This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Ireland Declares War on France

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," the President of France ...

I u/deadroadie am declaring my official run for presidential candidacy.

If any one can claim to be running for presidential candidacy, why not throw my name into the ring. Hell, why stop there, I fully support Cujo as my Vice President because he's such a heckin good boy!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

NFSW A young man had made up his mind to become a lumberjack. So he takes all his tree falling equipment to a lumberjack camp in Quebec.

On his first day he does very well. Keeping up with the other lumberjacks all day.

When the evening meal came, he joined the circle sitting around the campfire, eating the standard
woodsmen's fare; beans & black coffee.

Around the middle of their meal one of the largest lumberj...

Some say Trump is mentally unfit after declaring a national emergency?

However, it's all due to Hispanic attacks.

Naming your favorite Beatle is like declaring your favorite child.

It's George.

I'm declaring war on calendars

Their days are numbered.

So, Slovakia is declaring war to China...

And there is diplomats' meeting held before start. China's diplomat is asking things like: "Slovakia? Where it even is? And how big are you? How many are there of you?", on which Slovakian diplomat proudly answers: "Four and half million". China's diplomat smiles and says: "There's 2 billion of us!"...

Old tribal wisdom says that wh...

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. Businesses, however, often try other strategies. These include...
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this hor...

Boxes of previously uncounted ballots have been found in Florida

Associated Press is now declaring the State of Florida for Al Gore

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man is going on a walk through the woods and stumbles across a glowing lamp, and out comes a genie who him grants 3 wishes.

The man says to the genie, โ€œI wish to have unlimited wishes.โ€ The genie denies this wish and declares that it is against the rules to grant more wishes. Then, the man says, โ€œI wish for you you to summon a different genie that would be willing to grant me extra wishes.โ€ Once again, the genie denies t...

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