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Large Intestine Jokes

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Why did the zombie only eat large intestines?

Because his diet is pretty shit

What do you call it when someone gets part of their large intestine removed due to malignant bowel cancer?

A semi colon

Half a large intestine...

...would be a semicolon.

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Sometime I get so sick of my large intestine.

It always gives me shit.

It took guts to buy the new iPhone X

Specifically, both my kidneys, my pancreas, and my large intestine.

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New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

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The trip to Home Depot

I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one.

You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to crap yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point o...

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