Shaking a bottle of turpentine. The local priest walking by, stopped and asked what he had in the bottle. Johnny said, “this is the most powerful liquid in the world, turpentine.” The priest said, “the most powerful liquid in the world is holy water. A couple drops on a pregnant woman’s belly, and...
"During your exam you hit two curbs, ran a red light, and went too fast," said the examiner.
"But on the upside," I replied, "you haven't arrested me for drunk driving."
Did you hear about the curbs going on strike?
They're lining the streets in protest
I traveled about 3 mph to work this morning because of this cold weather.
I went through parking lots, hopped curbs, slid across side walks and roads. It was exciting. I should walk to work more often.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Magic Dildo
A married man was about to go out of town for a business trip and he wanted to make sure his wife wouldn't cheat on him while he was away. He went to an adult toy store and looked around, not finding anything he thought would keep her satisfied, so he went to the man behind the counter and explained...
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