Baghdad Jokes - 23 Hilarious Baghdad Jokes

A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied,

"Thanks for the Baghdad"

An American tourist lands at Baghdad Interational Airport

The airport security asks him a series of questions.

Security: "Name?"

Tourist: "Andrew"

Security: "Residency"

Tourist: "Idaho"

Security: "Occupation?"

Tourist: "No No, just visiting"

What do you call a spider from Baghdad?

An Iraqnid.

How is the tourism industry doing in Baghdad?

Boomin'.

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One night in Baghdad, an American, an Englishman and an Iraqi were sitting, chilling with cold beer in a night bar.

The American took his glass, drank the beer, threw the glass into the air, pulled his pistol, shot the glass, commenting that they have such cheap glasses in America that they do not have to drink from the same one twice.

The Englishman, impressed, grabs his glass and does the same thing as ...

A guy in Baghdad sinks the 8-ball in regulation...

A guy in Baghdad sinks the 8-ball in regulation. His friend says "nice win, play again?" He responds "Okay, but Iraq."

What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans?

It was Bin Laden

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Two Mothers Are Sitting Together At An Outdoor Café In Baghdad...

**Mother 1**: [*pulls out picture from purse*] "This is my son Abdullah. He would have been 25 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."

**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes I remember when he lost his first tooth..."

[*sighs*]

**Mother 1**: [*pulls out another picture*] "This is my son Hussein...

My father went to Iraq. I miss him so much.

Please come Baghdad.

My father and I were leaving our hotel in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.

I said, "Don't forget your Baghdad".

(Hopefully it isn't a repost)

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Hey girl, are you from Iraq?

Coz you look Saddam fine when you Baghdad ass up.

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What's the subtle difference between Saddam Hussein and a sperm?

One comes from Baghdad, the other cums from Dads bag.

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What's the most commonly played song at a strip club in Iraq?

Baghdad ass up.

What did the Iraqi teenager say to his father when he came home?

I'm Baghdad.

One time my cousin called me after a night of drinking...

"Hey man I just woke up in some desert and have no idea where I am! You gotta help me!"

I took a deep breath and said "Relax bud lets figure this out. Look around you what sort of things do you see?"

He told me it was pretty much all sand around him minus some rocks, mountains in the d...

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TBT to Saddam

Saddam calls George in the middle of night and says he just had a terrible dream. He saw America on fire, dead people everywhere, the Sun blocked by smoke...

George Bush: "You Iraqis are always about wars and destruction. I also had a dream about Baghdad, but I dreamed streets full of festiv...

What did the son say to his father when he lost his suitcase in the airport on their trip to the middle east?

"Where's baghdad?"

After years of searching for his missing journalist father, a man gets a call from the U.S. Embassy...

“I regret to inform you that we’ve located your father’s remains. They were found buried in a sack somewhere in Iraq.”

“Oh no! Baghdad?”

“Try to remember how he lived, not how he died.”

Bombing

Terrorists in Baghdad recently blew up a drainage system. Police there are calling it a sewer-side bombing..

Brazilian Soldiers

An aide walks into the oval office. George W. Bush is currently president, and the Iraq war is dragging out into a long and grueling occupation. The aide presents the numbers from yesterday to the President.

"Mr. President, yesterday the US coalition forces killed a confirmed 36 insurgents....

Where did the father of the paper sack live?

Baghdad!

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The Gunny's Gun (a military joke)...

U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail.

So, the Joint Chiefs of Staff all get together one day at a tavern in Washington D.C. to brainstorm a solution. After many hours of back an...

An Iraqi man was fleeing the Saddam Hussein regime in 1997....

An Iraqi man was fleeing the Saddam Hussein regime in 1997 and ended up in a refugee camp in India. There, he met a lovely young woman, who happened to be the caretaker of the camp. They eventually started dating and were truly in love. One night, the woman asked if he would marry her.

The we...

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