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A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician each enter a room that has jug of water next to a bookshelf that is on fire.

The physicist looks at the shelf then looks at the water, He pulls out a sheet of paper and begins to calculate the exact amount of water required to put the fire out. The engineer enters the room looks at the shelf then looks at the water, grabs the jug and empties it on the fire. The mathematici...

The other night I spent hours and hours putting up a decent bookshelf. Came to sit down and the entire thing collapsed

Guess I've only got myshelf to blame.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought my sexual fantasies were weird...

... untill I heard my neighbour say to his wife, "Climb up that bookshelf, and jump on my dick baby."

Ikea

Something every person has to do once in their lives.
Going shopping at an IKEA and yell "Come on, Sven! We are going home." through the store, while dragging a bookshelf across the floor towards the exit.

Yoda a bookshelf built

DYIng he is

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at...

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A panda walks into a bar,

and orders a burger. The bartender is intrigued by the panda but does not want to pester his customer with questions. Everyone in the bar is startled, however, when the panda finishes his meal, pulls out a gun and fires straight through the ceiling of the building. He then puts the gun away and inst...

A young monk joins a monastery

After 2 weeks or so, he starts craving for a fap session and confesses about it to the head monk, thinking he would help him through a rough patch.
The head monk looks left and right and says carefully: "follow me"
He then proceeds to take him to the library, pulls a few books and a secret ent...

Today’s kids can never make up there minds

My son just asked me to make him a bookshelf and now he is complaining about the books hurting his back

I bought a book about improving memory

When I put it on my bookshelf, I saw three same books there.

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A koala bear and a hooker...

A koala bear and a hooker go back to her place and they get undressed. The koala bear goes down on the hooker for three hours straight. She has multiple orgasms! After three hours he stops, gets up and puts on his little koala clothes. The woman is hanging back huffing and puffing from exhaustion....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fluffy Toys

A guy met a girl at a nightclub and she invited him
back to her place for the night. She still lived with
her parents, but they were out of town, so this was
the perfect opportunity.

They got back to her house and they went into her bedroom.
When guy walked in the door, he notice...

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