I found out why nurses carry red crayons...

In case they have to draw blood.

What do you call a crayon that looks like a strawberry?

A cranberry.

What did the paper say to the crayon when he found out that the crayon was pregnant?

Well color me surprised!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went on the sex offender registry and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area, and sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote the letters in crayon.

I quit my job as a crayon artist yesterday.

It wasn't all it was chalked up to be.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the hen share her crayons with the rooster?

So the cock could doodle too

I bought my grandchildren some crayons. I have to say...

... they make my kin scrawl.

They laughed at my crayon drawings...

I laughed at their chalk outlines.

I heard in the news that thay've found harmful materials in cosmetics and childrens crayons, but in the defense of the big corporations...

They're doing asbestos they can.

When our little girl was sick in hospital we bought her a lifetime supply of crayons.

It cost $3.

What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common?

The whites are useless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No matter how many crayons you eat

If you paint with your poop it’s always going to come out looking like shit

I knew giving my kid crayons was a terrible idea.

The writing was on the wall!

Where do crayons go on vacation?

Color-ado

Where does a crayon go on vacation?

Color-ado. My seven year old just told me this one.

Crayons are just like M&Ms....

They taste the same no matter what colour they are.

My niece stabbed me with a red crayon today...

It drew blood

Fill out job applications in crayon...

...and if you don’t get hired, just blame it on your color.

What's the worst part about an unexpected box of Crayons?

It's out of the blue.

I hated eating my greens in school when I was a kid

They always tasted worse than the other crayons

What did the White crayon say to the Black crayon?

We make a GRAY team!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On Christmas Eve, a postman is collecting letters from the post box when he comes across a letter addressed to Father Christmas

Intrigued, he opens it, to find, scrawled in orange crayon, the words

"Dear Santa,

My family is very poor, so this year I don't want any presents. Please could you just send me £20 so I can give it to my parents?

Love Kevin".

Touched, the postman searches his pockets, wh...

After Trump changes course of hurricane with a sharpie

House approves budget of 12 crayons for border wall

What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

So my niece asked me if they have to swim to get in the Navy.

I couldn't figure it out, but I guessed she thought about it after my nephew declared that he was going into the Marines and stole her crayons.

People are like a crayons

The white ones are useless.

I just can't draw blood

With this orange crayon.


It isn't sharp enough.

Little Johnny's parents are concerned about his school art work.

Everything he brings home is black or brown. They take him to a psychologist to see if he is having some issues. The psychologist wants to see him at work; gives him some paper and a new box of crayons.

Johnny says "Cool. At school the only crayons we have left are black and brown."

Pencil Box Kingdom

Who's the king of the pencil box?

The ruler.

What's the kingdom's most important discovery?

Pencillin.

What is the national sport?

Erasing.

What's the national motto?

Keep calm, Crayon.

Who are their discriminated minority?

The whites....

A prison guard gives Bill Cosby and opportunity...

After several brutal years in prison, Bill Cosby is approached by a prison guard who presents him with what seems like a great opportunity.

"Bill," he says, "you've demonstrated good behavior in here for the past couple years despite all the harassment from the other inmates. I know it must n...

My wife said she wanted to feel special this Valentines Day.

So I bought her a helmet and some crayons.

My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like she was special...

...so I got her a helmet and a box of crayons!

What's an artist's favorite fruit?

Crayon-berries

Sorry

Why did the elephant paint itself lots of different colors.

So that it could hide in the crayon box. Courtesy of my 4 y/o niece.

I was eating an orange this morning, but it tasted funny...

so I put it back in the crayon box!

A firefighter, a Native American, and a soldier are in a plane...

...flying over the US. They aren't up very high and so the windows are open (ignore the unscientific logic of this, it's a joke). They've been in there quite some time, and the firefighter starts getting bored. He pulls out his extra hat and drops it out the window just to see what will happen.
...

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