I’ve a joke on corona

But its already viral

Two mice meet

"Yo Mickey, long time no see. Did you get the Corona vaccine?"
"What!? ...Are you crazy, Jerry!? They are not done testing on humans"

I opened the fridge and wrinkled my nose ...

My wife: “Do you smell something?”

“Yeah, you bought Tilsiter cheese.”

She: “Your Corona test is negative.”

I tried to make a corona virus joke last year.

Nobody laughed at the time, but eventually everyone got it.

In an attempt to create synergy, an airline and a beer company merged. It think it was a smart move for the newly formed Alaska Natural Ice.

However, I'm less optimistic about Corona Delta.

Anti-vaxxer: "This corona hoax is getting old."

Me: "You aren't."

Interviewer : Which batch?

Candidate : Corona batch.
Interviewer : Ok, stay home, stay safe.

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.

The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.

Biden and Obrador were confused and gav...

Corona must have hit India hard...

I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.

With all the new, more severe, strains of Covid being discovered..

I guess that means that the original was actually Corona light..

What's the difference between Romeo & Juliet and Covid?

One is a Verona crisis. The other's a Corona virus.

I’m gonna tell you a joke about corona virus...

You have to wait 2 weeks to see if you get it!

This corona virus is a lot like my girlfriend....

It came for everyone else but me.

Hopefully COVID clears up before tick season...

Otherwise we’ll be having Corona and Lyme

The 12 Days of Corona

In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 Murder Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery S...

Oddly both my iq test and my Corona test came back with the same result

Negetive

I was told that wearing a mask and gloves would be enough during the corona virus pandemic

but when I got to the store I was told that pants and a shirt were also required

I would tell you a Corona joke.

But it's tasteless.

How do you know if a penguin has corona?

It has to ice-olate

Three men walk into a bar. One works for Budweiser, one works for Corona, and one works for Guinness.

"What would you like?" the bartender asks the Budweiser worker.

"I'll have a Budweiser," says the Budweiser worker.

"And you?" the bartender asks the Corona worker.

"I'll have a Corona," responds the Corona worker.

"Let me guess," the bartender says to the Guinness worker...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Corona beer and a pussy?

The pussy only tastes like piss for a few seconds.

Speaking of Corona..

Why hasn't anyone in Antarctica died of Corona yet?

Because they are ICEolated.

COVID Vaccine Efficacy

Researchers from the Universidad Autónoma de Guadalajara in Mexico discovered that a single dose of the corona virus vaccine was capable of alleviating life-threatening and reducing transmission rates by 87%.

An audio excerpt from the conversations of the two researchers, C. Guillermo and H. ...

Why don't they change the name of Corona beer?

Because they still want people to get more Corona cases.

Corona isn't Trump's fault. Ebola wasn't Obama's. SARS wasn't Bush's.

...and only a handful of cases of herpes was Clinton's.

A guy walks into a liquor store without a mask on...

He says, "I'd like a six pack of bud light and a case of corona"

Boss: "You called in sick yesterday and said you had the Coronavirus. You can't be here until you get tested"

Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus"

The way this year has gone so far

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Corona virus vaccine will be available in suppository form only.

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for "One Corona, two margaritas and......... a lemonade". The bartender replies "Sure, but why the big pause?"

The bear looks down and says "That's just the way I'm built".

Positive Corona cases are way down in Texas over the last few days...

It requires power to perform the test.

A girl I’m hitting on just caught the Corona virus

I might have a chance now, as she’s lost all her taste...

My wife is really worried about our upcoming cruise because of the Corona Virus.

I said, “Don’t worry. We are all on the same boat.”

I let my boss know I wouldn't be in because I had a case of Corona.

Technically I wasn't lying because I did drink like 10 of the 12.

Scotland know the right way to deal with corona virus...

They’ve gone into full loch down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is for everyone who has 20 20 vision

Why the FUCK didn’t any of y’all warn us about corona

How do we know the corona virus wasn't made in China?

Because we've had it for almost a year now and it's still working

Trump has mild Corona symptoms but he's ready for work, his doctor says.

After 3 1/2 years it's about time.

Social Distancing is so unbelievably stupid

If corona came from China, surely it can go another 6ft.

Hey baby do you have the Corona virus?

Because I can’t stop looking achoo

Did you know that Tesla has started producing an anti-Corona device?

It's called the Elon Mask.

Corona Virus Symptoms Basically Are The Same Feelings You Get When Your Wife Is Checking Your Phone

-Difficulty In Breathing -Sweating Profusely

-Weakness

-Headache

-Stomach Ache

And when you are asked a question the dry cough starts.

What do guns and corona virus have in common

They were both created in China now every American has one

Half an year ago, a middle-aged man, walking home after a long and stressful day of work, found an old, crusty lamp in an abandoned alley.

"What harm could it do," he said out loud, and gave it a rub.

A genie emerged, exclaiming, “All behold, I, the most powerful genie!! My might is unparalleled, my power is incomprehensible, and I shall grant you 3 wishes for freeing me from my prison...”

"I am a simple man with a simpl...

Beer

After Great Britain's Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided it would be fun to hit a pub in London and go out for a beer.

The first sits down and says, "Hey, Señor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."

The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it...

Gambling in 2020

Is it common cold or corona virus?

America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona

By keeping the first one going

What is the difference between corona virus and a dead man?

One is a coughing fit, and the other one fits a coffin.

Lice are immune to corona

makes scientists all over the world scratch their head

I think my weed dealer gave me corona

I’ve got a chronic cough.

No one:

Corona Virus: New year, New me

Drinking goals

So during the Corona virus ive decided to work on not drinking,

So far, i'm not able to drink a whole 18pack in one night.

I’m starting to think Corona Virus is a girlfriend

It explains how I’ve come in close contact three times, but never got it

According to Simon and Garfunkel, we should blame Rosie for Covid-19

She was the queen of Corona

COVID 19

Joe Biden was trashing Trump in the presidential debates. To get out of this mess Trump proclaimed himself as the expert on COVID, got angry and accused that sleepy Joe doesnt even know what COVID - 19 stands for. Joe was seemingly puzzled that trump would ask such a simple and direct question.
<...

Why was the coroner enjoying his work so much lately?

Everyday now he gets to pop open a nice cold Corona.

Why did corona stop on the side of the road?

It helped a geriatric to the other side

If your Doctor spoke like Trump

So it seems you’ve tested positive for the Chinese virus, the so-called Covid NINETEEN, the Corona—nobody knows what to call it, quite frankly. It’s the most amazing thing, no one knew anything about Corona until a few weeks ago.

But the moment I heard about it—the Wuhan flu; it’s also the W...

A priest, a nun and some random dude walks into a bar

They ask for a few coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs.

The bartender says "that'll be 2020"

Why did the sick man cover himself in ticks?

He wanted some Lyme with his Corona

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very rich, yet stingy businessman had symptoms of corona...

He decided to get himself tested and went to the clinic.

After he returned from the clinic he saw few calls from his business partner. So he called him back.

His business partner picked up. he sounded worried, "Hey I've been trying to reach you! You didn't pick up so I called your home...

A friend of mine has been fighting with Corona for 3 months now

Today his doctor told him: “look at you, after all this struggling you are still positive”

I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus...

It’s nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

I wish Corona could have started in Las Vegas...

Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

What do you call a Russian politician who is first to test their new Corona vaccine?

Alexei Navalni

Chuck Norris wears a mask not because he has to protect himself from Corona Virus.

He wears it so Corona Virus can protect itself from him.

People keep telling me the fact I lost my ability to smell could be due to Corona and I should get tested.

That's nonsense, I think it's due to the frequent washing.

If Trump banned Tik Tok because it's made in China

Why doesn’t he just ban the Corona Virus?

The Second Wave of Corona is Coming

It's called Dos Equis

I don't understand why people have a problem with corona protest demonstrations.

Shouldn't everyone be pro testing?

I have a joke on Corona vaccine.

But it is still in testing.

Donald trump was getting his daily briefing...

“Sir, there was another 60,000 cases of corona and a thousand Americans died”

“Huh” - the orange elder barely nods and continues watching Fox.

“Sir- also there was a riot in downtown DC and two cops and fourteen protesters are dead and sixteen in custody”
“Yawn... next”, replies th...

Corona beer sales have plummeted just because of the name similarity

Which I don't get cause, when O.J killed his wife I didn't stop drinking orange juice

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girl are you corona? Cuz you took my breath away

Her: boy are you Corona? Cuz I want to stay the fuck away from you.

Corona Virus has spread to species of birds

It now infects bat man and robin

So I think I have the corona virus.

One of the symptoms is a loss of taste, and for a brief moment I thought Justin Bieber was talented.

Another preventable Corona virus death

Wife: Did I get fat during the quarantine?
Husband: You were never really skinny.

Time of Death: May 3,2020 9:51pm
Cause of Death: Corona virus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I miss my wife, she always used to say that I take things literally. but she divorced me recently...

She was stuck at her parents' place due to the corona lockdown since March. When I called her that when would she be coming back, she said she will try to come as soon as the 3 months lockdown is lifted and she added she would like to see that dick in summer.

When she got back she found me ha...

I can't wait to see the dim bulbs who are upset they have to wear a mask to prevent corona when...

...they find out what they have to wear to prevent the clap.

I made a Corona virus joke the other day

People said it was tasteless.

Health secretary in a briefing to Trump: "Sir, in Chennai, India 36 Tamillians have been killed due to Corona Virus"

Trump is silent. His lips quiver. His hands shiver. His eyes wells up. He is unable to speak.

Health secretary is stunned. He never imagined that this event could affect him so badly.

After a few minutes, in a trembling voice, Trump asks "So, how many millions are there in *one tamilli...

What's something that can be not popular but very viral?

Corona in the end of 2019

This Corona app is like Tinder in reverse...

...first you meet, then you find out you have a match and suddenly you feel rather lonely.

Whenever I'm afraid of Corona, I remind myself of my mom's six sisters.

So many auntie bodies...

Chuck Norris Caught CoronaVirus

The CoronaVirus is now hospitalized on ventilator support.

Joking about Kim jong uns death and corona are kind of the same. First we made memes about it....

....then we either ended up dead or locked inside

During the corona virus lockdown I've lost 95kgs

I'm ganna miss the wife and kids

The Legos stores have finally reopened in Europe after Corona virus,

People have literally been lining up for blocks!!

Breaking news!

Corona Virus claims a black belt. Chuck Norris, Dead at 80.

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris, famous actor and fighter, died yesterday afternoon at his home in Northwood Hills, TX at the age of 80.

Chuck Starred in dozens of movies and Tv series which have, and continue to entertain millions ...

You're so positive!!!

A message from Corona

God I would hate it if this covid pandemic kept going all the way through to tick season.

I really don’t like corona with Lyme.

The motto at times with Corona

Do NOT surround yourself with positive people.

staying home because of Corona

When this lockdown will finally be over, the first thing I need to do is to relax at home for a few days.

I once told a joke...

... about Chinese people and the Corona Virus. An overly sensitive and overweight female co-worker said that just because I'm Asian, doesn't mean that the joke wasn't racist...

I asked her, "So if i tell a race joke, does it mean I'm a racist?"

She responded, "Yes, telling a joke based...

Conspiracy theorists in Germany believe the government plans to do mandatory vaccinations against Corona. That's laughable.

I'm certain they'll put something in the tap water.

A Britisher asks an Indian.

A Britisher asked and Indian

Why no politician in India has tested postive for corona?
while lot of politicians around the world even some of the prime minister's tested postive for corona?

Indian: The Politicians in India meet voters only once in 5 years and strictly follow "Social...

Neighbour's 8 year old son: Corona has looted half my inheritance

Me: How?

Him: My mom is pregnant

THIS CORONA QUARANTINE HAS GIVEN MY WIFE ALZHEIMERS!!

She doesn't remember what she ever saw in me.

At the pharmacy, I asked if they had anything that kills the corona virus.

She said "ammonia cleaner."
I said "Sorry, I thought you worked here."

Before Corona Virus

I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the best name for the groups of armed anti-stay-at-home protesters?

Vanilla Isis

Flu Klux Klan

Lack Panthers

HamAss

Meal Team Six

Gravy Seals

Irrational Guard

Y'all Qaeda

Branch Covidians

Boko Moron

The Coughedaracy

101st Chairborne

Cosplaytriots

The Yeehadis

Hogan's Ze...

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