A cigar smoker bought several hundred expensive cigars

And had them insured against fire. After he'd smoked them all, he filed a claim, pointing out that the cigars had been destroyed by fire. The company refused to pay, and the man sued. A judge ruled that because the insurance company had agreed to insure against fire, it was legally responsible. The ...

A man hasn’t been to church for a long while and decides he’d better go to confession before starting to go again. When he enters the confessional box he’s amazed to find that it’s got a bar lined with finest whiskeys and a huge array of the finest cigars.

As he’s looking at this in wonder, the priest comes in.

The man says, “Father, forgive me, it’s a long time since my last confession. I must say though, that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.

The priest says, “Get out,you idiot. You’re on my side.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sales guy rings the doorbell on a house, and the door is opened by a 12 year old, holding a glass of cognac and smoking a cigar

The sales guy is a bit stunned, but plows forward and asks, "Is your dad home?"

The kid replies, "What the fuck do you think?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hindu, a Muslim and a Sikh all die in a car accident.

When they reach the gates of Heaven, God apologises to them for their abrupt deaths and tells them that before deciding whether they will go to Heaven or Hell, God will grant each of them one wish and let them enjoy for a year.

"I have been a devout Hindu and never eaten meat. I would like to...

Googled 'how to light a cigar'...

and got 70 million matches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years…

One day he sees a beautiful woman in a swimsuit come ashore.

She says to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you had a drink?"

He replies "Ten years" and with that she reveals a bottle of whiskey from within her swimsuit, which the man starts drinking from.

She then asks, ...

A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.

“No, thanks" says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once, but I didn't like it".

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for a round of drinks.

"No, thanks" the plant manager replies. "You know, I tried alcohol on...

A 12 inch.....

Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar but he didn’t have a lighter. So, he asked his friend if he had one.

“I sure do,” he replied, and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a big 12-inch BIC lighter.

“WOW!” said his friend, “Where did you get that monster?”...

The Princess and the Frog

One day a Princess was walking in her private garden when she spotted a large frog sitting by the side of the pond, staring at her intensely. Having heard all the magical fairy stories, she approached the frog and asked: "Oh magical frog! Is it true that you will turn into a handsome prince if I kis...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Think you can do better?

A circus came to town, places an ad for an animal trainer in the local paper. Only two applicants showed up, a male and a female. The offer could be for one, so the best performer wins the job.

At first glance it appeared that the female was much better prepared because she came to the inter...

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led h...

I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars.

Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...

He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.

"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.

"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...

A postman is delivering a package as a 8 year old opens the door with a glass of whiskey in his hand and a big cigar in his mouth.

The postman is shocked : "Aren't your parents at home?"

The 8 year old : "Does it look so?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk guy walks into a bar...

A drunk man walks into the bar all messed up and says “Bartender, get me a drink quick!” The bartender says, “What’s your problem” The drunk mumbles, “Well I was standin on the corner, minding my business, all of a sudden, big truck came by and knocked my dong off into the gutter!” Bartender says, “...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kid walks in on his grandpa smoking a cigar.

Kid says "grandpa, can I have a cigar too?"

Grandpa asks "can your dick touch your asshole?

Kid says no so grandpa says "sorry, you're not old enough."

Week later kid sees grandpa drinking a beer and asks "can I drink a beer with you?

Grandpa replies "can your dick tou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny is walking down the street smoking a cigar

A man stops him and says "young man, how old are you?"
Little Johnny responds "6 years old"
The man, aghast, tells little johnny "that is far too young to be smoking; when did you pick up that vile habit!?!?"
Little Johnny furrows his brow for a moment, "Sometime after I got laid the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The head of an organized crime syndicate realized his accountant had been skimming money from him for years.

Unfortunately the accountant only spoke Russian. So the boss hired a Russian interpreter and busted into the accountant’s home.

He tells to the interpreter, “tell him I want to know where my money is, AND I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!!” The interpreter conveys the message in Russian and the acco...

Joe and Bob are sitting outside a cafe enjoying a couple cigars when a young boy walks out of the ice cream parlour right next door.

Joe says "see that kid over there, dumbest kid I ever met, watch this...." and he calls the kid over.

Joe puts 50 cents in one of his hands, and a dollar bill in the other and holds them both out to the boy. Joe says "which do you want, 50 cents, or a dollar?" The boy quickly snatches up the ...

My friend successfully guessed the first present I'd got him for his Cuban themed party, but not the second present.

Clothes but no cigar.

Confessional box joke, v funny pls do read

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photog...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My father in law just accidentally ruined my brother in law's cigar by sitting on it

Close butt, no cigar

Doctor to Patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

Another Lawyer Joke

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!"
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt lik...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was stranded alone on a desert island for 10 years

A beautiful woman in a skin-tight wetsuit washes up on shore and walks up to him. She asks, "How long has it been since you had a drink?"

"About ten years," the man says. The woman unzips her wetsuit a little at the neck, pulls out a flask, hands it to the man and he drinks deeply.

"H...

So there is this class in New York that teaches women how to smoke cigars, and the price per person is one-hundred dollars

The price to watch is two-hundred.

What is the popes's favorite cigar?

Holy Smokes

TIL; JFK bought a lifetime supply of Cuban cigars before he enacted the embargo.

The box of cigars lasted LBJ one week.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "G...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are called to investigate a murder at a quarry one day...

When they arrive at the scene of the crime, it's already been taped off and other investigators are there. Holmes and Watson push their way to the front as they typically do and start going to work.

"Holmes, look at this, what is it?" Watson asked.

"Why that's the butt end of a cigar o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a boy comes home from school and sees his dad on the porch drinking a whiskey.

The boy says: hey dad can I try some of that?
Dad replies: can your dick touch your asshole?
Boy says: no
Dad says: well then, you can’t have any

Next day, the boy comes home and sees his dad smoking a cigar on the porch.

The boy says: hey dad can I try some of that?
Da...

I just found out The Spice Girls were paid off by the tobacco industry to hide subliminal pro-smoking messages in their songs.

I couldn’t believe it, so I put on one of their records, and it made me really really really want a cig or cigar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

grandpa, can I have your cigar?

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler. the little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" The little boy answered no. Grandpa said "Then you're not old enough to hav...

What did the cheap cigar say to the bag of weed?

May I be blunt with you?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A father and son go fishing

While fishing the father cracks open a beer, the son says dad can I have a beer? The father asks can your Dick touch your asshole? “No” said the son, the father said you can’t have one then. A little while later the father lights up a cigar, the son asks dad, can I have a cigar? The father asks does...

A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon...

...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press.

Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Can I have a pull of your cigar, grandpa?

One day a little boy came out to the porch and saw his grandpa smoking. The little boy asked "can i have a pull of your cigar, grandpa?" The grandpa replied "Well Timmy, does your penis touch your ass?" The little boy thought for a second and said "No it doesn't." "Than you can't have any" said the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes and finds himself in hell

One day a man with many vices dies and finds himself in hell.

Wallowing in despair that his decisions in life have landed him in hell, he has a meeting with Satan.

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a l...

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars?

Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Police respond to a disturbance call at a house...

The cop hears loud music blaring inside and pounds on the door. A ten year old boy answers the door wearing flip flops, boxer shorts, and a sport coat There's chocolate smeared all over his face, and he's holding a beer in one hand and a cigar in the other.
Cop asks, "Are your parents home, youn...

A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar

A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar



So he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"




"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. '"Before I go to bed, I smoke a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandpa and Grandson are on the porch (Long)

Grandpa and grandson are on the porch. The grandpa is smoking a cigar. The grandson asks “ Grandpa, can I have a puff of your cigar?”

Grandpa replies “Well does your dick touch your asshole?”

The grandson is confused but replies “No.”

“Well then you can’t have a puff!”

...

Can a cigar box?

No, but a tin can.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a urologist’s office:

- Doc, I’ve been a faithful husband for 30 years. I love my wife, but the spark is gone and I haven’t even been able to get it up for a year now. Obviously, the missus is very upset about this. Please help.

- You amaze me! Have you ever heard of Viagra? Here, take some of these to try and co...

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.

She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answered the door.
She proclaimed, "I want to join your biker club." The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. ...

A guy in a bar is telling a joke to his friend

"John and his friends are playing 'how high can you throw a brick', the first kid had the brick in the air for 2 seconds, the 2nd one for 4, third one slipped and the brick touched the ground in less than one second, now it's John's turn, he throws the brick in the air aaaand it never drops"
...

Oh yeah, I REALLY hate cigars.

-Fidel Sarcastro

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The interviewer asked Kevin if he had any special skills not mentioned on his resume...

Kevin thought for a second and replied, "Well I do know an usual number of people in the world. Even celebrities." The interviewer played along and asked, "Alright. How about Tom Cruise?". Kevin chuckles and says, "Yep! Tom and I go way back actually". Figuring Kevin was just trying to look impressi...

My buddy took some amazing pictures of himself with a cigar, hanging out in a funhouse.

When I asked him how he did it, he said "It's all Smoke and Mirrors".

President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road

President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Trump told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees his driver staggering back...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Duck in the Bottle

A man is on a quest for true enlightenment. His travels led him to sit with the Dalai Lama.

Man: Sir, do you have the answer for enlightenment?

The religious figure walks away but comes back with a bottle and a duck.

He hands both to the man and tells him,

"The day yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A+ Book Reports on Titanic and Bill Clinton

The students at a local college were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton, and to write book reports. One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grandfather takes his grandson camping

They set up the tent and a fire and then his grandfather pulls out a beer.

The kid asks “hey grandpa can I try some of that?”

Grandpa says “can your dick touch your ass?”

Kid says “no”

Grandpa says “well you ain’t gettin none”

Grandpa pulls out a cigar and starts p...

Bill Gates dies and reaches the Pearly Gates....[Long]

Meets Saint Peter at the gates and he tells Bill, “because you brought computers, technology and helped humanity, we have decided to let you tour hell and after the tour, you get to decide if you want to stay there, or come into heaven”

“I get to choose?” Asked Bill

“Yes... But just re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Dale's last day as a postman

25 years he's been delivering the mail to the same neighborhood. When it was time to retire, he let everyone know ahead of time, that way if there was an issue with their mail, they new it would be a new letter carrier. As he made his way along his route, he found little going away gifts from some t...

A wealthy man met a beggar on the street.

The beggar pleaded to the wealthy man to give him a dollar to buy something to eat.

"You poor fellow," said the wealthy man. "Come with me and I'll buy you a drink."

"Actually, I don't drink. But I would like something to eat."

"Here, my friend. Take one of my Cuban cigars," the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of guys were playing a round of golf..

After 9 holes they stopped to have a cigar. So one of the guys opens his golf bag and pulls out 2 cigars and a great big lighter.

His friend asks him "Hey, where did you get such a big lighter?"

He responds "From my magic genie, of course!"

Of course his friend doesn't believe...

An English man, a French man, a Cuban Man and an Indian man are in a train carriage.

The French man takes out a bottle of very expensive wine, has one sip, and throws it out the window.

The English man says "why did you do that? " and the French man replies, "we have so many of these in my country they are practically worthless.

A few minutes later the Cuban man takes ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man dies and goes to Hell.

Satan greets him.

Hey. How's it going?

Not good. I just found out I'm in hell.

I know we have a bad reputation but it's not that bad. It's actually quite fun down here. Did you ever drink when you were alive?

Of course.

Well, Mondays, you can drink as much as you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a few jokes I loved as a kid

Like, there was this one where these three friends were out after it rained and had some bricks. They wanted to decide who was the strongest by seeing who could throw the bricks in the air but didn't have a way to measure the height so they decided that since it was muddy outside, they'd throw the b...

A man was standing at the bus stop.

Suddenly he saw a very fit-looking old man.
He went to the old man,and said-

Man-'Sir,you look very fit. What's the secret of your looking so fit and young?'

Old man-'I smoke 30 cigars a day.
I drink 4-5 bottles of vodka daily,and I am a serious drug-addict.
And I hate doin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[nsfw] A boy goes to his grandparents house.

Grandpa and the boy are sitting in the den watching tv. The grandpa takes a hit off of his cigar.

Boy: “can I try that grandpa”

Grandpa: “does your dick touch your asshole”

Boy: “no”

Grandpa: “well you can’t try it”

A couple hours go by and grandpa is drinking ...

Showing Off

An American, a Cuban, a Scotsman and a lawyer, were on a cruise ship. As they were standing on the deck, watching the waves and chatting, each one started showing off.
The Cuban took out a nice Cohiba cigar, lit it, took just one puff and tossed it into the sea. The other guys were flabbergasted....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Victoria's Secret Incident

I'm a detective and my day started off like every other. I woke up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and ate a slice of toast and a single sunny side up egg that my wife made. As soon as I made my way into the precinct the sheriff, Chett Bradley, walked up to me. "There's been an incident at a Victo...

An English Man, An Irish Man and a Scotchman are caught by cannibals.

The cannibals tell them they will all be skinned alive and turned into canoes and all. Of their insides eaten however, they have one last request before this happens.

The English man says "For my last request I want to have a cigar" the cannibals provide him with this and as soon as its fini...

Four politicians die in a car accident and they find themselves standing in front of St Peter who says he will give them the tour of heaven and hell and they can decide where they want to stay for all eternity...

Heaven is all people with halo's playing harps on clouds, singing, praying and generally praising God.

Then, a demon appears and takes them down to have a look at hell.

In hell, they meet all their old friends playing golf! They play a round, walk up to the 19th for champagne, fine win...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveling salesman is going door to door selling vaccum cleaners.

He goes up to one house, rings the bell and waits for an answer. The door opens and standing in front of him is a lil boy, who cannot be anymore than 7 years old. In one hand he's got a pint of beer and hanging out of his mouth is a lit cigar.

"Little boy, are your parents at home?" The sales...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jim and bob are working

Jim and bob are working for the same big international company. They get underpaid and the workload is huge. At some point during the friday lunch Jim just has enough and goes "That's it! I'm going to quit and I'll show them who's boss."

He stands up and like a mad bull rages towards the CEO ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two cops knock on a door.

A little lad opens it, he's about 10. Wearing his dad's dressing gown, a blond on either side of him. Glass of wine in one hand a a cigar in the other.
Cops look at each other and say to the little lad;" is your dad home sunny"?
Little lad replies:"does it fucking look like he is"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man, A Woman, A Hobby!

A man has been alone on a deserted island for ten years. One day a beautiful woman in SCUBA gear swims up on shore.

"Oh, thank God! I've been alone here for so long!"

She unzips the side of her wet suit, revealing a shapely arm, and says, "Then, you've probably not had one of these ....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets hit by a bus, dies and goes to Hell..

Upon his arrival, he is greeted by Satan's secretary who begins to process his paperwork and give him the run down on what it's like for eternity.

Secretary: "Hell really isn't all that bad, buddy. We have themed daily activities to keep our residents occupied. Were you by any chance a drinke...

A salesman rings the doorbell.

An eight year old boy answers the door. He is naked, except for his father's hat, his mother's panties, and a cape. He has a martini glass in one hand and a fat, Cuban cigar in the other.

"A-a-are your parents home?", the man stutters.

"What the Hell do you think?"

Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby are chatting...

Cosby: Have you ever had a cigar dipped in brandy?

Clinton: No, but I once had a cigar dipped in Monica.

Cosby: Now, why didn't I think of that...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Italian Honeymoon

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.


Giovanni said, “Hey Luigi, how was-a da treep?”

Luigi said, “Everyting was-a perfecto except-a for da train-a ride down.”

...

I went to a smoke shop only to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store.

Clothes, but no cigar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny

A door to door sales woman knocks on a door. Little Johnny opens the door holding a tumbler of scotch and a lit cigar. The woman, visibly shaken, asks "Little boy is your mother home?". Little Johnny takes a sip of his scotch and a draw from his cigar before he looks her dead in her eyes and says "W...

A man was marooned on a desert island.

One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit.
'When did you last have a smoke?' she asks. 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it.
She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, 'When did you last have a drink?' He said, 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a bottle of Scotch a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My father in the delivery room: 1973

My younger brother was born a few hours prior to this so dad and his buddies are clamoring around the hospital drinking, celebrating and smoking cigars - in the hospital, it was 1973 after all

They manage to find their way to the nursery and look in at the babies cooing at them as each one is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A salesman comes knocking...

After a fair bit of time and some noises that sounded like stumbling about, the door opens.

Coming from the house was loud jazz flute music and the distinct smell of weed.

The salesman looked down to see a kid standing impatiently at the door with what looked to be an exhausted meth-h...

I came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition.

Close, but no cigar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hillary Clinton was being driven in a private limo to a rally...

... when suddenly, the car hit a large and old-looking cow.

The driver got out and checked to see if it was dead. After confirming the death, he saw the tag on it that said it belonged to a nearby farm. He told Hillary Clinton that he would be going over to the farm to tell the farmers what ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Gorilla is sitting in a tree...

...and he is a pretty horny. There are no other apes around but he sees the lion eating a boar and he thinks about it and decides that a hole is a hole so he jumps down and fucks the lion in the ass. the lion lets out a terrifying roar and whips around but the gorilla has already finished and is run...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid goes to stay at his grandparents house for a weekend

On the first night, the kid and his grandad are sitting in the garage, Gramps is having a smoke. Kid says, "hey, can I get a puff?" Gramps says, "well. Does your dick touch your asshole?" Kid says, "no... What the hell??" Gramps says "well you can't have a puff of my cigar.

Next day, kid and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny NSFW

Little Johnny is sitting around at grandpa's house and notices his grandfather smoking a cigar. Johnny goes over and asks his grandpa "Hey grandpa, can I try a little of that cigar?" His grandfather looks at little Johnny and asks "Does your dick touch your asshole?" Johnny replies "No". Grandpa rep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny adult jokes - Three daughters

The mother had three virgin daughters. All three got married almost at the same time and went on a honeymoon. The mother was very worried about the beginning of their sexual life, and asked them to send her at least a few words how it's going.
The first one sent a postcard from Hawaii, just after...

Goodwill has announced they will no longer accept donations of vape or tobacco products

Clothes, but no cigar.

What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?

Clothes but no cigar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A salesman knocks on the door and a little boy answers...

he's drinking his father's favorite scotch and smoking a fresh cigar while wearing his mother's favorite bedsheets as a toga.

"Are your parents home?" asked the salesman.

to which the boy replied, "Does it fucking look like it?"

A couple of elders pass away together.

They meet in Paradise. They have a nice three rooms suite in a beautiful hotel with a cute view on the lake.

She has miles and miles of shops with women stuff and befriends a few fine ladies to hang out with.

He goes to a pub, meets nice men to play card with. Beer is fresh and a coupl...

Sitting in a refrigerator

This guy comes home from work early and runs up several flights of stairs to surprise his wife. As soon as he gets inside he smells cigar smoke and immediately gets the notion that his wife was fooling around with another man. Convinced he is still in the appartment, he checks every possible hiding ...

The detective picks up a scent of Cuban tobacco on the victim’s body.

From this, he deduces that the killer was a smoker. He also discovers a crumpled up sheet of paper that has an address scribbled out on it. This leads him to the doorsteps of an old apartment. The detective readies his gun and barges in, eager to find a clue that ties the house to the suspect. But o...

Ole has not been satisfying Lena lately, so he goes off to the doctor

When he comes back he is wearing pinstripe trousers, ruffled shirt with silk tie, a frock coat and a tall hat. He has a huge gold pocket watch and is smoking a cigar the size of a dachshund, and he is leaning on a silver-mounted ebony walking stick.

"Ole!" yells Lena, "what on earth are you d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy askes his dad if he can have a beer. The dad says "Is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?" The boy says no. "Then you're not man enough to have a beer yet."

A few years later he sees his dad having a cigar, and he asks if he can have a cigar too. The dad says "Is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?" The boy, again, says no. "Then you're not man enough to have a cigar yet."

A few more years pass, and the son buys a lottery ticket, and win...

I was meeting a friend at a smoke shop and accidentally went into the dry cleaners next door...

Clothes, but no cigar.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.