UPJOKE
drawscribbledrawingtracedelineatedescribesketchsketcherpencilcrayoncoloring bookdipsyerasercartoonscrawl

Doodle Jokes

Why didn't the 4 year old trust her doodle?

It was a little sketchy.

Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"...

Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"

A Golden Retriever mixed with a Poodle is called a Golden Doodle.

Aren’t you glad they didn’t call it a Poo Retriever?

Quack a doodle doo

A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

She said, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anyt...

Google Doodles

Four people are sitting at a bar. A native American, a trucker, a business woman, and a google employee walks up to these people, and asks them:

“Do any of you know of an important problem facing our society? If so, then we can make a doodle of it and put it on our search homepage to raise aw...

Yankee Doodle: *sticks feather in cap* This is called macaroni

Yankee Doodle's friend: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about you.

What's DoodleBob's favourite drink?

Mi hoy LaCroix

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the horny hen say?

Any cock’ll doodle do!!

*courtesy of my 62 year old roommate*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the cartoonist from Massachusetts that only uses semen in work.

His name is Yankee Doodle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the rooster that draws pictures of poop?

The cock will doodle doo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yankee Doodle can use other names too

Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'

Adolf Hitler went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a rooster drawing a doodle?

Cock-a-doodle-do!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

One says cock-a-doodle-do and the other says any cock will do

I was making a mocha in the barn

when I spilled some hot chocolate mix. I used my fingers to turn the mess into a rough picture of my pet rooster.

Shortly thereafter, the rooster himself strolled by, looked at my sketch and made a cocoa doodle too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a female chicken that goes "cock-a-doodle-doo"?

A lesbi-hen

What do you call a chicken's sidewalk drawing?

A chalk-a-doodle-do!

(Credit: My 6 year old daughter who makes up jokes while we're driving. Proud parent moment, she is getting to be one of the best pun-slingers I know)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From my 6 year old son.

Why did the rooster sit on the toilet?

He had to cock-a-doodle-doo-doo.

I drew my dog while I was on a boring phone call and I'm really proud of it!

It's a golden doodle.

Cute repartee from "Dr. Katz"

The good doctor is between clients, and Laura, the administrative assistant, walks into his office. Dr. Katz is lying on his patients' couch and this surprises her.

"I've just never seen you on the couch before," she says.

"Well," Dr. Katz says, "I was just in a reflective mood, and ...

What do you call a drawing of a laughing cookie?

A snicker-doodle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An artistic chicken

A guy walks into a bar with a chicken under his arm and orders a beer. "Hey, you can't bring a live chicken into the bar," the bartender admonishes him. "But this is a famous chicken. She can actually draw beautiful portraits of anyone," the guy tells the bartender. So the bartender asks for a demon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the hen share her crayons with the rooster?

So the cock could doodle too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny is in class giving a test.

He gets done with it way before everyone else, and now gets to sit in silence while everyone else gets done with theirs. Having nothing else to do, he idly begins doodling on the corner of his paper to kill time, and when the time's up, he hands his paper in with everyone else.

Later during t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the contrarian rooster say?

Cockle-Doodle-Don't.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chickens don’t sext

But they might give you a cock a doodle.

What does a patriotic chicken say?

Yankee doodle doo!

I'll see myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes Jackson Pollock would make paintings by ejaculating all over the canvas.

Whaddaya know, the cock could doodle too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman stops at a farm for the night

During a long road trip, a businessman spots a farm with a sign out front advertising rooms to rent for the night. The businessman decides to stop for the night.

The farmer shows the man to his room and says "I hope you don't mind getting up early, as I have three roosters who all crow about ...

What do you call a cross between a rooster and a rabbit?

A hop a doodle doo!

Courtesy of my 9yr old daughter

Aerosmith

According to fellow band members, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler handles a pen very femininely. Rumour has it he doodles like a lady.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw a dog in the park this morning that was a cross between a cockerpoo and a labradoodle.

A cocker doodle poo, if you will.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three criminals rob a bank and make their getaway,

They are pursued by the police all the way to the countryside. The three criminals speed into a farm where they split up to hide. The police are close behind them.

The first criminal hides in the pigpen. The police go inside the pen where they hear the sound of something moving. "Oink Oink." ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A clam and a rooster meet up for a date.

Cockle do? Cock a doodle do!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call two roosters having a fight?

A Cock-a-Doodle-Duel!

What are Wolverine's favorite type of cookie?

SNIKT-doodles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Yoda were to do a Chicken impression...

If Yoda were to do a Chicken impression and say Cock-a-doodle-doo. Would he be asking someone to draw a penis?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor farmers

Farmers are having an awful time at the moment in Ireland. No grants, no profit, just terrible.

John: "Well Tom how are things, how's the farming?"
Tom: "Bad John, I think I'm going to switch from milking cows to raising cocks"
John: "Why is that?"
Tom: "Well farmers need the cocks t...

Once upon a time three guys went hiking

By nightfall they ran out of food they all notice that there's one slice of bologna left, so they all decided go to sleep for the night and whoever wakes up the next morning with the best dream will get the last slice of bologna.

The next morning came and all the guys woke up, so the first g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokeception

A chicken is crossing the road late at night just outside a closing bar when he sees a rabbi, an atheist and a priest walk up to the bar. The bartender is just closing up when he sees the group approach his door. The rabbi goes first and knocks on the door.
Rabbi: "Knock Knock"
Bartender: "Who...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

The man who cross breeds labradors and poodles will be adequate for the job at hand.

The labradoodle dude'll do.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three thieves enter a warehouse full of crates...

Three thieves enter a warehouse full of crates, just as they were being chased by policemen who chanced upon them breaking into a jewelry shop. Now, the warehouse was for various farm produce, and sounds of farm animals still alive in the crates could be heard from some of them.

The first of ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.