There once was a pebble and she was very shy

so she wanted to be, a little bolder!

What did the Pebbles say when they got clumped together?

I feel *boulder*!

​

Geology Jokes.

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You are not a monk

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a st...

What did the happy pebble say to the grumpy mountain?

You need an altitude change!

Two guys are walking through the woods one day when they stumble across a big deep hole.

The first guy peers into it and says, "Wow! That looks deep."

The second guy says, "It sure does. Let's throw a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is. We'll be able to tell the depth by how long it is before we hear the noise of the pebbles landing."

So they pick up a few pebbles...

What is worse than a pebble in your shoe?

A grain of sand in the condom.

Two men were walking through the woods when they came across a big deep hole.

Two men were walking through the woods when they came across a big deep hole.

'Wow ... that looks deep,' says one. 'Let's toss a few pebbles in and see how deep it is.'
They threw in a few pebbles and waited, but there was no sound.

'Gee - that is a really deep hole. Let's throw one...

Brothers John and Peter are lost in the woods...

They are both tired and hungry. The older brother Peter was hard working and obedient. The younger one was John, who is lazy and foolish. It was nightfall, and they were about to sleep when they heard a booming voice.

"BOTH OF YOU, GRAB A ROCK."

Earnest Peter did not hesitate and went ...

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.

Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.

"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a ...

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An american, a german and an albanian.

An american, a german and an albanian got caught by the devil. The devil transformed into a shark and said:
"Each one if you will throw something in this lake and ill look for it. If i find it i get your soul, and if I don't you become emortal."
The american goes first and throws a pebble. Ten...

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My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was.

She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was.

She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks an...

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Two pilots are on a routine flight.

One is a Caucasian man with over 22 years of experience as a pilot. His co-pilot is a Iranian-American man who started the job just 2 months ago. This was the first time the two have flown together, so small talk is very little.

The white guy decides to break the ice. "So, you know anything a...

There was a group of troubled teenagers bored in a small town.

There was a group of troubled teenagers who were bored in a small town. They egged their neighbor's house, TPed the one down the road, and just generally caused mischief but they were running out of original ideas to keep it fresh.

One of them decided to go down to the expressway overpass and...

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A guys car breaks down in front of a Monestarey

This is hands down my favorite joke of all time but it's long so hold on to something.


A guys car breaks down, but fortunately it breaks down right in front of a Monestarey. He trudges through the snow to knock on the door and one of the monks answers.
Monk: "Hello my child, how may ...

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman

Paddy Englishman Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were walking in a park together one day when all of a sudden the devil himself appeared before them.
I am going to kill each of you one by one unless you can bring something to me that I cannot melt with my bare hands. You have one hour he shoute...

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With school year nearing to the end elementary teacher asks her pupils

"I want you to bring a pebble for every *bad word* you say during holiday."

Time flies by fast and at the start of the new school year teacher takes kids out to the yard and asks:

"So, how many pebbles did you have to bring?"

Various kids replies with numbers like 5, 3, 12, etc....

Two guys were hiking in the woods when they found an abandoned mine shaft.

Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two ...

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I'm never going grocery shopping again!

I was at the grocery store yesterday picking up some ingredients to make breakfast for the week. I already had a few essentials picked out like milk, eggs, and bacon. Yes, bacon is an essential. I moved to the cereal aisle but got stuck deciding between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Fruity Pebbles, whic...

(Long) A thirsty man got himself lost in the desert...

and was searching for water. After countless hours searching and hoping, he came upon a well with a big opening.
He peered inside... squinted... but couldn't see a thing down there.
He looked around and found a small pebble and tossed it in. He then listened closely for any sign of a splash or...

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Two strangers discussing religion

So, a woman sits beside a sharply dressed man in a flight to Tokyo.

Having a lot of time to kill, the man initiates a conversation with the woman, asking her about her religion and how God created the universe, etc.

"Well, first I’ve got a question for you", said the woman.

"Cow...

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A man is heading to bed when he suddenly hears his kid whining for a bedtime story.

The kid's 14, clearly supposed to have grown out of it, but yet he hasn't. The kid's screaming, demanding, whining, and it's absolute hell. Finally, the dad's had enough.

He rushes to his son's room and sits down on the bed. He starts the story, "Son, I'm going to tell you a story with a mora...

My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. "Well," she said, "I've lost a stone. Can you see a difference?"

I picked up a pebble and tossed it in the ocean. "The beach has lost a stone," I said. "Can you see a difference?"

A man is walking through a forest and sees a huge hole

The whole is really deep. It's huge and dark and seems bottomless, so the man decides to see how deep.

He throws in a pebble and listens, but it doesn't make a sound.

He throws in a big stick; still no sound

He throws in a huge tree stump he prised up out of the ground; nothin...

So this cowboy buys a new horse...

As he's saddling him up to leave the ranch, the previous owner tells him, "There's only one thing different about this here horse. He was raised by a preacher since he was a pony. If you want him to stop, you say Amen. If you want him to go, you say praise the Lord."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" the c...

Holmes and Watson were investigating a murder at an archaeological dig-site

Holmes picks up several of the rocks and pebbles surrounding the murder victim. After a while, Holmes turns to his companion and says "I've cracked the case. The suspect was clearly murdered with a blow to the head by a rock, which then crumbled and scattered into pieces."

"How on Earth can y...

The Flintstones

One day pebbles took a shower with Fred and Wilma. Her curiosity lead her to ask questions

Pebbles: Mama what's that between your legs?

Wilma: oh honey that's mommy's rock cutter.

Pebbles: Dada what's the between your legs?

Fred: oh sweetie that's my rock.

Pebbles:...

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What do you call a Cannibal Serial Killer?

A serial eater........ ...

What Would The Rocks Boyfriend Be Called?

Fruity Pebble..

Three men end up in hell...

Three men end up in hell and meet Satan. Satan tells them that he will let the men go to purgatory for a second chance if they manage to pass his challenge.

The challenge was that they had to throw any random item into the river Styx and Satan would let them go if he couldn't find it in und...

Two men are walking the woods.

They come across a large hole the ground, several meters across and apparently bottomless.

After examining the hole for a moment, they decide to throw something into the hole to see how long it takes for it to hit the bottom. The first man throws in a pebble, and after a long pause hears noth...

Three teenage boys are walking in the woods and they come across an abandoned well.

They walk up to it and peer down into the darkness. The boys start wondering out loud how deep it is and one quickly grabs a pebble to test it out. He drops it into the well and they listen...but there's nothing.

So the second boy grabs a rock, one about the size of a baseball and drops it ...

Jesus decides to give the apostles a bunch of gifts...

Jesus: Each one of you grab a piece of rock.

*everyone each grabbed the biggest rock they can find and rolled it back to Jesus, except for Judas who was so lazy that he just picked up a pebble.

Jesus: I shall now turn those into gold for you to keep. Now go get another piece of rock....

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A Lecture on Life

A professor is giving a lecture on personal lives, and to start he pulls out a jar.

“This jar,” he says, “represents your life.”

He then drops in some fairly large-sized rocks into the jar.

“These rocks represent the basics of your life. You know, food, shelter, sex, stuff like ...

An old one from Isaac Asimov

As is well known, in this thirtieth century of ours, space travel is fearfully dull and time-consuming. In search of diversion, many crew Members defy the quarantine restrictions and pick up pets from the various habitable worlds they explore.

Jim Sloane had a rockette, which he called Teddy....

The Desert Goat Hole

So there's these three guys walking through the Arabian desert, and they've completely run out of water.

They manage to keep walking until they spot a well out in the distance.

They excitedly hurry to the well only to find out that it's too deep, and they can't even see the water at ...

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Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson just found out 2 of his kids are gay...

...I guess you can say they are fruity pebbles.

Retired golf vacation in Hawaii...

A man retires after 35 years at the same job and decides to take his first retirement vacation in Hawaii with his wife. He is really looking forward to two weeks of sightseeing and golf. The day they arrive, he signs up for pro golf lessons at the beautiful Pebble Beach Country Club. After a night o...

Two men are walking through the forrest..

Two men are walking through the forrest and it is extremely dark. After walking for a bit one of the men all of a sudden yells stop! Right in front of them is the largest hole they have ever seen.

The two men look at each other an both decide they have to know how deep this hole is.

...

A man climbed a mountain for the first time...

and he wanted to know how long it would take for an object to fall down a cliff. He threw a pebble. It didn't make a sound. He looked for a bigger object, and threw a fist-sized rock. It too, refused to make a sound. He looked around for a bigger object. The man saw a steel pillar. He threw that off...

Some guys are talking about pets...

They get to talking about how good big dogs are because they can make good guard dogs.

One of the guys says "I preferred my old chihuahua pebbles better. And no other dog made me feel safer! He died killing a rabid full grown doberman for me!"

The other guys are confused and ask how th...

College

A professor tells the class that they will be performing an experiment the next day. When the students get to class, they see the professor with a large glass vase, some large rocks, some small pebbles, and some sand. The students all get seated, and the professor begins the experiment. He fills the...

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