UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Had to call out sick when my condition flared up today.

It is called anal glaucoma.

Some days I just can't see my ass going to work.

When journalists quote you, they have a subtle but unmistakable way to call out your grammatical errors.

It's a [sic] burn.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is about to go into a bar on a Saturday afternoon when he hears a voice behind him call out "Do not go into that house of sin!"

He turns around ready to give the busybody a piece of his mind, but he holds his tongue on seeing it is an elderly nun, and instead he says "Excuse me, Sister, but why would you be calling this delightful hostelry such a hard name?"

"Because it is the devil's water they sell there," she cries...

Chuck Norris, Zelensky, and God all walk into a bar.

The Bartender looks up, "Were were just about to start a new drinking game I've been working on. I call out a bragging point, and each one willing to meet it, chugs their drink. The last man standing due to matching every post and surviving every drink, gets the pot. Everyone else has to split the t...
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Why did SJWs call out Medusa?

She kept objectifying people.
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Whenever I call out of my shift.

I always got my bed sheets to cover me.
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A blonde is drilling in the ice to fish when he hears a voice call out from above...

**There are no fish under the ice**

The guy looks up but doesn't see anyone. He asks - can I at least drill and see for myself?

The answers in a louder tone.

**There are no fish under the ice**

The poor guy looks up and still can't see anyone. He thinks to himself - ...
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Why did the pony call out of work?

He was a little horse.
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I worked up the courage to call out my overweight cat today.

I asked him "If you're such a fat cat, where is all your money?"
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An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery. The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman: “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn’t even see me.”

“That’s just simple thievery,” the Irishman replied. “I’ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.”

The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says: “Sir, I want to show you a magic trick.” The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magi...
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