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Dacha Jokes

Putin brings a flight attendant back to his dacha

While attending tea with an airline workers union, Russian president Putin notices one flight attendant hanging on his every word. He compliments her on her patriotism and brings her back for a tour of his dacha.

When they get there she says to him, “how about I be the Ukraine, and you invade...

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Putin is being driven down the street in his limo

And he sees a family on the side of the road eating grass. He tells his driver to pull over and he gets out of the limo and approaches the husband. "What are you doing? Why is your family eating grass?"he asks. "Oh, Mr President," the man says "Since the war in Ukraine began I've been thrown out of ...

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Vladimir Lenin and Nadezhda Krupskaya are sitting on the veranda of their dacha.

Krupskaya turns to Lenin and asks, "Vladimir Ilich, if you were to die, would you want to be buried or cremated?"

Lenin replies, "I don't give a shit. They could make me a mummy for all I know."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shaggy dog story…

Rudolf, the high ranking communist and his wife are asleep in their dacha outside Moscow. A noise on roof wakes her up. Wife says ‘there’s something moving around on our roof. I heard a plop then a clink‘.

Rudolf says ‘don’t worry dear, it’s just the first large raindrops’. Wife mumbles uncon...

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An American politician and a Russian politician are having dinner

They are eating at the American politician's house in suburban Virginia. A 6 bedroom house with a 2 Mercedes Benz at the front. And a 500 square foot garden.

The Russian politician remarked how nice his house was and how he was able to afford it.

The American politician said: "see that...

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Stalin enters his balcony

Cold russian morning. Stalin enters his balcony, looks around his dacha. The sun from the sky:

"Good morning, comrade Stalin!"

"Yeah, morning!"

In the afternoon, Stalin enters his balcony again. The sun:

"Good afternoon, comrade Stalin!"

"Yeah, good afternoon."
...

Mikhail Gorbachev wakes up late after a long night of worrying about the fate of the USSR over a bottle of vodka.

He's so late, in fact, that he tells his slow-driving limo driver to get out of the car so he can drive himself to the Kremlin. He's speeding down the highway from his dacha into downtown Moscow when he blazes past a cop car on the side of the road.

The first cop says to his partner, "Man, t...

A man from Moscow decides to move to a new collective farm in Siberia.

His family is excited at the possibility of leaving their cramped flat in the city for a nice country house, but they have heard mixed things about the new Siberian farms so the man agrees to go on his own first, and write back to let them know if they should follow him or not.

They know the ...

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