Brock as they walk in. Their secretary’s real name is Ava but they always jokingly call her Flower.

"Well we've got three shipments that a...

Two witches were arguing about who was the better witch

One rainy day inside the coven HQ, Meredith and Wendy were arguing about who was the better witch.

"I'm the superior spellcaster", boasted Meredith. She raised her wand into the air, and conjured up a small cloud. It snowed over Wendy's head, dropping hailstones the size of marbles.

"...

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Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of the...

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One Pope, in the Dark Ages, decreed that all Jews had to leave Rome...

...The Jews did not want to leave, and so the Pope challenged them to a disputation to prove that they could remain. No one, however wanted the responsibility… until the synagogue janitor, Moishe, volunteered.

As there was nobody else who wanted to go, Moishe was given the task. But because h...

Carruthers and Blenkinsop have been lost in the desert for many days, and they just finished the last of their water that morning.

Blenkinsop says "Carruthers, old chap, to be perfectly honest it looks like we're finished," and Carruthers says "You're probably right, old fellow, but never say die, what? You never know what's over the next sand-dune."

Prophetic words, for over the next sand dune they spy what appears to b...

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A mathematician, a philosopher, and an idiot come before the gates of heaven.

St. Peter looks over the three of them and says, "Heaven's getting pretty full, so I can only let one of you in. The other two will have to go to hell." So he snaps his fingers and Satan appears.

Satan says, "Each of you can ask me one question. If you can stump me on the first try, you win, ...

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The pope decides to remove all of the jews from italy.

The jews, obviously, disagree with this; so the pope agrees to have a debate with a rabbi for if the jews should stay in italy or not. The jews vote and decide on an old, wise rabbi.

The time for the debate comes, and it dawns on them that they can't understand each other, so they decide to ...

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James is suffering from severe headaches. [Long]

For as long as he can remember, he's had debilitating headaches that have hampered his life in every way. He finally seeks medical help. After some tests, the doctor returns:

"James, I don't know quite how to say this. It seems your testicles are pressing against the base of your spine, pi...

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A Jew walks into a church during services, and begins to pray

He puts on his tallis (a Jewish garb for praying), takes out a prayerbook, and recites the beginning of the traditional service. A clergyman notices the Jew, and, bewildered, says, "Will all non-christians please leave."

The Jewish man just continues his prayer, not paying any attention to th...

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Was reminded of my dad’s favorite joke when I saw a similar joke posted earlier today. He owns his own construction company and would tell this to everyone.

All the body parts get together to decide who is the boss of the body.

First is the brain. “It’s obvious I’m the boss. I’m the smartest and without me the body wouldn’t even know what to do.”

The hands speak up and say, “Without us the body wouldn’t be able to get food to the mouth. Th...

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An Ethical Dilemma

You are playing in the club championship knockout final and the match was all square at the end of 17 holes. You had the honour and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple 7 iron to the pin.

Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it de...

During the Gulf War, a soldier has just arrived in Iraq

Two days after being deployed, he gets asked by his best mate back at home to the mate's best man at his wedding. The soldier quickly agrees, and go to ask his commanding officer for leave.

"Leave? After only two days? You must be mad, to even consider asking me for it. You won't get leave un...

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An incredibly wealthy genius loves riddles.

Bored with being smarter than anyone he meets the man decides to offer his fortune to anyone who is able to stump him with a question or riddle. Thousands of people come to try and trick the man and without effort he answers every riddle and piece of trivia he is challenged with.
Finally an old...

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About an inch

The UN is in session and the three major superpowers, the US, Russia, and China are trying to out do each other's achievements.

The US says "we have a missile that could reach any point on Earth with amazing precision and destroy it."

Everyone else starts chattering in disbelief and t...

Cold War Dog Fight

During the Cold War, the Soviets and the Americans decided that nuclear brinkmanship was not sustainable. So they agreed to settle the question of world hegemony once and for all with a good old-fashioned dog fight - the parties had one year to prepare.

The top scientist of both nations worke...

A couple got into an argument...

A couple got into an argument while on a drive through the countryside. It got quite heated and neither of the two wanted to concede, so they sat in silence for several kilometers.

As they passed a farm full of pigs bathing in mud, the wife spoke up and said:

"Relatives of yours?"
<...

Once upon a time an alien race tried to invade Earth (OC)

Humans were at a loss to protect themselves, then The Doctor came and and protected Earth. Everyone asked, "Doctor Who?"

There was no answer. Humans moved on and named The Doctor, "Doctor Who".



Once again an Alien race tried to invade earth. Helpless earth chanted "Doctor Who...

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A novice is working in the scriptorium and he gets to wondering . . .

. . . if he is copying copies of copies of copies of copies, might errors have crept in somewhere. So he asks the abbot, who concedes the point, and descends to the manuscript repository to find the earliest copy of the MS in question.

The novice waits patiently, but the abbot is gone an awf...

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm

He knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy, about 12, opened the door.

"Is yerpa home?" The farmer asked. 

"No sir, he sure ain't," the boy replied. "He went to town."

"Well," said the farmer. "Is yer ma home?"

"No, she ain't here either. She went to town with Pa." <...

Bar Contest

So a guy who's new in town walks into the nearest water hole. As he walks in he see this huge jar full of ten dollar bills. Curious, he asks the barman what its all about. 
"If you can complete three challenges you win the whole jar." 
The guy thought there must have been thousands in th...

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David and the voice.

David was working in his shoe shop one day when he heard a voice whisper out to him, "Sell your shop".

He ignored it contributing it to the old building. The next week he heard it again. "Sell your shop," the voice whispered. He continued to ignore it until the voice was speaking to him every...

So a blonde is looking for some work...

So a blonde is looking for some work and is going door to door to see if there is any small chores she can do for money. She goes up to this large house with a nice car in the driveway but a rather old and rickety looking porch that went all the way around the house. She walked up the stairs and rou...

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey.

The bartender says "get that monkey out of here, no animals allowed in the bar!" The man says, "he is very well trained, let him stay". The bartender nods and says, "what'll it be?". The man orders a beer, amd then a few more. After he's good and drink he slides a beer to his monkey. The monkey down...

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The pope is in Mexico visiting. He lowers the partition and kindly asks if he can drive.....

Driver: Excuse me your excellency?

Pope: I said, would you mind if I drive today?

Driver: B..bu...but, sir I will most certainly loose my job if I did that.

Pope: In all these years I have never driven. I used to enjoy driving so very much. I promise, you will not loose your...

The basketball coach storms into the president office and demands a raise..

The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.

“Jesus Christ, man,” protested President Kubritski, “you already make more than the entire English department.”
“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” th...

Two scientists are studying a nest of newly-hatched crows..

The new parents are doing what they can, and the three chicks are noisy and demanding.

One day, the scientists notice that one of the chicks isn't making noise anymore. They see he's making the motions, but no sound is coming from his beak.

The scientists decide to do something to try ...

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It was a fine day out on the sea...

when a young sailer prepared to set sail on his first voyage. Before he boarded the vessel, he came across an old pirate sitting drunkenly on the docks.

"Hey, old-timer," he began, "you look like you've seen your fair share of sea. Could you spare some advise for a young sailer?"

"Gar...

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Three race horses are sitting round a bar table and discussing their latest wins.

The first horse boasts that he's won 6 of his last 10 races. The second horse immediately puts down his achievement by telling the group he's won 11 of his last 15 races. "That's nothing!" Interrupts the third horse. "I've won 24 of my last 30 races!"

Now the other two have nothing to say to...

A Brazilian and Argentinian find a lamp after a football (soccer) match...

On their way back from a very tight football match, two fans, one Brazilian and one Argentinian bump into each other and see a lamp at their feet.

Assuming there is a genie inside, they begin arguing who gets to rub the lamp first. The Brazilian concedes and allows the Argentinian to go firs...

The Doctor and The Veterinarian

Two lifelong friends, a doctor and a vet, are in a bar. Over the course of a few drinks the topic of conversation moves to work.

"You are lucky" says the vet "Your patients come in and tell you what is wrong with them. It would make treating them so much simpler"
"Ah" retorts the doctor "...

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A pope in the middle ages is trying to kick the Jews out of Rome...

And the Jewish population is able to convince him to hear out their side first before making them leave. The pope agrees, but the only Jewish man who thinks himself to be a good enough debater is the rabbi, Moishe. But since Moishe only speaks Hebrew and the Pope only Latin and Italian, they agree t...

A doctor, a lawyer, and an architect were arguing about who had the smartest dog.

A doctor, a lawyer, and an architect were arguing about who had the smartest dog. They decided to settle the issue by getting all the dogs together and seeing whose could perform the most impressive feat.
"Okay, Rover," ordered the architect, and Rover trotted to a table and in four minutes cons...

The Lord's Prayer

When KFC sales hit a lean patch, Colonel Sanders came up with a brilliant advertising idea. He got in touch with the Pope and asked the pontiff whether he could change the words of the Lord's Prayer from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "Give us this day our daily chicken." "I can't possibly do...

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an ageing prostitute went into a pet store

she wanted one of the newly weened puppies they had on display. the clerk, knowing that puppies so young can be difficult, began to explain how to feed, train, and care for a puppy, the woman was confused by everything he said and seemed to be taking in none of the information being presented to her...

When men and women argue who's the most stubborn...

Then men concede they are are, because they just don't want to argue this anymore.

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South American Blow Job Toad

A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him.

The guy asks, "What's in the box?"

The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad."

The young guy looks around. "Can I try it?"

The older guy nods. The young gu...

Lancelot!

Lancelot, the chief knight of King Arthur, wanted to spend some time with Queen Guinevere. He couldn't, however, get her away from Arthur, so he calls Merlin the wizard to help him.

"I want to be with the Queen, help me"

So Merlin pours some itchy powder in her underwear. Soon, the Que...

Three macho Eskimos were arguing about who had the coldest igloo, so they decided to check each in turn.

Three macho Eskimos were arguing about who had the coldest igloo, so they decided to check each in turn. Sure he’d clinched the argument, the first Eskimo pulled back his polar-bear-skin blanket and revealed that his bed was made of ice.

“Nah, mine’s colder,” claimed the second Eskimo. And wh...

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The first Wednesday of every month God and St. Peter meet to discuss the operations and logistics of Heaven...

...and, as usual, everything is great and fine; but they both notice that Heaven is starting to get a tad overcrowded. So, they both agree that from now on, not only do you have to be a good person when you die, you must also have had a bad day the day you died.

The next day, St. Peter takes...

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