"I finally understand how cloning works!"

"That makes two of us."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Initially I was proud of my participation in a trial for cloning humans...

...but now, I don't think I can live with myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cloning

A rich assholish guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've decided that I'm going to have myself cloned," he smugly tells the bartender. "Well," the bartender replies. "Wouldn't that be just like you...."

I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great,

I love being my own boss.

My friends job involves cloning the DNA of trains.

But I just call him a genetic engineer.

A father and a son were talking about the possibility of cloning each other. The son says, “Umm, I don’t know about that. I don’t really fully understand what it does.” The father looks at him and says..

“Well son, that makes two of us.”

If I don’t perfect Human Cloning...

...I won’t be able to live with myself

ELI5: Is human cloning possible?

SCIENTIST: Eli, I have 4 people I’d like you to meet...

I was double majoring in cloning and hide-and-seek

But I had to take a year off to find myself.

Did you hear about the cannibal who perfected the art of cloning?

He's so full of himself.

Stop Cloning Around

A mad scientist managed to clone himself, but something went wrong. His clone would repeatedly stick his head out the fourth-story window, and curse at people below. The scientist was at a loss, and deeply embarrassed by his clone's behavior. After two weeks of pleading and threatening his clone, th...

I am finally ready to accept applications for my deer cloning business...

It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.

Now that Bob's retired from the cloning lab...

he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Just thought up this one: How did the cloning subject feel?

Beside himself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Therapist: You are addicted to using the cloning machine

Us: No we aren’t

There are many already outstanding reasons not to leave one's automated cloning machine out in the forest...

...but the obvious bears repeating.

I hear North Korea is coming out with some new cloning technology...

I can't wait to meet Kim Jong-deux.

The man that invented human cloning has died .

The mourners will probably be beside themselves at the funeral.

When I finally worked out the secret to cloning...

...I was beside myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex.

It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs.

I finally finished working on my cloning machine and I can't believe it worked.

I mean, I was really beside myself.

If cloning ever becomes real, I want 3 triceratops.

I even already have names for them. Oneceratops, Twoceratops, and Jeff.

A scientist finally found a way to clone humans by first cloning himself.

Physically the clone was a perfect match, however it had mental problems. All day long it would curse and shout vulgarities and insults ad nauseum. At first it was interesting but as time went on the behavior worsened. Day in and day out he would spew an endless stream of obscenity that could mak...

I wanted to be the first person to invent a feline cloning machine...

But everybody said it was nothing but a copycat invention.

Did you hear about the man who spent his whole life trying to perfect cloning technology?

When it finally happened, he was beside himself.

Why were the two Chinese scientists having trouble cloning a caucasian?

Because two Wongs can't make a white.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boyfriend moving in...

Him: Can I set up a cloning machine in the basement?

Me: Sure, make yourself at home.

Han Solo is chilling in his room when suddenly the light goes out.

He tries to fix the bulb, but after an hour of laborious effort, he gives up.

He heads over to Yoda's place to see if he can help. As Yoda opens the door, he spots a huge machine with flashing lights, beeping in the middle of the room.

"What's this?" he asks Yoda.

"A cloning m...

I was thrown out of my cloning exam

for copying the kid next to me.

An eccentric professor brings a cloning machine into class to illustrate a difficult concept...

One student, gesturing to the demonstration, decides to reach out to his overachieving friend.
"I just don't understand what that thing does."
His friend, clearly bothered by the situation, snaps back, "that makes two of us!"

I remember when my cloning project failed.

A part of me died that day.

Bill Nye cloned himself with the help of Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Unfortunately, something went wrong in the cloning process and resulted in the clone being pure evil. As soon as he was released from the cloning vat, the evil clone killed the good Bill Nye and escaped. Much later, after hunting him for years, Neil deGrasse Tyson finally caught up with the evil clo...

Did you hear about the scientist who accidentally tripped into his cloning machine?

He was really beside himself after that one.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.