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Colon Cancer Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mom had colon cancer

now she has a semi-colon.



She gets mad when I tell this joke but I shouldn't be surprised, she doesn't take a lot of shit.

I had colon cancer and yesterday, they had to remove a part of it

Now I just have a ;

It’s only colon cancer if it’s from Colon, Argentina

Otherwise it’s just sparkling cancer

I recently had a cancer scare. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

But thankfully it was only semicolon cancer

What do you call a cancer patient who has colon cancer, but only a little bit?

A semicolon cancer patient.

Turns out I have colon cancer. I'm getting part of it removed tomorrow.

All I'll have left is a ;

What's worse than finding half a maggot in your apple?

Colon cancer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did the Grammar Nazi die?

Colon Cancer.

My English professor had a colonoscopy...

Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.

Your morbid joke for the day.

A man visits his doctor as for the past few weeks he has been feeling incredibly ill. After numerous tests and examinations his doctor finally breaks the news about his results.


"I'm afraid there is no easy way to say this... You have terminal colon cancer. It was left unchecked for so lo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish Guy, a German Guy, and a Black Guy walk into a bar...

The three of them sit down and order a round of drinks. After awhile, they notice this extremely old man sitting at the end of the bar and one of them says "Wow! That man looks so old, he might be Jesus!"

Another guy calls the old man over and says "We want to buy your a beer. You look so old...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad's dad joke a few moments ago

My dad is a Navy Vietnam vet who is about to be a retired GM electrical engineer. He is retiring against his will because he has had three strokes, colon cancer, a pulmonary embolism, necrotic esophagus, renal failure, pneumonia, basically a medical shitstorm and he survived it all. In the process, ...

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