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Complaints Jokes

Customer complaints

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, “Are all of those kids yours?” He replies, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”

A construction foreman hired a new guy and started getting complaints about him almost immediately...

He pulls the new hire into his office and asks him why he keeps trying to unzip everyone's pants. The new guys says "That's what you hired me for!" The forman says "I said I needed a jack "OF" all trades!"

A man goes to the doctor with a litany of complaints...

After a thorough examination, the doctor comes out to speak to his wife. "There's nothing too serious with your husband, he just needs to reduce his stress. Just don't complain to him, make him some nice meals, give him massages, and make love to him daily and he will be fine". The wife returns to h...

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A woman goes to see the doctor with complaints of a low sex drive.

She tells the Dr “My husband wants me to get medicine so I’ll want sex as much as he does”, Doc tell her no problem he will give her the same hormone pills the Olympic weightlifting team uses . He confidently explains, “all of them want to have sex multiple times a day”

2 months later the wom...

Why did a boulder call the complaints office at Hollywood?

Because Dwayne Johnson took its place.

A study by the Bureau of Consumer Protection has determined that the most common first name on consumer complaints is actually "Sharon."

My kindergarten teacher was right. Sharon is Karen.

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A Boy giving Complaints.

Kid: mom, some kid is calling me gay

mama: Hit him, in the face.

Kid: I cant

Mom: Why?

Kid: Cause, he's so Cute!!

"We've had complaints about you," said my boss.

"What are they?" I asked.

"They're what people make when they aren't happy with something," my boss replied.

Why doesn't anyone listen to complaints by Furries?

Because they only have furs twirled problems.

Customer complaints

A 20 something gentleman is at the airport and tries to buy a 15 tickets. She looks behind the man to see 14 children behind him. She asks if they were all his. He says no that he works for Trojan and they were all customer complaints.

So Hawaii recently made a new law in regards to noise and the increase of noise complaints due to an uprising in loud laughter.

They now have to use a low ha

Mod Announcement: Due to complaints from our fair-haired readers, blonde jokes are no longer allowed...

...because they couldn't read them.

I got complaints about my dog chasing people on bikes

I didnt know my dog could ride a bike

I didn't quite get my girlfriend's complaints about my passion for Grease songs...

So I asked her to tell me more, tell me more.

Lost my job at the HR department for signing the complaints letters with my initials.

Apparently it's because my name is Tommy Lee Davis Richards.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

World War 2 fans have their own set of complaints....

"I can't believe Hitler blew an 11 country lead!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After years of complaints, a mother finally gets sick of cooking dinner.

She makes a new family rule: whoever complains about dinner has to cook the next night. After a few rounds, dinner duty falls to the husband. But by now, everyone is sick of having to cook, so they all decide to stop complaining. Weeks go by. The dad is sick of cooking, but nobody complains about hi...

The U.S. postal services came out with a new Donald Trump stamp. Although they received many complaints that they were defective!

After polling the public on how the stamp is defective, they figured out nothing was wrong with the stamp at all!

The americans were just not spitting on the right side!

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,...

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Little Johnnie is in the living room playing with his train set…

when his mom overheard him in the kitchen yelling “alright you sonsabitches! Everyone headed westbound to Memphis, get your asses to platform number 9! And for all you motherfuckers going eastbound to Raleigh, head your big asses to platform number 10!”

Mom comes in fuming…

“JOHNNIE!! ...

BMW Recall

In an unprecedent move and after many complaints from non BMW owners, BMW has recalled their entire fleet of vehicles to assess the electrical fault that prevents indicators from flashing...

The year is 1804 and a young man enlists on a ship..

..his first voyage is to last 3 years, and even though the work is hard the young man takes to it like a fish in water.

After only a few days he is running the riggin like an old hand, he swabs the decks without complaint and spends his free time in amicable companionship playing cards or tel...

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Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.

It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?

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The Japanese invented a thief catching robot.

After running successful lab trials they decided to test it. After deploying in Tokyo the robot caught 35 thieves in 24 hours.

The news Broke out.

Much Impressed, the Brits ordered the robot for themselves. After deploying in London the robot busted 65 thieves under 8 hours.

The...

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Sex frog

[Long]

A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).

The girl excitedly l...

I purchased some noise canceling headphones...

I thought people would find them annoying but so far I haven't heard any complaints.

A businessman was flying on a plane surrounded by hundreds of kids. A lady went and sat down next to him.

"Are these all your kids?", she asked.

The man replied, "No. I work at a condom factory, and these are all the complaints."

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A toothpaste factory had a problem.

They sometimes shipped empty boxes
without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the
buyers and distributors. Understanding how important the relationship with
them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to
hire an external engineering ...

A man with no arms is homeless and looking for a job.

He goes to the pastor in his local church one morning and says:
"Pastor, I am in desperate need of work. Is there any kind of job you can give me, despite my obvious disability?"
The pastor, with a cheeky grin, points to the churches bell tower and says:
"You see that bell up in the tower? ...

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Late Night

A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in.
After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."
The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. ...

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Me penis is called FedEx.

Because my package is beaten to a pulp, handled poorly and sometimes, complaints that it doesn't deliver at all.

A gorgeous blonde woman steps out of a taxi, banging her head quite hard against the door frame.

As she stands holding her hand to her scalp, a gentleman, who'd seen it happen, approaches and asks, "Excuse me Miss, is your head okay?!"

The blonde replies, "Well, I haven't had any recent complaints."

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The King and the Fucker on the bridge

Once upon a time there lived a king who wanted to test the loyalty of his subjects. He raised heavy taxes on his people and demanded high rent for the land.

There were no complaints. None.

The king summoned one of his officers and instructed him to collect one gold coin from everyone p...

Turns out having Rick Astley work at a video rental shop is a bad idea.

We had a lot of complaints of him never giving anyone Up.

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New Apple Product Announcement: The iBra

Apple announced a new product: a bra that can store and play music. The iBra. The product is being praised as a step toward better relations between men and women. It is intended to address the complaints of women about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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Adam was sitting under the apple tree in the Garden of Eden.

He was looking very content, smoking a cigarette. God saw this and appeared before Adam. God asks Adam "So, how do you like Eve?" Adam replies "Eve is just great, thank you so much for creating her." God then asks "Do you like the vagina? Any complaints, I spent a lot of time trying to get it r...

When an unpopular President completed his presidency, he wanted a special postage stamp issued with his picture on it.

He stressed that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released and the former President was pleased. But within a couple of days of the release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and he was furious. So he ordered an investigatio...

Mr. Green is reading a newspaper by the pool.

A lifeguard walks up and quietly says "Mr. Green there have been some complaints by the other guests."

Mr. Green puts down his paper. "Well I'm sure there isn't much of an issue."

The lifeguard continues, "it appears someone has been peeing in the pool."

"Everyone pees in the po...

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A 35 year old virgin, fed up with constant dating failures,

goes to see his doctor, for the umpteenth time. Fed up with the constant complaints, his doctor finally relents.

"Ok ok. There's a new guy in town, from Hong Kong. Chinese. Relationship specialist. I think he's a quack but it's worth a try." Says his doc and gives him the address.

Th...

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