A man in his 80’s went to a doctor with his beautiful, breathtaking 25 year old lady.

Doctor helped the frail old man in his clinic: What can I do for you today, sir?

Old man said to the Dr: I married this beautiful angel 2 months ago, and she is pregnant with my baby. At this age, I forgot how to care for the mother, I want to seek your advice.

Doctor a little taken ...

Trophy Girlfriend

Bill, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old blonde on his arm. She's hanging on his every word. His buddies at the club are aghast.

They corner him and ask, "Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bill replies...

I have a BREATHTAKING reminder for y'all

Automatic breathing deactivated.


And blinking too lol

My wife said I was breathtaking in bed.

So I removed her oxygen mask. RIP Marie.

What did the comedian say to death?

You're breathtaking

Flying over the Atlantic

An Airbus 380 is on it's way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring ...

Last week I saw I noose tying tutorial

It was breathtaking

Today i stole the inhaler of a kid

It was breathtaking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I participated in a lung surgery earlier

That was breathtaking

Breathtaking

A guy sits on the train, reading a newspaper. He lays down his newspaper and says to the guy in front of him "You know, with every breath I take, someone dies!"
Says the other guy "Have you tried brushing your teeth?"

God says to the angel Gabriel: "I'm going to create a land called Canada."

"And Canada will be one of the largest and wealthiest in the world, stretching from the Arctic circle to the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, with breathtaking natural beauty and vast natural resources.

And Canada will have a rich cultural heritage, and its people will be renowned all over the wo...

Damn babe are you a Minneapolis police officer?

'Cos you're breathtaking..

I hear the view from Mount Everest is breathtaking...

literally.

I unplugged my grandma's life support

The moment was really breathtaking.

Three men go to heaven

At the gate into heaven St. Peter tells them, they can have everything they want as long as they do not step on a dark cloud. After that, they enter and have an amazing time.

But after a week the first comes up to the others with his leg in a bear trap. The others ask him:
"What happend?"<...

When you go hiking with asthma

You'll always find a breathtaking view

Drowning doesn’t actually sound that bad

In fact it sounds quite breathtaking

What does Keanu Reeves and the corona virus have in common?

They’re both breathtaking.

During a fire, a women was stuck on the 4th floor with her baby.

Fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built man burst through the crowd and shouted to the woman. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the...

What's the difference between the Eiffel Tower and COVID-19?

One of them is actually breathtaking.

I tried deep diving without equipments once ...

It was breathtaking.

It's been reported that Keanu Reeves has been stealing people's inhalers.

In other words, he's breathtaking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last night my girlfriend and I finally tried choking during sex.

It was breathtaking..

Overcome with the beauty of the Earth from space, the astronaut removed his helmet

The view was breathtaking

Coronavirus joke

Coronavirus attacks the lungs, so I guess you could say it's a breathtaking experience.

I killed my grandpa by switching off his life support

Gotta admit it was quite breathtaking

So Keanu Reeves just stabbed someone in the throat in John Wick...

Gasping for air and dying his victims says two last words. "You're breathtaking"

A British Gentleman visits India..

He landed in the state of West Bengal, the former seat of the East Indian Company.

Dressed in classic gentlemanly fashion he decided to start the tour by visiting the famed Victoria Memorium Hall. Taken aback by the marvellous architecture, he stopped the nearest passerby and asked, "Who mad...

I’m really allergic to pollen

But I feel this spring will be breathtaking

What did the asthmatic person say to the construction worker?

You're breathtaking.

A Holy Car

A priest decides he’s fed up with his old car. So he goes to a dealership and finds a salesman.

The salesman notices the cross around the priest’s neck and asks,
“Are you, by chance, a man of God, sir?”.

The priest proudly says
“Why yes I am!”.

“Well then,” says the s...

Drowning, choking, and suffocating

Are breathtaking experiences

Guess how good my jokes on asthma are....

They're breathtaking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do some people like being choked during sex?

Because it is breathtakingly good.

Did you hear about the beautiful strangler?

He was breathtaking.



a small amount of cred to another post i read on this sub today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Blue Pigeon.

There once was a medium sized city on the countryside. The villagers were happy, economy was thriving, education in top form, and few complaints could be made.

One day a pigeon arrived. The next day another. And the next day the pigeon population doubled again. This happened until the villag...

I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty...

*Breathtaking*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored...

Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.

Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.

Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
<...

People think I'm an idiot because I really enjoy getting strangled.

But, really, it's quite breathtaking!

What is space like without a space suit?

Breathtaking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once an old postman...

...whose name was Stan. Stan had had a robust career delivering mail in a small town for over 45 years, and decided to retire. On his final day of work, the families on his route all decided to give him presents to show their appreciation. At the first house, the McKinsleys gave him a very nice set ...

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