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Challenged Jokes

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.

Einstein: asks a question.

Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
...

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child.

Though to be fair, Trump kinda had it coming.

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turns out she just wanted to do laundry.

So I folded.

“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...

“You herd me.”

I challenged my dad to a race to see who would die first.

Sadly he beat me to death.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate him.

IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."

Boat Owner: “Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does abou...

The kid next door challenged me to a water fight.

I thought I'd post this while the water boils.

Chuck Norris challenged Superman to a manliness competition

Whoever lost had to wear underwear over their pants.

One time my uncle challenged me that I cant do a simple electrical wiring.

He got shocked after I completed the work.

A friend challenged me to get more karma

I replied *"piece of cake"*

What do you call a mentally challenged rapper?

Why a rap autist of course.

The kids next door challenged me to water fight in the front yard.

I'm just posting real quick while I wait for it to boil.

I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.

The odds were against me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Challenged my boss to a street race.

My boss drives a Prius to work every day. One day I challenged him to a street race after work, my Focus against his car, for pink slips. Quarter mile. He accepted

That night waiting for him, he pulls up, in a Corvette. We raced. He won. I didn't stop. Kept going. Next day I called into work...

The Tortoise challenged the Hare

The Tortoise said “race you home!”

The Hare began sprinting. The Tortoise retracted into his shell.

Jesus and the Devil have challenged each other to a typing battle on MS Word

It's a close battle and they're down to the last word, when boom! Power outage!

When the power outage is resolved, all of the Devil's progress was lost, but Jesus only had one word to type!

Moral of the story: Jesus saves, and so should you.

Three people die; a doctor, school teacher, and the head of a large insurance company.

When met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the doctor, "what did you do on Earth?"
The doctor replied, "I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free." St. Peter told the Doctor, "You may go in."
St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, "I...

A man once challenged everyone that he can answer all questions with just two sentences.

The man claimed that all questions can be answered by either "None of your business" or "None of my business".

Then a wise man came to him, and asked, "Don't you think answering questions like that make people unhappy?"

The man replied with "None of my business."

The wise man th...

Two silk worms challenged each other in a race.

It ended in a tie.

What do you called a mentally challenged freshwater fish that has never met it’s father?

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Basstard

A seven-year old boy challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.


The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt...

My friend challenged me to finish his bird drawing. He had already drawn the head, torso and legs.

To be honest, I just winged it.

When I said I wanted to be intellectually challenged...

I didn't mean I wanted you to smash me over the head with a baseball bat.

I tried to join a club for the directionally challenged

I couldn't find the meeting

The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight

I’m just checking reddit quickly before the kettle boils

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I challenged my girlfriend to make me feel sad and happy at the same time

Then she said: "you have the best dick among all of your friends"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ test, and there was only one question on the test...

If the President of the United States and the President of the US Virgin Islands are in an elevator, how many people are in the elevator?

One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.

Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."

"Yes", laughed the devil, "but I have all the umpires!”

I challenged a guy to a game of Pool.

"The winner gets to sleep with my girlfriend," I declared.

Boy, did he look smug when he won.

Jokes on him though, I don't have a girlfriend.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late

Is it ok to call him tardy?

Did you hear about the famous Chinese restaurant run by a father and his mentally challenged kid?

Ya, people really loved his dim son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I challenged the President of the United States to a contest, to see who was better musically.

I challenged him on strings, and he strung me along. I tried percussion, and he beat me senseless. I even attempted to best him on woodwind, but he just blew me away. Ready to give up, I gave my best attempt on brass...

...and he just couldn't Trump it.

Some American pilots challenged their Russian counterparts to find out whose planes are faster.

The Americans took the latest supersonic aircraft, but the Russians managed to get only an old, decommissioned Kukuruznik and tied it to the American plane with rope.

After takeoff, an American crewmember said to his commander:

"Sir, the Russians are right behind us!"

"What is...

A friend of mine believes that the Earth is flat. I challenged him to prove it by walking off the edge…

He eventually came around!

My friend said I was bad at spelling. I disagreed, so he challenged me to a spelling bee.

I excepted.

A man insulted me, so I challenged him to a duel.

I took the first swing, but he parried and thrust his sword into my shoulder. "Ow!" I said, and swung at him again. Again, he parried and thrust, this time hitting me in the stomach. "Christ, man, are you ever going to go on the offensive?!" I shouted at him. He simply shrugged and invited me to com...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was challenged to my first fight the other day. I picked out an outfit, showed up and got my ass kicked.

It turned out not to be my strong suit.

I've challenged the sun to a blinking contest everyday of my life

Today was the first day I've won

I did not last more than a day as a teacher in Spanish-American school for mentally challenged

Apparently” Buenos, tardes!” is not an appropriate greeting

Someone challenged me to come up with an original catholic priest joke, so I thought...

Nah, I'm not gonna touch that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fine taster once entered a restaurant and challenged the restaurant owner.

He told the restaurant owner to serve him anything, and he'd be able to identify it. The restaurant owner accepted the challenge, and the starter meal was served. The guest tasted it, thought about it for a few seconds and then said: "This is a paté from a wild boar, duck and common quail. The wine ...

For Halloween, my vertically challenged friend dressed like a garden decoration, but made the whole costume out of denim.

He's the human jean gnome.

Donald Trump was challenged by the police over his recent Twitter gaffe about meeting the Prince of Whales

He was let off with a cetacean

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

She kept busy

A man arrived home early from work and caught his sexy young wife in bed with another man…
The dishonored husband challenged the other man to an old-fashioned duel using his pistols, announcing angrily, "Whoever manages to shoot first and kill the other, gets her…"
The other man agreed to th...

An Englishman named "One-two-three" and a Frenchman named "Un-deux-trios" challenged each other to see whose cat could swim across the Channel first...

After a grueling competition, One-two-three won after Un-deux-trois quatre cinq.

A humor-challenged preacher really wanted to try to use jokes to make his sermons more engaging.

One day, he went to hear a speech, and the speaker said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!". The audience was shocked. The speaker then said the punchline, "and that woman was my mother!" and he got a lot of laughs.

The preacher decided to copy ...

What do you call a vertically challenged person who's escaped from prison and can commune with the dead?

A small medium at large.

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