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Why did the hen share her crayons with the rooster?

So the cock could doodle too

Offensive crayon ideas!

Presidential Orange

Miscarriage Maroon

Privilege White

Travel Ban Brown

Lives Matter Black

"I should have known better than to talk to him like that, these bruises are my fault" Blue

I discovered red crayons in my girlfriends nurse uniform.

She said it's in case she has to draw blood.

What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common?

The whites are useless.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

I feel sorry for kids who used to eat chalks and crayons when they were little.

They must have dyed inside a little.

We all know Marines eat crayons, but what's their favorite flavor of crayon?

Crayonberry.

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The Gunny's Gun (a military joke)...

U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail.

So, the Joint Chiefs of Staff all get together one day at a tavern in Washington D.C. to brainstorm a solution. After many hours of back an...

I heard Joe Biden was gonna get the same intelligence briefing Trump gets everyday for the first time tomorrow.

Does the coloring book come with crayons?

Want to know why nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

What do you call a crayon that looks like a strawberry?

A cranberry.

My Dad has a box of crayons on him at all times

I'm so proud that he's in the Marines

Crayons are just like M&Ms....

They taste the same no matter what colour they are.

Where do crayons go on vacation?

Color-ado

What did the paper say to the crayon when he found out that the crayon was pregnant?

Well color me surprised!

I bought my grandchildren some crayons. I have to say...

... they make my kin scrawl.

A Hot Mess

A boy and a girl are spending some time together at home until...

Girl: “Can you make me some hot chocolate?”

Boy: “Sure.”

After some time, the boy returns with a hot cup and gives it to the girl, she takes a sip and immediately spits it out.

Girl: “This tastes horrible! ...

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No matter how many crayons you eat

If you paint with your poop it’s always going to come out looking like shit

Where does a crayon go on vacation?

Color-ado. My seven year old just told me this one.

When our little girl was sick in hospital we bought her a lifetime supply of crayons.

It cost $3.

An elementary school teacher told her students to each draw a picture of African wildlife that they had been studying.

After they all completed the assignment, she went around to each student asking them to comment on what they had drawn. When she got to Johnny she noticed that all he had was a white piece of paper with some tall grass in brown crayon at the bottom, a line of blue crayon at the top for the sky and ...

I knew giving my kid crayons was a terrible idea.

The writing was on the wall!

Fill out job applications in crayon...

...and if you don’t get hired, just blame it on your color.

Pencil Box Kingdom

Who's the king of the pencil box?

The ruler.

What's the kingdom's most important discovery?

Pencillin.

What is the national sport?

Erasing.

What's the national motto?

Keep calm, Crayon.

Who are their discriminated minority?

The whites....

What's the worst part about an unexpected box of Crayons?

It's out of the blue.

What did the White crayon say to the Black crayon?

We make a GRAY team!

My wife accused me of being unsympathetic and not listening, so I bought her a GI Joe coloring book.

Now she'll always have a soldier to crayon.

My niece stabbed me with a red crayon today...

It drew blood

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I went on the sex offender registry and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area, and sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote the letters in crayon.

After Trump changes course of hurricane with a sharpie

House approves budget of 12 crayons for border wall

I hated eating my greens in school when I was a kid

They always tasted worse than the other crayons

I was applying to volunteer at a blood drive, but they rejected me when they asked me to demonstrate drawing blood.

I guess they didn't want me to use crayon.

What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

My wife said she wanted to feel special this Valentines Day.

So I bought her a helmet and some crayons.

I just can't draw blood

With this orange crayon.


It isn't sharp enough.

Little Johnny's parents are concerned about his school art work.

Everything he brings home is black or brown. They take him to a psychologist to see if he is having some issues. The psychologist wants to see him at work; gives him some paper and a new box of crayons.

Johnny says "Cool. At school the only crayons we have left are black and brown."

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On Christmas Eve, a postman is collecting letters from the post box when he comes across a letter addressed to Father Christmas

Intrigued, he opens it, to find, scrawled in orange crayon, the words

"Dear Santa,

My family is very poor, so this year I don't want any presents. Please could you just send me £20 so I can give it to my parents?

Love Kevin".

Touched, the postman searches his pockets, wh...

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A prison guard gives Bill Cosby and opportunity...

After several brutal years in prison, Bill Cosby is approached by a prison guard who presents him with what seems like a great opportunity.

"Bill," he says, "you've demonstrated good behavior in here for the past couple years despite all the harassment from the other inmates. I know it must n...

So my niece asked me if they have to swim to get in the Navy.

I couldn't figure it out, but I guessed she thought about it after my nephew declared that he was going into the Marines and stole her crayons.

My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like she was special...

...so I got her a helmet and a box of crayons!

What's an artist's favorite fruit?

Crayon-berries

Sorry

Why did the elephant paint itself lots of different colors.

So that it could hide in the crayon box. Courtesy of my 4 y/o niece.

I was eating an orange this morning, but it tasted funny...

so I put it back in the crayon box!

I had a package delivered

And it was covered in drool and crayon.

That's the last time I pay for a special delivery.

People are like a crayons

The white ones are useless.

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A firefighter, a Native American, and a soldier are in a plane...

...flying over the US. They aren't up very high and so the windows are open (ignore the unscientific logic of this, it's a joke). They've been in there quite some time, and the firefighter starts getting bored. He pulls out his extra hat and drops it out the window just to see what will happen.
...

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