A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”

The doctor replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!”

“That’s a lot of money,” says the old ma...

Heisenberg is driving to a convention to show off his new Uncertainty Principle

On the way he observes the speedometer, and finds himself lost.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A blonde has been out for cocktails with her friends. She drives off and is speeding down the Interstate, when she hears the wail of a siren & then sees the blue & red lights in her mirror. The police wave her down. So she takes the exit, parks and the police car pull up behind.

The cop nudges his partner and says "She's a blonde, just watch this"
He walks up to her car and indicates for her to wind down her window. She does so.

Cop: "Ma'am, any idea what speed you were doing?"

Blonde: "How would I know that?"
Cop: "The speedometer Ma'am.
Blonde: "Wh...

Cop: know how fast u were going;

Me: obviously. I have a speedometer.
Cop: i know that
Me: then why did u ask
Cop: [looking down moving toe around the dirt] I just wanted to talk

I was once driving down the road..

..where I read a sign which said,
“Speed limit 30km”
I slowed down to 30km/h
A little further, another one
“Speed limit 20km”
I had to slow down even more,
Moving on, I saw another one
“Speed limit 10km”
My speedometer had come down to 10km/h
Not long after that, there was...

The Ferrari and the Moped

A man saves up his entire life to buy a ferrari. He goes to the dealership and chooses a red one. As he pulls out of the parking lot he comes to a red light. As he is waiting for the light to change he sees a fat kid pull up next to him on a moped. The kid grins at him showing his puffy cheeks and s...

A man, driving his mother in law in the back is stopped for speeding

“did you know you were above the speed limit?” - the officer asks

“I’m so sorry, my speedometer is broken” - replies the man

“None sense” - says the mother in law - “I’ve been telling you for at least half an hour that you were driving too fast”

The officer continues- “also, are...

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

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Three legged chicken

A real estate agent from the city is driving down a county road looking for the place he is to meet a new client. He looks out the window and sees a three legged chicken running beside him in the ditch.
He is amazed that as he looked at the speedometer in his car and he's doing 40 mph, all the w...

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I need some advice.

I have a 4" body lift on my truck. Two days ago, my truck started to shake after the speedometer hit 70mph. I think it's the suspension or the tires may be unbalanced and since the girls are no longer paying attention, does anyone know of any good free porn sites?

"Speeding"

Tom is cruising down the highway way over the speed limit. Cop pulls him over.
"Sorry officer, guess the speedometer got away from me. Happens every time I get hammered and try to drive home."
"What?! You're intoxicated?"
"Well I needed a stiff drink after I shot that guy! It's okay though,...

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A guy is driving down a country road...

He's kinda cruisin' and he looks out the window and sees a chicken running next to him. He also see the chicken has 3 legs. He checks his speedometer and he 's doing 45. So he accelerates and he's doing 60 now. Sure enough the chicken is running right next to him.

He sees the only farm house...

Werner Heisenberg just unveiled a new car...

It comes with a GPS or a speedometer, but not both.

I just got pulled over...

The police officer walked up and asked me: "Son, do you know how fast you were going?"

I looked over and said: "Not really, officer. I was paying attention to the car in front of me."

He pulled out his speedometer and read aloud, "I clocked you going 80 miles per hour."

"That's ...

Some Crazy Inventions That Never Got Patented

1. Underwater Hair dryer.
2. A parachute that opens on impact.
3. Non-stick glue.
4. A telescope that makes objects look further than they really are.
5. A microscope that makes objects look smaller than they really are.
6. A solar powered flash-light that only works during the day.<...

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