What do you call a blonde woman with 2 brain cells?

...pregnant!

Doctors say Rudy Giuliani's white blood cells count was low

but he’s demanding a recount.

So a KGB inspector goes to visit a Siberian prison to check on the inmates in their cells.

First he goes to the first cell and asks the inmate "why were you arrested?" The inmate replies him "My watch was always 10 minutes late and thus i was always late for work so they assumed that i was late because i was planning a coup".
He then proceeds to go to the second cell and asks the inmat...

2 blood cells met and fell in love

Alas, it was all in vein!

Two sperm cells

Two sperm cells are swimming together.

One asks the other: "hey, did you just fart"?

"No", the other replies.

"Then I guess the idiot came in the wrong hole."

Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?

They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Science has found that honeybee venom helps kill aggressive breast cancer cells.

They've updated their name reflecting their new job to Boobees.

Two red blood cells are talking to two platelets...

One red blood cell says "I heard you two finally tied the clot!"

The other says "Coagulations!"

There's a woman in the park sells batteries.

She sells C cells by the seesaw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The human sperm cell contains around 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25 ml and takes 5 seconds. Therefore the average bandwidth of the human penis is about 1687 TB/s

I know, I know that’s a lot of information to swallow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do inmates never have sex?

Because they're In-Cells

What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer?

One sells watches and the other watches cells

My mum has a small shop near the beach, where you can buy batteries ...

She sells C cells by the seashore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the egg and the sperm start a business?

Because sex cells.

What are the cow's cells made of?

Moolecules

A bunch of inmates have been in the same cells for years

A newcomer is escorted to a cell by three heavily armed guards. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he notices he has a cellmate. All of a sudden, someone shouts, "71!" Everybody in the prison starts cracking up.

The newcomer asks his cellmate why they were all laughing. He responds, "After a...

A man is sent to jail and meets his cell mate...

The cell mate asks him what's he in for and the man replies "grand theft auto." The cell mate chuckles and then yells "twenty seven!!"

All the other prisoners in their other cells all laugh. The man asks what just happened here. The cell mate tells him, "we all just tell the same jokes over a...

How do blonds brain cells die?

Alone

What do you call sperm's cells race?

Survival of the fetus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An antivaxxer walks into a store selling brain cells..

There were a wide variety on display

Doctor's brain -$100

Engineer's brain -$125

Normal brain - $75

Anti vaxxer's's brain- $1000

he was quite amused and asked the shop keeper.. "So how come antivaxxer's brain is worth so much?". The shopkeeper replied "because I ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the company use chromosomes in their commercial?

Because sex cells!

Three prisoners break out of their jail cell.

There is only one prison guard, and he knows he is outnumbered. Instead of trying to take the prisoners down, he shouts “Hey! I don’t think you should do this. You should go back to your cells and wait out your sentence.“ The prisoners laugh, but the guard keeps talking. He gives them every reason w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Don’t let COVID dominate you” might be the Trumpiest quote ever

My bitch ass was sitting here letting my cells replicate without even asking my permission.

TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".

I guess you can call it a typo.

Three Russian prisoners sit in neighboring cells in the Gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accu...

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