Got vaccinated, avoided swine flues. Got vaccinated, avoided bird flues. Then I bought a house with two fireplaces.

Got chimney flues.

Why was Santa sick on the day after Christmas?

A couple of the chimneys he went down had the flue

How did Harry Potter travel during the pandemic ?

“ flue” powder

Britain used to send kids up chimneys to sweep them. It was hazardous and many got ill and died.

Until we developed the flue vaccine.

Our whole house has become sick

Even the chimney has the flue.

The CDC is warning people about biohazards in chimneys, but my dumb Facebook friends won't listen.

They keep saying "It's just the flue, bro."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIFU by sticking a chimney starter up my butt to cure my coronavirus.

Turns out it's only effective against the flue.

China really missed out on the naming of the coronavirus they so should have called it the

Cung flue

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny uses the word Contagious in a sentence.

A teacher gives her kids an assignment. Use the word contagious in your everyday life and report back to me tomorrow.
The next day all the kids are raising their hand.
The teacher calls on little Susie.
Little Susie, my little brother has the flue and if he sneezes on me I wi...

Why does Santa have to be extra careful with his health around Christmas Eve?

It's flue season.

A chimney sweep called in sick to work.

He had a touch of the flue.

Why wouldn't the blonde go near the fireplace?

Because the chimney had a flue

Somebody asked me what a spoonerism was....

I haven't got a cooking flue.

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