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Breaths Jokes

A Doctor is examining a young girl with an ample chest. He holds his stethoscope to her chest and says 'OK, Nice big breaths'

'Yeth' replies the girl, 'and I'm only theventeen'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Let me tell you the story about the chicken that breaths throught it's asshole...

One day, it sat on a rock and died.

The end.

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Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, I let out this embarrassingly loud, deep breaths.

But it’s ok. She told me sighs don’t matter.

How do scientists freshen their breaths?

Ex*spearmints*

The Alabama doctor was doing an exam. He said to the girl, "Big breaths."

She said, "Yeah, and I'm only thixteen."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus on the cross..

After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him.

He saw his wonderful mother Mary.
He saw gods chi...

Ishmael is lying on his death bed...

...at the ripe old age of 97. He weakly raises his head and, through whispered, labored breaths, asks, "Where is my wife, Elena?"

"Oi vey, I am here, my love," whimpers the elderly woman as she clutches her husband's hand.

"This is good," says Ishmael. "And what of my son, Abraham? Is ...

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What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

Wives seem to love this one

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman'...

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