What was Icarus’ least favorite food?

Hot wings.

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I saw a butterfly with no wings today, I poured some Red Bull on it and BAM!

It drowned...

9 Blondes and 1 Brunette are holding onto the wing of a weighed down rapidly descending aircraft.

They all realize one must let go to save the rest of them.

The plane is about 1000 meters away from crashing, when the brunette starts to say that she will heroicly let go of the wing of the plane to save the 9 others.

She gets a few a tears and cries of “Nooo” but as she finishes, a...

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What position would Hitler play in Hockey?

Reich Wing

What has wings, but cannot fly? What can run, but has no legs?

The nose.

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese man's telephone

Ordered a bucket of wings and an omelette today. Wanted to see which came first.

The chicken or the egg

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese man imitating a phone ringing and answering the call.

"Wing, wing, arrow?"

There are only two phone numbers in China the wings and the wongs

So you might wing the wong number

Teacher: Give me an example of a bird that has wings but can not fly...

Student: A dead bird.

TIL in 1954 the Detroit Red Wings held an exhibition match against inmates at Marquette prison.

The game had its pros and cons.

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A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...

What’s the difference between you and a guy who dresses up in a toga & wings and shoots arrows at couples on Valentine’s Day

One’s a Cupid Stunt...

Why do late night comedians skew left wing?

Because the right wing viewers have to work in the morning.

The university president was inconsolable when the wing housing social sciences and languages burned down.

"Oh, the Humanities!" he cried.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like to masterbate like I like my chicken wings

With a dry rub

what bee no wing

walk

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How do you know that chicken wings aren’t virgins?

Because they are always bone-in

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

Which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner?

It doesn’t matter because Nobody will judge them anyway!

I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I?

A liar.

"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" asked the Redditor. "Ravens have seventeen wing feathers with the end feather called a pinion, in contrast to crows having only sixteen wing feathers." answered the one known as Dan.

He continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."

I once tried to pay for my food at Hooters with an energy drink...

Apparently Red Bull doesn’t give you wings.

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I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.”

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name?”

Me: “John”

Homeless man: “So Johnny, there is black rooster alright?

How many legs does that chicken have.”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Right, n...

Star Wars X-Wing pilot

"my navigation and targeting drone keeps making bad puns about the old west.. I guess I shouldn't have gone with an RD-R2"

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I got called into human resources today because of a couple of incidents and was asked if I knew the difference between left and right wing. Outraged, I told them to fuck off as my politics was my business! They still fired me though...

...turns out aircraft are really expensive to fix.

What haw two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone.

(I'm Chinese and I give this joke the Chinese stamp of approval)

What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk?

A dead bird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers…

"My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

...

I just saw a man survive getting hit by a plane wing

Massive props to him.

Did you hear about the new wing at Sea World for all critically injured dolphins?

It's basically a hospital for all intensive porpoises

What is grey, has wings and is a terrible swimmer?

A castle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There’s a fly flying over the water with a broken wing about to drop....

Underneath the water is a fish. The fish says “when that fly drops I’ll come up and eat him.”

Nearby a fisherman is in his boat and says “when that fly drops and the fish comes up I’ll catch that fish.”

A rat in the fisherman’s boat says “if that fly drops and the fish comes up, then t...

China's Communist Party is starting a militia wing

They're training their members to be good Marxmen

What’s a bumblebee’s favorite wing sauce?

Pollenesian

A man came up to me today and said "I've invented an aeroplane without wings"

I thought, that'll never take off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The administrator of a hospital is getting a tour of the new wing.

They walk into a room and see a man masturbating furiously.

"What's the meaning of this!?" thunders the administrator.

The head nurse explains "This man has a serious prostate condition, sir. it is very important that he ejaculates 6 times a day."

"Oh - so sorry, excuse us!" sa...

Right wing terrorism and left wing terrorism are similar

But left wing terrorism is worse. Because right wing terrorism burns foreigners, and left wing terrorism burns cars, and it could have been my car.

I fed my chickens a chicken wing...

I guess you could say they enjoyed themselves. *ba dum tss*

What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?

It gets wet.

"We're going to be together for the rest of our lives!" smiled my wife as we flew on our dream vacation to Hawaii...

"You seem pretty sure of yourself." I replied.

"I am!" she said, gazing out the window. "The left wing's fallen off and the engine's on fire."

What do you call a Pelican with a broken wing?

A pelicant.

I like my Holy Infants the way I like my chicken wings..,

Tender and mild.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. But what happens when a Foghorn blows?

I say-I say, you get cum in your mouth

A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says

"You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"

Deputy Herbert was patrolling in his car down a road of a small town blanketed in snow one night.

Although it wasn't currently snowing, the temperature was well below freezing. No one would come out unless it was for emergencies. As the policeman rounded a corner, his headlights briefly passed over a vacant lot. Herbert quickly noticed something odd, and reversed his car so his headlights pointe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everytime someone cuts me off in traffic, an angel gets its wings

Because I'm going to kill a motherfucker.

[Spoiler]

A flap on the wing of an aircraft or glider that can be projected in order to create drag and so reduce speed.

An eagle checks in at the airline ticket counter with a dead rabbit under one wing. The agent asks, "do you want to check the rabbit?"

"No, this is carrion."

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a...

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