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Bolts Jokes

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My mate said he can tighten up nuts and bolts with his butt.

Personally I think he torques out of his arse

Edit: Silver, Gold, Platinum, and got to the front page.

Thankyou everyone!

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An elderly Jew bolts into a church confessional

St Patrick’s Cathedral. He pulls the curtain and says , “Father. My name is Saul Hershkowitz. I’m 73 years old and I’ve been with a 22 year old girl. The priest says “Saul, wait a minute. You’re Jewish. Why are you telling me this? And the man says “Hey Father, I’m telling everybody”

So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole...

...A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her tape measure and runs it down the side of the pole.

"26 feet 6 inches" S...

What does a robot do after a one-night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

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What do you call a robot sex worker that only does one-night stands?

Nuts’n bolts

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one...

What do nuts and bolts talk about?

Screwing and stripping

I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts.....

The plot was riveting!

What does a toolbox and a deadbeat dad have in common?

Screws, nuts, and bolts.

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[NSFW] I'm going to get lightning bolts tattooed on my penis

It never strikes the same place twice

Today I was asked about my job manufacturing nuts and bolts

I told them it was quite riveting

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All You Nice People Can Board the Train

This is the first "grown up joke" I remember an adult telling me as a kid:


A little boy was playing with his toy train on the floor. He pulled the train around the track and stopped at the little station.

"Coo Choo! All you bastards who want off the train, get off the train. All...

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Tinder Date Kink

He described his sexual proclivities as "nuts and bolts" so I thought vanilla and mundane, but when we met at the park he suddenly came on me and ran.

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