Corona isn't Trump's fault. Ebola wasn't Obama's. SARS wasn't Bush's.

...and only a handful of cases of herpes was Clinton's.

Corona must have hit India hard...

I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.

I’m gonna tell you a joke about corona virus...

You have to wait 2 weeks to see if you get it!

This corona virus is a lot like my girlfriend....

It came for everyone else but me.

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.

The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.

Biden and Obrador were confused and gav...

I’ve a joke on corona

But its already viral

Oddly both my iq test and my Corona test came back with the same result

Negetive

I would tell you a Corona joke.

But it's tasteless.

Three men walk into a bar. One works for Budweiser, one works for Corona, and one works for Guinness.

"What would you like?" the bartender asks the Budweiser worker.

"I'll have a Budweiser," says the Budweiser worker.

"And you?" the bartender asks the Corona worker.

"I'll have a Corona," responds the Corona worker.

"Let me guess," the bartender says to the Guinness worker...

I tried to make a corona virus joke last year.

Nobody laughed at the time, but eventually everyone got it.

I was told that wearing a mask and gloves would be enough during the corona virus pandemic

but when I got to the store I was told that pants and a shirt were also required

All countries will get the corona virus eventually...

China just got it right off the bat...

Anti-vaxxer: "This corona hoax is getting old."

Me: "You aren't."

A girl I’m hitting on just caught the Corona virus

I might have a chance now, as she’s lost all her taste...

I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus...

It’s nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

Positive Corona cases are way down in Texas over the last few days...

It requires power to perform the test.

Speaking of Corona..

Why hasn't anyone in Antarctica died of Corona yet?

Because they are ICEolated.

How do we know the corona virus wasn't made in China?

Because we've had it for almost a year now and it's still working

What do guns and corona virus have in common

They were both created in China now every American has one

The 12 Days of Corona

In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 Murder Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery S...

We switched from corona virus to the Third World War..

..which idiot changed from zombie mode to multiplayer?

Who declared Corona as a pandemic??

This is the first time in

english literature question

and answer both are same

Q:Who declared Corona

as a pandemic?

A: WHO declared Corona

as a pandemic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Corona beer and a pussy?

The pussy only tastes like piss for a few seconds.

I let my boss know I wouldn't be in because I had a case of Corona.

Technically I wasn't lying because I did drink like 10 of the 12.

I wish Corona could have started in Las Vegas...

Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

Scotland know the right way to deal with corona virus...

They’ve gone into full loch down.

The spread of Corona Virus is based on 2 factors:

1. How dense the population is.

2. How dense the population is.

America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona

By keeping the first one going

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

US President Donald Trump tested and was not infected by the Corona virus. Experts from the Robert Koch Institute are not surprised.

The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes.

How do you know if a penguin has corona?

It has to ice-olate

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for "One Corona, two margaritas and......... a lemonade". The bartender replies "Sure, but why the big pause?"

The bear looks down and says "That's just the way I'm built".

It’s confirmed . Fresh cow dung can stop corona

Dip both your hands in fresh cow dung before going out.

This will make sure that

a) you will not touch your eyes, nose, ear or mouth.

b) nobody will shake hands with you.

c) Nobody will come near you when you are out in the streets.

d) You will wash your hands thor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Contagious…….(Read in an Aussie accent)

Miss Hamlet is teaching the 6 year olds new words. “Contagious” she says. Can anyone use “contagious” in a sentence?

Mary puts up her hand and says “the corona virus is very contagious!”
“Well done” says miss Hamlet, “next?”

Timmy put his hand up and shouts “chicken pox are contagi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With the recent spike in sex toy purchases because of corona virus, I can only draw one conclusion.

The virus is literally making us go fuck ourselves.

I’m starting to think Corona Virus is a girlfriend

It explains how I’ve come in close contact three times, but never got it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very rich, yet stingy businessman had symptoms of corona...

He decided to get himself tested and went to the clinic.

After he returned from the clinic he saw few calls from his business partner. So he called him back.

His business partner picked up. he sounded worried, "Hey I've been trying to reach you! You didn't pick up so I called your home...

Today I had a covid and an IQ test.

Apparently I have 85 corona in my body. Does anyone know if thats a lot?

Oh and for those wondering, my IQ test was positive!

This Corona virus is a blessing

My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.

She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.

she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.

she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.

Best thing that has ever happened in my life.

My wife is really worried about our upcoming cruise because of the Corona Virus.

I said, “Don’t worry. We are all on the same boat.”

I made a Corona virus joke the other day

People said it was tasteless.

So I think I have the corona virus.

One of the symptoms is a loss of taste, and for a brief moment I thought Justin Bieber was talented.

Hey baby do you have the Corona virus?

Because I can’t stop looking achoo

Corona Virus Symptoms Basically Are The Same Feelings You Get When Your Wife Is Checking Your Phone

-Difficulty In Breathing -Sweating Profusely

-Weakness

-Headache

-Stomach Ache

And when you are asked a question the dry cough starts.

Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis

Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.

Corona virus is just like pasta

The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.

I think my weed dealer gave me corona

I’ve got a chronic cough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?

Corona actually spreads

Eminem is the first celebrity to be diagnosed with the corona virus

In a statement he said his palms were sweaty knees weak arms were heavy and presented to the emergency room the vomit on his sweater already .Later tests conclude it was in fact moms spaghetti

A man calls his doctor because he suspects he has Corona

They discuss his symptoms and conclude that he indeed has the disease.

Doctor: you will need to start the 3P diet.

Man: the 3P diet? What's that?

Doctor: pizza, pancakes, and panini

Man: but doctor, why?

Doctor: because they fit under the door

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Corona Virus is like my virginity

My uncle has it.

(I know its not that funny but its 12:53 and it just popped into my head.)

The world health organization declared that dogs cannot contract the Corona virus.

All dogs held in quarantine have been released. So to clarify.... WHO let the dogs out.

Lice are immune to corona

makes scientists all over the world scratch their head

Did you know that Tesla has started producing an anti-Corona device?

It's called the Elon Mask.

Another preventable Corona virus death

Wife: Did I get fat during the quarantine?
Husband: You were never really skinny.

Time of Death: May 3,2020 9:51pm
Cause of Death: Corona virus

I wanted to kiss my wife, but with this whole Corona thing,

instead I just elbowed her in the face.

What do you call a Russian politician who is first to test their new Corona vaccine?

Alexei Navalni

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Corona Virus and sex?

Most Redditors lack the social skills to get both.

If you think that Corona beer causes Coronavirus then...

You probably think that the leader of the World Health Organization is Dr Who.

Corona didn’t need an ad in the Super Bowl for their beer.

It’s already gone viral.

During the corona virus lockdown I've lost 95kgs

I'm ganna miss the wife and kids

With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..

“Made in China”

Before Corona Virus,I used to cough to cover a fart

Now I fart to cover a cough.

I asked my Russian friend today, if he is afraid of the corona virus.

He said "no! I have the antidote!" I said, really? What is it? He said "its vodka!" I didn't believe and said, vodka kills the virus? He said "no, but it kills the fear!"

People keep telling me the fact I lost my ability to smell could be due to Corona and I should get tested.

That's nonsense, I think it's due to the frequent washing.

At the pharmacy, I asked if they had anything that kills the corona virus.

She said "ammonia cleaner."
I said "Sorry, I thought you worked here."

Boss: "You called in sick yesterday and said you had the Corona virus. You can't be here until you get tested"

Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus"

I don't understand why people have a problem with corona protest demonstrations.

Shouldn't everyone be pro testing?

Corona beer sales have plummeted just because of the name similarity

Which I don't get cause, when O.J killed his wife I didn't stop drinking orange juice

Corona Virus has spread to species of birds

It now infects bat man and robin

What is the difference between corona virus and a dead man?

One is a coughing fit, and the other one fits a coffin.

Neighbour's 8 year old son: Corona has looted half my inheritance

Me: How?

Him: My mom is pregnant

What idiot called it "The Corona Virus"

When they missed a oppertunity to call it "The Kung Flu"

A foreign reporter asked a Beijing citizen for his opinion on the government's handling of the Corona virus

"I can't say"

I think that China is lying about how many people died from corona virus

They always show the same person when there's new cases

I'm quite worried about the corona virus...

It's got potential tequila lot of people.

As the world is encouraged to practise good hygiene in response to the Corona virus...

...the government gives a poignant demonstration by washing their hands of any responsibility.

If you could choose one NFL team to not come back after the Corona Virus, which one would you choose?

And why did you choose the Patriots?

Do you wanna hear a Corona virus joke?

Nevermind, you'll probably spread it around.

What does Keanu Reeves and the corona virus have in common?

They’re both breathtaking.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girl are you corona? Cuz you took my breath away

Her: boy are you Corona? Cuz I want to stay the fuck away from you.

Health secretary in a briefing to Trump: "Sir, in Chennai, India 36 Tamillians have been killed due to Corona Virus"

Trump is silent. His lips quiver. His hands shiver. His eyes wells up. He is unable to speak.

Health secretary is stunned. He never imagined that this event could affect him so badly.

After a few minutes, in a trembling voice, Trump asks "So, how many millions are there in *one tamilli...

My friend said that Donald Trump had found someone to blame over the Corona virus outbreak...

I asked him,'Who?'

Why did corona stop on the side of the road?

It helped a geriatric to the other side

With all this Corona virus going around, I'm really worried about Kevin Bacon.

He's always at most 6 degrees away from someone.

Don’t know why my fishing buddy is worried about getting the corona virus

He never catches anything!

What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?

No country for old men

BREAKING: Cure for corona has been discovered in North Korea

New treatment involves shooting patients in the face, and has recorded a 100% success rate in getting rid of the virus.

I can't wait to see the dim bulbs who are upset they have to wear a mask to prevent corona when...

...they find out what they have to wear to prevent the clap.

Dad jokes are like Corona

Evererybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.

I heard the British government is really worried about the Corona Virus,

The Prime Minister can hardly breathe.

A friend of mine has been fighting with Corona for 3 months now

Today his doctor told him: “look at you, after all this struggling you are still positive”

THIS CORONA QUARANTINE HAS GIVEN MY WIFE ALZHEIMERS!!

She doesn't remember what she ever saw in me.

China just released the name of the first man with Corona Virus

Ah Chu

A husband and wife went out shopping for essentials to avoid the corona virus.

After picking up a package of toilet paper, the husband glanced up and noticed another man walking towards them. The husband then shouted something incomprehensible , grabbed his wife by the arm and quickly ushered her into another aisle. The wife was upset as he had embarrassed her- everyone was l...

A church decides that god will protect them from the Corona Virus

As a result, **they all agree that they should not wear masks**, because they trust god so much. Weeks later, they all are infected and die from the virus.

They go to heaven and ask god, **"why didn't you protect us?"**

God responded **"that's what the masks were for you dumbasses"**

I was diagnosed with the corona virus at a brothel and the whole place was immediately quarantined.

Jeez, now I'll be stuck here for two weeks.

I had an issue at the toilet due to the Corona Virus..

I had run out of toilet paper so I had to use socks..

dumb name for a hamster anyways.

Did you hear about Coronas new marketing campaign?

Apparently it's gone viral in China.

My mom's sister doesn't get Corona.

She has an auntie body.

Redditors will save the world from the corona pandemic.

They are experts in applied social distancing.

How is Snoop Dogg combating the corona virus?

Bleeaoch!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the unsexiest thing about corona pandemic?

Everyone is in for flattening the curves

Whenever I'm afraid of Corona, I remind myself of my mom's six sisters.

So many auntie bodies...

I have a joke on Corona vaccine.

But it is still in testing.

A perfect cure for corona:

Tell corona that you are serious, you love it and that you want to spend the rest of your life with corona. You will not hear from corona ever again.

The Corona crises in the US is..

unpresidented

The Corona virus meets the Ebola virus. They start dating. One thing leads to another and the Corona virus bangs the Ebola virus.

Nine months later the Corolla virus is born.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are people buying so much toilet paper for the corona virus

Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Israel Health minister who previously claimed that CORONA Virus is “divine punishment against homosexuality.”

Has tested positive for the virus!!!

ALERT‼️‼️‼️ The corona virus can be spread through money.

If you have any money at home, put on some gloves, put all the money in a plastic bag and put it outside the front door tonight.
I'm collecting all the plastic bags tonight for safety. Think of your health.

If Corona virus is just a beer virus..

Then it’s just a yeast infection!

What happened when Corona went public?

It went Viral

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anagram lovers are more likely to get corona if

* exposed to a corona infected person
* they have weak immune system
* asked to spell racoon

The motto at times with Corona

Do NOT surround yourself with positive people.

A new strain of Corona have developed...

Its basically the same, but wiser

Thanks to Corona a distance of 1.5 meters needs to be respected in my country

BMW drivers are proud, been using this technique for years.

Did you here about the new movie coming out about the corona virus?

It’s directed by Tentin Quarantino.

Corona Virus defeated

Breaking news from China :” No death cases of corona virus reported in China for 3 days and only 5 new infections, all communist part officials”

In totally unrelated news ;” a surge in suicides in China reported , all victims killed them self withe 2 bullets to the back of the head and hav...

You know who didn’t die from the corona virus?

Jeffery Epstein

if bats could talk what would they say about the corona virus?

Now you know how it feels to have your world turned upside down!

Chinese doctors published their findings on the corona outbreak...

It’s gone viral

The Second Wave of Corona is Coming

It's called Dos Equis

LPT: If you hear a funny corona virus joke, please

laugh into your elbow.

You've got to hand it to Corona

They really know how to do a viral marketing campaign

Please stop with all the corona jokes.

I‘m sick of it.

As soon as this Corona thing settles a bit

I'm just gonna stay home for a few days.

I've heard that if you drink 6 Coronas a night you can't get sick. I think it was the CDC.

You know, the Corona Distribution Center.

Corona cases in North Korea are represented in binary.

Number of cases is either 1 or 0

The Legos stores have finally reopened in Europe after Corona virus,

People have literally been lining up for blocks!!

At a clothing store, I came across some fancy shirts with "CORONA" printed on them

There were just a few Casual Tees.

Just think, a year from now we will all be laughing about the Corona virus.

Some of us anyway.

Everyone is freaking out about Tom Hanks having the Corona virus.

I'm just happy that we finally know what Jenny had.

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