Some Yank had the audacity to say us Texans were dumb for not having Snow Tires. Bless their heart.

We may not have as much experience as y'all Yanks when it comes to snow, but after tinkering with it a couple minutes I think all of us Texans can agree to try and make a tire out of snow is a pretty dumb idea.


We'll keep our tires made of rubber, thanks.

My local gas station started charging money just to put air in your tires

When I commented that this had been free for decades, the attendant just looked at me and said "that's inflation for you".

I'm sure everybody knows what brand of tires Van Gogh used.

Good Ear, of course.

My SUV needs all 4 tires replaced at a total cost of $800. That's more than the stimulus they gave us and so the wife freaked out a little.

I told her that it's no big deal and we can just rent a SUV for a day and it would only cost $50.

She said I was an idiot and that we would need an SUV for more then 24 hours.

Then I explained to her that it's more then enough time for me to swap the tires.

There was a truckload of tires on the interstate and they all fell out

It was highway rubbery!

Sometimes I like to think back to when my dad used to put me in tires and roll me down the hill

...those were the Goodyears.

A Man Has Been Stealing Tires From Police Cars

The police have been working tire-lessly to catch him

There was once a blind finn, deaf dane and a swede, who was in a wheelchair.

They found a bottle whose spirit promised everyone a wish.

The finn wished first, and soon yelled: I CAN SEE I CAN SEE!

then the dane wished, and soon yelled: I CAN HEAR I CAN HEAR!

Then the swede wished, and soon he yelled: NEW TIRES NEW TIRES!

My mechanic tried to scam me because he didn’t think I knew about cars

I took my car to get an oil change and they were like “would you like us to rotate your tires?” I was like “Ummm. I rotated them a bunch on the way over jackass!”

I went to Walmart today , and I was there for literally 5 minutes. When I came out there was a state trooper writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.

So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!

So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face...

I remember my childhood quite fondly, when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.

Those were the Good Years.

Favorite “i just flew back from jokes”

Example:

I just flew back from Chicago and boy are my arms tired

I just flew back from a transformers convention and buy are my arms tires

Mechanic: "When were your tires last rotated?"

Me: "On the way here, silly."

What do you call a car with tires?

Tired.

It used to be free to fill your tires with air now it costs $1.50!

Now that's what you call inflation!

Two guys decide that they'd go out drinking on the night before their exam.

Wasted on the night before, the two arrive at the university well after the exam ended. They went straight to the professor, saying that they couldn't take the test because one of the car's tires had gone flat. Surprisingly, the professor allows them and promptly tells them to come back tomorrow....

When I was a kid we would get some big tires, then get inside and roll down the hill.

Those were the Goodyears.

Did you hear about the table made out of tires?

It probably took a good year or two to make it

3 little pigs

A wolf goes to the house of the first pig, which was made of straw. "Come out you pig, or I will huff and puff and blow your straw house down".

The pig stays put and the wolf starts huffing and puffing. Frightened now, the pig sneaks out the back door just as his straw house starts to blow ...

What do motivated tires say?

We move.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of fucking asshole would order the Secret Service to remove the Goodyear tires from the Presidential limo?

Nevermind.

a man has been stealing tires from the cops

I guess you could say the cops are tirelessly looking for him.

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