Beer Belly Jokes

Some guy looked at my beer belly in the bar last night and asked sarcastically "Is that Budweiser or Heineken?"

My response: "There's a tap underneath, taste it for yourself."

A bear.

(This works best in a Jamaican accent)

I don't like her chances.

Turns out it was just a beer belly.

Now he's got a beer belly.

Then I drank it and now I have a beer belly.

So that's why I grew a beer belly.

*i* to π : your decisions are so *irrational*

1 to *i:* your expectations are too *imaginary*

π to 1: you have an absolute *unit* of a beer belly

3 to -1: you are always so *negative*

*i* to 3: don't you think you're a little *odd*?

1 to 1/2: you are only but a *... read more

and had a beer belly so big i couldn't see my toes. so i prayed to be able to see my toes again.



i can now proudly say i am the record holder for the largest feet in the world

...that i keep them safe and sound under a protective layer of beer belly.

"Mommy? what are you doing?" The girl asks. "Well.. um.. you know your dad's beer belly? I was letting some air out of it so it won't be so big." The little girl laughs. "Awww. Don't bother. The babysitter is just going to blow it right back up again!"

A man wants to lose his beer belly, so he signs up for a free weight loss program he read about online.

On the first day, he hears a knock at his door. He answers it, and sees an extremely attractive woman standing there.

"If you catch me, you get to keep me," says the woman.

So... read more

After her divorce, Jenny moved back to her home town, hoping to start afresh.
A few weeks later, while making a dental appointment, she recognized the name as that of a good looking boy from high school, 20 years ago. But when Jenny walked into the dentist's clinic, she realized it must be some... read more