My wife said we need to sit down and talk about our future, and I was like 'Yeah gonna be awesome! Flying Cars, Colonies on Mars!, Self fixing robots it's gonna be amazing!!'

Not what she meant, am now single.

Why do ant colonies never get sick?

They’re full of anty-bodies!

Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?

Cause *truants* don't go to school!

(I came up with this right now)

In the year 2045 Elon is tired of importing ice-cream from Earth to the Martian colonies.

The next day he puts a group of dairy cows on a rocket to Mars.

But inter-planetary customs officers make him hold the rocket in orbit while they inspect the cows. Earth leaders don't want to lose the tax revenue from exporting ice-cream and are looking for a reason to reposes his cattle. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the 1700’s in the New England colonies...

The Native American big chief was very ill, and their medicine would absolutely not aid the Big Chief.

So a group of Native Americans set out to ask the Englishmen for some medicine. They explained, “Big Chief sick, Big Chief no shit”. The Englishman gave them a light medicine and sent them ...

Elementary school students are learning about the 13 colonies

Teacher: Massachusetts is in New England

Student: what’s new England?

England: *walks in* nothin much what’s new with you

When England settled her colonies how come America got Christian zealots and Australia got convicts?

Australia got first pick.

What do you call the ant in the colony who trades with other ant colonies for resources?

Import-ant

TIL King George III had a strong distaste for The Colonies

In fact he found them revolting.

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