UPJOKE
connectionbindadherestickbailalliancetreasurynoteattachattachmenttieadhesionshackleadherencehamper

Bonds Jokes

who is James bonds favorite bar tender?

Michael J. Fox
upvote downvote report

My friend calls me James Bonds while I play Call Of Duty....

0 - Kills

0 - Assists

7 - Deaths
upvote downvote report

Superglue comes with a warning: "Caution - Instantly bonds skin." But a whole shipment got out with a misprint: "Caution - Instantly bonds kin."

That's how I ended up marrying my first cousin.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Names Bond

So, James Bond retired and a new 007 took his place. She had trained all her life for this role, and was eager to do her duty for queen and country. Her first day on the job, she was introduced to Q, who debriefed her on all her new gadgets. The one he was most proud of was a dress that could perfor...

Girls are like hydrogen bonds

They just want to have FON!
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of bonds have the worst return rate?

Vagabonds

My dad told me to invest my money into bonds.

So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger.
upvote downvote report

Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire were finally able to get into the Baseball Hall of Fame by using a Jedi mind trick...

"These are not the 'roids you're looking for ..."
upvote downvote report

What's the biggest difference between men and investment bonds?

Bonds mature.
upvote downvote report

The names Bond...

I am writing the next James Bond movie. In order to thwart Bonds womanizing means of infiltration, the latest evil mastermind has employed an army of devout nuns.

I am calling it, Hymen’s Are Forever.
upvote downvote report

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?

Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
upvote downvote report

007 is both James Bonds number and Russias country code, a coincidence...?

...yes, that's a coincidence.
upvote downvote report

Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad?

Because they're diene
upvote downvote report

My Chemistry homework is asking me to rank the bonds by relative strength.

Could Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig beat Sean Connery in a fight?
upvote downvote report

The world's richest man is dying...

The world's richest man is dying. He has made peace with that.

But what is bothering him so much is that no one in the afterlife will even know that he has amassed such a colossal personal fortune. On Earth, everyone knows he's a self-made man who built this huge fortune from scratch, but he...
upvote downvote report

You'd think atoms bonds would mean they were being friendly to each other...

But, they end up stealing each other's electrons.

Isn't that ionic?
upvote downvote report

The bonds of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to carry them.

Sometimes three.
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information