UPJOKE
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A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.

He walks directly up to the Madam, drops down $500, and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’,...

A man goes to a diner and orders a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of room temperature sweet tea.

When his food arrives he takes a sip of the tea but finds it to be scorching hot.
"Ow!" yells the man, "I asked for this to be room temperature!"
"It is, sir" says the waiter "The kitchen is on fire."

How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls grilled bears?

barely enough

I grilled a chicken for 2 hours...

It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.

I was once served a grilled cheese sandwich in Switzerland and it was too hot to eat and I injured myself.

I had to go to the Bern ward...

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I wanted to get to know the new priest at my church.

My priest and I agreed to go fishing. We sat there talking and waiting for a bite until, finally, the priest snagged a large fish. As I helped him pull it out of the water I said,"This is a big son of a bitch."

The priest stopped, "Son, why such salty language?"

Wanting to save face I ...

What is the difference between grill and house fire?

The size of grilled meat

Every time my mom burns my grilled cheese sandwich I get a stomach ache...

I guess I’m black toast intolerant.

Late Lent/Easter Joke

Eino, a Finn from Cook County in northern Minnesota, was an older, single gentleman who was born and raised a Lutheran. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, all of Eino’s neighbors were Catholic…..and since it was Lent, they were forb...

A bear walks into a restaurant. He tells his waiter, β€œI want a grilled ... cheese.”

The waiter says, β€œWhat’s with the pause?”

β€œWhat do you mean?” The bear replies. β€œI am a bear!”

What do you call a "Grilled Cheese" after a few days in the fridge?

Chilled Grease

Grilled cheese

It's like regular cheese but it's been bullied a lot

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I like my sex the same way I like my grilled cheese sandwiches [NSFW]

Alone and all over the bed.

What is the difference between going down on an old lady and pulling apart grilled cheese?

Not much...

Grilled some hotdogs and offered my friend one

He said, "No thanks, I'm Jewish."

I said, "Don't worry, they're free."

how time flys

A group of 15 year old boys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at the McDonald’s next to Captain Jack’s Seafood Grille because they only had six dollars among them, they could ride their bikes there, and Jennie Webster, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives ...

I grilled some steak for my father-in-law, and he said, β€œI like it well done.”

I said, β€œThanks,. That means a lot.”

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?

It's a little meteor.

What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face?

Too close for comfort food.

I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito...

Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child.

An idiot moves to a very religious catholic neighborhood.

This particular idiot loved to eat chicken, so he grilled it every day. Now, on Fridays, the people of his neighborhood would get irritated that someone was eating meat when they had to abstain, so they took it up with their pastor. Their pastor then went to the idiot, and told him about the message...

I hit a deer with my truck on the way home

And I really don't like it when meat goes to waste, so I guess it's a good thing I got it on the grille right away.

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Help, my wife is missing!!!

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over 170 centermeters tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never ...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:


* Nachos $4


* Hamburger $3


* Hotdog $2


* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3


* Grilled Cheese $2


* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50


* Handjob $10


After he looks over the menu for a mome...

A new supermarket opened near my house.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing, and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department, there is th...

I am disgusted by people who poach rare animals.

They are much better grilled.

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