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What did the horny hen say?

Any cock’ll doodle do!!

*courtesy of my 62 year old roommate*

Google Doodles

Four people are sitting at a bar. A native American, a trucker, a business woman, and a google employee walks up to these people, and asks them:

“Do any of you know of an important problem facing our society? If so, then we can make a doodle of it and put it on our search homepage to raise aw...

Quack a doodle doo

A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

She said, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anyt...

Why didn't the 4 year old trust her doodle?

It was a little sketchy.

Yankee Doodle: *sticks feather in cap* This is called macaroni

Yankee Doodle's friend: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about you.

I drew my dog while I was on a boring phone call and I'm really proud of it!

It's a golden doodle.

Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"...

Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"

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What do you call a doodling chicken?

Cock-a-doodle-too!

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My friend said that my haircut makes me look like a rooster

I said it’s a cock-a-doodle do.

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Three criminals rob a bank and make their getaway,

They are pursued by the police all the way to the countryside. The three criminals speed into a farm where they split up to hide. The police are close behind them.

The first criminal hides in the pigpen. The police go inside the pen where they hear the sound of something moving. "Oink Oink." ...

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What do you call a rooster drawing a doodle?

Cock-a-doodle-do!

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A redhead, a brunette and a blonde are escaping prison...

They come across a farm and decide to hide among the animals in a desperate attempt to conceal themselves.
The police show up and find the redhead within the chicken coop. “Squawk, cock-a-doodle-do,” she cries.
Next, they find the brunette hiding among the cows in their pens. “Moo!” She lows, ...

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What do you call a female chicken that goes "cock-a-doodle-doo"?

A lesbi-hen

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Yankee Doodle can use other names too

Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'

Adolf Hitler went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'

What do you call a drawing of a laughing cookie?

A snicker-doodle

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whats the difference between a rooster and a hooker

one says cock-a-doodle-doo, and the other says any-cock-will-do

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What did the contrarian rooster say?

Cockle-Doodle-Don't.

The man who cross breeds labradors and poodles will be adequate for the job at hand.

The labradoodle dude'll do.

What form of art is very popular among college kids?

Ramen doodles

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What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

One goes cock-a-doodle-do whilst the other goes any-cockle-do

What do you call a chicken's sidewalk drawing?

A chalk-a-doodle-do!

(Credit: My 6 year old daughter who makes up jokes while we're driving. Proud parent moment, she is getting to be one of the best pun-slingers I know)

Once upon a time three guys went hiking

By nightfall they ran out of food they all notice that there's one slice of bologna left, so they all decided go to sleep for the night and whoever wakes up the next morning with the best dream will get the last slice of bologna.

The next morning came and all the guys woke up, so the first g...

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Why did the hen share her crayons with the rooster?

So the cock could doodle too

What do you call a cross between a rooster and a rabbit?

A hop a doodle doo!

Courtesy of my 9yr old daughter

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Chickens don’t sext

But they might give you a cock a doodle.

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Little Johnny is in class giving a test.

He gets done with it way before everyone else, and now gets to sit in silence while everyone else gets done with theirs. Having nothing else to do, he idly begins doodling on the corner of his paper to kill time, and when the time's up, he hands his paper in with everyone else.

Later during t...

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A businessman stops at a farm for the night

During a long road trip, a businessman spots a farm with a sign out front advertising rooms to rent for the night. The businessman decides to stop for the night.

The farmer shows the man to his room and says "I hope you don't mind getting up early, as I have three roosters who all crow about ...

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Sometimes Jackson Pollock would make paintings by ejaculating all over the canvas.

Whaddaya know, the cock could doodle too.

What does a patriotic chicken say?

Yankee doodle doo!

I'll see myself out

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Saw a dog in the park this morning that was a cross between a cockerpoo and a labradoodle.

A cocker doodle poo, if you will.

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HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

Aerosmith

According to fellow band members, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler handles a pen very femininely. Rumour has it he doodles like a lady.

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What do you call two roosters having a fight?

A Cock-a-Doodle-Duel!

What are Wolverine's favorite type of cookie?

SNIKT-doodles

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Poor farmers

Farmers are having an awful time at the moment in Ireland. No grants, no profit, just terrible.

John: "Well Tom how are things, how's the farming?"
Tom: "Bad John, I think I'm going to switch from milking cows to raising cocks"
John: "Why is that?"
Tom: "Well farmers need the cocks t...

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Three thieves enter a warehouse full of crates...

Three thieves enter a warehouse full of crates, just as they were being chased by policemen who chanced upon them breaking into a jewelry shop. Now, the warehouse was for various farm produce, and sounds of farm animals still alive in the crates could be heard from some of them.

The first of ...

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If Yoda were to do a Chicken impression...

If Yoda were to do a Chicken impression and say Cock-a-doodle-doo. Would he be asking someone to draw a penis?

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Jokeception

A chicken is crossing the road late at night just outside a closing bar when he sees a rabbi, an atheist and a priest walk up to the bar. The bartender is just closing up when he sees the group approach his door. The rabbi goes first and knocks on the door.
Rabbi: "Knock Knock"
Bartender: "Who...

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