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Inquiring Jokes

A teacher asks her students a simple math question…

“There are 3 birds on a wire, one gets shot, how many are left?”

Little Johnny raises his hand, “there are none left, once the one bird was shot the other two flew away ”

Teacher tells Johnny he is wrong, but she likes the way he thinks.

Johnny then inquired, “may I ask you a qu...

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer and takes out a smoke, he asks the guy sitting next to him for a light and is handed a giant lighter. He looks at it curiously, lights his smoke and hands it back while inquiring where one would get such a large lighter?

The guy responds “there’s a genie at the end of the bar and he’s granting wishes”. The man gets up and walks up to sit next to the genie and says, “I hear you’re granting wishes”. The genie after having been drinking heavily for hours responds “yeah but one wish per customer!” The guy shrugs and say...

I was inquiring about seating for two at a new restaurant and they asked if I had reservations...

I said that I had some, but that I was willing to give it a try.

All the single ladles

Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her a...

Two elderly ladies meet at the laundromat after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.

“Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

“Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"

“I opened a can of peas instead."

The curious case of Sherlock Holmes

We all know the most brilliant detective of all Sherlock Holmes.

Well one day a lady came to his office inquiring him about something quite unusual.

She asked him this, "If you're the greatest detective of all then can you tell which color panties am I wearing today?"

Sherlock h...

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".

"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.

"What's that mean?"

"It means they cut the skin off the end."

"How old were you when it was cut off?"

"My mom said I was two days old."

"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.

"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk fo...

Honeymoon

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.

A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage

Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man.
We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the can...

I called a friend and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...

Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave was in love with Wendy...

As a sign of his devotion he got her name tattooed on his willy, just before asking for her hand in marriage. Now, when he was flaccid only the first and last letters of Wendy's name were visible. That night in bed Wendy noticed the "Wy" tattooed on his member. Upon inquiring Dave about it, he becam...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife, Father and mother in-law, and myself are at dinner. The restaurant is packed. I say, "Service sure is slow tonight." Father In Law, "Tell me something I *don't* know." followed by a smirk. Feigning a smile, I ignore the comment.

A little later into dinner my wife and I are talking about some car trouble we were having this past week. I say, "Ford should really figure out their electrical." Father in law chimes in uninvited, "Tell me something I *don't* know!"

"Ok, 'dad'. Funny.", I think to myself. I again ignore the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy asks his dad about the difference between theory and practice.

So the dad tells him to go and ask his sister, mother, and grandmother whether or not they would be willing to sleep with a man for 1 million dollars.

The boy asks his grandmother who says "for much less"

Then his mother who says "beats sleeping with that broke son of a bitch you call ...

cue cantina music

A Jedi walks in to a bar. Having just returned from a great struggle, he and his companions are thirsty for strong refreshments. The Jedi leans over toward the bartender and says, "I want you to pour out a drink from every bottle except those three."

As he begins pouring a vast array of sho...

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