The 40+ Best Wing Jokes

A football quarterback, soccer wing forward, baseball designated hitter, volleyball setter, hockey winger and cricket batsman walk into a bar...

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**Rule 10 -** Overly ***offensive*** content

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone!

Did you hear about the winged insect from America that evolved to be compatible with computers?

It was a US Bee

Why do late night comedians skew left wing?

Because the right wing viewers have to work in the morning.

A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico.

Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me!"

"I understood every word," says the pa...

What’s Icarus’ least favorite food?

hot wings

Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?

LEFT WING DESTROYED

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kung Fu student asks his teacher

"Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated.

And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dollar for a dirty joke

I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke." Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?"

Me: "John"

Homeless man: "So Johnny, there is blac...

Hooters

Two men grow up together as friends. After college, one moves to Ohio, and the other moves to Colorado. They agree to meet every 10 years in Florida to play some golf and catch up with each other.

At age 35 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.

One asks, "...

What do you call someone who is too afraid of calling themselves left or right wing?

A chicken wing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young cock.

As soon as he gets home it fucks all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed . At lunch the cock once again screws the hens.
The next day, to the farmers astonishment, the cock fucks the geese and ducks as well. Sadly later during the day he finds the cock lying half- dead on the ground...

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I found a butterfly without wings...

So I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned.

I was working a job on a boat transporting people and cars when a magical godmother with gossamer wings surprised me with a really good party for me with rides. Then I found out I still had to pay admission. It was only a couple bucks, though.

A Very Fair Fairy Ferry Faire Fare.

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

1 dollar for dirty joke

I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.” Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name?

Me: “asstasticbum”

Homeless man: “So asstasticbum, the...

What do you call an X-Wing pilot who makes too many loop-de-loops?

Puke Skywalker

What do you call a franciscan monk with wings?

An air friar.

What has two wings but doesn't fly...

Has two eyes but doesn't see, has two legs but doesn't walk?

A dead bird.

The birthing wing at the hospital

should really be called the emerge-ncy room

What do you call a fly with no wings?

Still a fly. The irony is unfortunate but the name doesn’t change.

Winged horses are illegal in most US states.

But in Alabama, it's perfectly fine to peg-a-sis.

I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I?

A liar.

I was considering telling a vaccine joke to a right wing coworker of mine

but didn't because he probably wouldn't get it anyways.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There’s a fly flying over the water with a broken wing about to drop....

Underneath the water is a fish. The fish says “when that fly drops I’ll come up and eat him.”

Nearby a fisherman is in his boat and says “when that fly drops and the fish comes up I’ll catch that fish.”

A rat in the fisherman’s boat says “if that fly drops and the fish comes up, then t...

What do you call a phoenix with a broken wing?

Joaquin Phoenix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50.

A Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, "I wonder why he is so cheap?" "Because I am defective," came the reply. "I've got no legs." A little surprised the man asked, "Well how do you stay on your perch?" The parrot draws him closer and whi...

A couple friends and I are opening a chicken wings restaurant called the "Right Wing Cafe."

We don't actually sell any wings, we just complain about other wing places.

Jim walked into a bar....

Jim, walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies, by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings and eve...

I know a man who says he designed a labyrinth, got imprisoned in it, and then escaped using wings made of wax.

But I wonder whether he really Daedalus things he claims to have done.

A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says

"You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"

I like my saviors like I like my chicken wings

Tender and mild

A friend of mine bought an old plane, took the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant.

I don’t think it will take off.

What's got four wheels, no wings, and flies?

A rubbish truck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it! Screaming.

she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment ...

A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.

"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."

What’s the difference between a left-wing extremist, and a right-wing extremist?

One wants to get rid of your opinion because it infringes on their rights, the other wants to get rid of your rights because it infringes on their opinion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got called into human resources today because of a couple of incidents and was asked if I knew the difference between left and right wing. Outraged, I told them to fuck off as my politics was my business! They still fired me though...

...turns out aircraft are really expensive to fix.

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