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Dibs Jokes

The wife & I had a child yesterday evening,

I call dibs on the breakfast ribs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God was talking to one of his angels

God: how many animals do we have left?

Angel: 2

God: and how many legs do we have left?

Angel: 100

Centipede: DIBS!

Snake: you,

Heard that the government is putting chips in people

I call dibs on Cheddar and Sour Cream

Elephant Jokes

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was dead.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was tied to the first elephant.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

Q: Why did the tree fall...

If the Alibaba IPO crashes...

Dibs on the term "Ali-bubble"

An inventor is about to pass, leaving all he has to his only family. His two children.

He was a very altruistic person in life, only using his inventions to help people and not make any profit. His daughter admired this trait and followed this path becoming a tinkerer herself. His son, however, was an opportunist. He would always attempt to make a profit off any of his father's invent...
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