Reef Jokes - 32 Hilarious Reef Jokes

Why did the octopus cross the reef?

To get to the other tide.

Ha.ha.ha. I'm heading out now.

What kind of music is the Great Barrier Reef famous for?

Choral

What did the man say that hated a very specific circular coral reef that had water in its center?

"I don't like this atoll."

I’ve Never Seen A Reef

Never seen one atoll.

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A ship went down on a reef...

There were only three survivors; a 25 year old man, a dog, and a cat.

They were washed up on a deserted tropical island. Food and water were no problem, but after a month the man started to get the urge to have sex. As there were no other people, he was forced to choose between the dog and...

I'm running out of things to watch on TV. I just finished a movie about five families of fish competing for control of the reef...

It was called "The Codfather".

What's the difference between a Coral Reef and Tienenman Square?

One's full of crustaceans and one's full of crushed Asians.

A guy in my class just claimed that a ring-shaped coral reef is also an island.

But it's not an island, atoll.

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Reef knot, Sheepshank, Clove Hitch, Bowline. I don't know how to tie these knots

But my fucking headphones do

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

Great barrier reef

Otherwise known as my ex-wife's water bed

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A cruise ship founders on a reef...

and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island.

After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford.

They build a lean-to and find some ...

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Shai is excited for his trip to Mexico because he is an avid SCUBA diver.

When he goes, he finds a company that can take him to the reefs and links up with a dive leader. While on the boat preparing their tanks, the leader begins talking him about the different types of animals that they will see. Since the both of them will not be able to communicate verbally, the dive l...

What did the fish have to pay to get past the coral reef?

Atoll.

One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison.

I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.

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Two prawns named Christian and Jason are swimming together on a reef

Being near the bottom of the food chain, both are in danger of being eaten and are constantly scared of any larger fish. Christian loves his life despite the odds, but Jason is unhappy. He wishes to no longer be scared. "Wouldn't it be great if we were the top of the food chain?" Jason says, "imagin...

Aquarium decorations on clearance!

Sorry, no reef funds.

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The Will

His nurse, his wife, his daughter, and two sons, are with him.
He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.

When all is ready, he begins to speak:

"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."

"My daughter Sybi...

A questionable article on marine biology goes viral.

"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"

The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.

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A Rabbi, a monk, and a Catholic Priest are on a...

cruise ship having a nice vacation. They're chatting on the lounge deck when suddenly the ship strikes a reef and begins sinking.

Everybody is running around panicking and people are screaming. The Monk exclaims, "Quick, we must save the children!"

The Rabbi yells, "Fuck the children...

What do you call a thousand Australian lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

The Great Barrister Reef.

Once upon a time, Spanish galleon was sent to rescue some farmers and their cows in a settlement...

...they arrived on schedule and picked up the farmers and their cows, which took up half of the cargo hold. As the journey continued, they miked the cows, eventually filling up the remainder of the hold with various dairy products.

Finally, they reached their destination, but before they wer...

In the shark infested waters of the Caribbean, two prawns, one called Justin and the other called Christian are discussing the pressures of being a preyed-upon prawn. “I hate being a prawn,” says Justin. “I wish I were a shark.”

Suddenly, a mysterious cod appears. “Your wish is granted,” he says. Instantly, Justin becomes a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid that his former friend might eat him. As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin, leaving the shrimp-turned-maneater lonely and frustrated. So...

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Three brothers go skydiving.

Somehow, all of their parachutes fail, and they die. At their funeral, their wives are discussing what will be done with each man's ashes.

The youngest brother's wife says "Oh, he loved to hike, so I'm going to scatter his ashes on his favorite forest trail."

The middle brother's wife ...

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Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes...

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes and after mourning for some time, they begin to talk about what they plan to do with their lover's ashes.

The first widow says, "John was very outdoorsman, enjoyed hiking, rock climbing and nature, so I'm going to sprea...

The U.S. congress has passed a massive budget to salvage a sunken vessel last year, today they announced their result

The U.S. navy believes it may have discovered the wreckage of the nation’s military submarine, Squalus, which disappeared a century ago off the coast of Isles of Shoals.

A navy mine hunter reportedly made a “contact of interest” while conducting an underwater search for Squalus. The contact w...

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Two prawns were simmimg round the sea...

Two prawns were swimming round in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I woul...

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Lizard is walking through the forest...

and he comes up to a large tree along the path. He looks up in the tree and sees Koala sitting on a branch smoking a joint.

"Heyoo Koala, do you mind if I climb up and try some?" Lizard asks.

"Not at all Lizard, my dude, come on up!" Koala wheezed while exhaling a ripe puff.

Liz...

An Olympic swimmer...

...is on a cruise ship, when it hits a reef and sinks. Bobbing in the waves, he spies an island in the distance, makes for it, and barely gets ashore. All he finds on the isle are fruit trees, a female sheep and a big dog. The fruit trees provide sustenance, but he starts to feel lonely. The sheep h...

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3 friends on a cruise

*I didn't come up with this joke, I just think it's funny*

John, George, and Jimmy are three old friends from college. They decide to enjoy a cruise because they haven't seen each other in a long time.

Each friend and their significant other board the cruise liner bound for th...

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A ship goes down at sea

Two survivors wash up on the shore of an island--a man and a Chihuahua.
The only other inhabitants of the island are harmless native sheep that roam and feed aimlessly on the lush grass. Conditions are primitive, but the man and Chihuahua coexist peacefully for several years.
The man event...

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A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island...

...and spends many months alone. Just as he's reaching the point that he's starting to go crazy, he spots a ship in the distance and, all excited, lights a fire on the beach that he'd prepared for just such an eventuality.

He's overjoyed when he sees the ship change course and start heading f...

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