UPJOKE
masculinemachoargotcantjargonlingopatoisslangvernacularrandyfemmetomboyflattophaircutdepreciation

Old Butch

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens, called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

Any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roost...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Butch, Jimmy, and Joe go on a camping trip.

Butch and Jimmy are collecting firewood when out of nowhere, a venomous snake bites Jimmy on the tip of his penis.

Jimmy: "I'm bit! It got my penis - oh my god, what do I do?!"

Butch: "Joe will know what to do! I'll go ask him!"

Butch rushes back to their campsite and finds Joe...

Three redneck friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two were in the back.

They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

A guy walks into a bar with his dog.

The bartender says, "Sorry, buddy. No dogs allowed."
The guy answers, "But this dog is special. He talks."

"Oh really?"

The guy turns to the dog and says, "Butch, what's on top of a house?"
Butch answers, "Roof."

The bartender fold his arms and says,"I'm not in the moo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke

I went to go visit my friend Chuck on his farm out in Greater Minnesota, and he's showing off his barn, crops, and livestock. When we get to the swine corral, there's an enormous boar... with three wooden legs.

So I ask him, "why does that pig have three wooden legs?"

"Well, Steve, tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy wanted to take his wife duck hunting

She'd never been hunting so they prepared the night before.

She made breakfast and lunch for the trip while he got all the hunting stuff clean and got his dog, Butch, ready for the trip. They went to bed early.

The next morning, the guy got up and went to check on everything. It was na...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John goes to pick up his girlfriend for a date, and meet her dad for the first time.

As he walks in the house, he's greeted by his girlfriend's father who explains she is still getting ready and will be down shortly. They move to the living room where the family dog, Butch, is laying on the floor next to where John is sitting. John had pretty bad gas, and the room was silent. After ...

My friends are named after what they do...

My friend Butch is a butcher, my friend Taylor is a tailor, and my black friend's name is Rob

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little mushrooms

A horny young man is walking down by a mushroom patch behind a nunnery, when he gets an idea. He strips, lies on his back, and buries himself with just his erection sticking out, disguised among the other mushrooms. Before long, a pretty, dainty young nun comes out with a basket and begins picking m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Redneck Letter...

Dear son,

Im writing this slow because i know you cant read fast. we dont live where we did when you left home.your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. i wont be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here to...

An old blind cowboy is making his way to the bar...

Using his cane he feels his way down the street: tap tap tap. He feels his way to the door: tap tap tap. He feels his way inside to the bar: tap tap tap. He feels his way to a stool: tap tap tap.

The gruff old cowboy makes himself comfortable, and upon settling in, asks to the other patrons a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Wagerer

A guy walks into a bar, is seen by the bartender wandering from table to table, occasionally making them laugh, occasionally getting a scowl and pocketing a few dollars. Finally, he makes his way to the bar and sits down. "Whats all that about?" asks the barkeep

"Oh, I'm a professional wagere...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.