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Wing Jokes

What’s Icarus’ least favorite food?

hot wings

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk!

A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico.

Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.

The birthing wing at the hospital

should really be called the emerge-ncy room

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone!

A football quarterback, soccer wing forward, baseball designated hitter, volleyball setter, hockey winger and cricket batsman walk into a bar...

# POST REMOVED

**Rule 10 -** Overly ***offensive*** content

A plane is flying over the Mediterranean

A pilots voice comes on
And says a terrible thing has happened.

We’ve lost both engines and we’re gonna have to land in the Mediterranean.

The plane will stay afloat for a very short time.

And we’ll be able to open the door just long enough that everyone can get out.
<...

Left wing or Right wing, it doesn't really matter.

If either is harmed the plane will crash.

What do you call a franciscan monk with wings?

An air friar.

Did you hear about the winged insect from America that evolved to be compatible with computers?

It was a US Bee

Jim walked into a bar....

Jim, walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies, by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings and eve...

Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?

LEFT WING DESTROYED

What’s the difference between a left-wing extremist, and a right-wing extremist?

One wants to get rid of your opinion because it infringes on their rights, the other wants to get rid of your rights because it infringes on their opinion.

What has two wings but doesn't fly...

Has two eyes but doesn't see, has two legs but doesn't walk?

A dead bird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found a butterfly without wings...

So I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned.

What’s the difference between the political left wing and right wing?

It’s the big plane called Air Force One in the middle.

What do you call a phoenix with a broken wing?

Joaquin Phoenix.

Why do late night comedians skew left wing?

Because the right wing viewers have to work in the morning.

Winged horses are illegal in most US states.

But in Alabama, it's perfectly fine to peg-a-sis.

What do you call someone who is too afraid of calling themselves left or right wing?

A chicken wing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young cock.

As soon as he gets home it fucks all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed . At lunch the cock once again screws the hens.
The next day, to the farmers astonishment, the cock fucks the geese and ducks as well. Sadly later during the day he finds the cock lying half- dead on the ground...

My dad is so right wing...

he won't even have leftovers!

-I'll let myself out.

What do you call an X-Wing pilot who makes too many loop-de-loops?

Puke Skywalker

Who doesn't like hot wings?

Icarus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kung Fu student asks his teacher

"Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated.

And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling m...

What's got four wheels, no wings, and flies?

A rubbish truck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting on a flight from NYC to London

He feels a little cold, so he asks the cabin attendant for a blanket. The cabin crew completely ignores him. On the seat next to him is no other than a parrot. The parrot screams "get me a scotch on the rocks you stupid cunt". Not a moment passes and the parrot gets a nice glass of whiskey. The man ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a homeless man with a sign that read “$1 for a dirty joke”

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Look there, you can see a Rooster right? How many legs does it have?"

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Correct, now how many wings does this Rooster have?”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Right...

what bee no wing

walk

I like my saviors like I like my chicken wings

Tender and mild

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gold one

Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, "I wonder why he is so cheap?" "Because I am defective," came the reply. "I've got no legs." A little surprised the man asked, "Well how do you stay on your perch?" The parrot draws him closer and whisp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WWII Army Major walks into the medical wing.

He approaches the first bunk

Major: Why are you here Soldier?

Soldier: Syphilis Sir!

Major: How are they treating it Soldier?

Soldier: 5 minutes a day with a wire brush Sir!

Major: What is your ambition Soldier?

Soldier: To get back to the front lines Sir!<...

What do you call a fly with no wings?

Still a fly. The irony is unfortunate but the name doesn’t change.

I was considering telling a vaccine joke to a right wing coworker of mine

but didn't because he probably wouldn't get it anyways.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a restaurant that's owned by a friend of his.

He says to his friend, "How's it going? How's the restaurant business?"

His friend says, "It's going pretty good but I got a chef that won't stop jerking off."

He tells him, "Just fire him."

"I can't. He's an amazing cook. You should try his wings. They are amazing."

"The...

Apparently Darth Vader has a right-wing billionaire cousin

His name is Tax E. Vader

Star Wars X-Wing pilot

"my navigation and targeting drone keeps making bad puns about the old west.. I guess I shouldn't have gone with an RD-R2"

Why was the cannibal in the coma patient wing?

Hes a vegetarian

A bird broke his younger brother’s wing

He was grounded

A couple friends and I are opening a chicken wings restaurant called the "Right Wing Cafe."

We don't actually sell any wings, we just complain about other wing places.

Which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner?

It doesn’t matter because Nobody will judge them anyway!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There’s a fly flying over the water with a broken wing about to drop....

Underneath the water is a fish. The fish says “when that fly drops I’ll come up and eat him.”

Nearby a fisherman is in his boat and says “when that fly drops and the fish comes up I’ll catch that fish.”

A rat in the fisherman’s boat says “if that fly drops and the fish comes up, then t...

Chicken walking down the road with a book under her wing

Walks past a frog saying: “Book, book, book, book, book”

Frog responds: “Reddit”

What do you call a left wing hater of EA Sports?

Anti-FIFA

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says

"You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"

A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.

"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."

Hooters

Two men grow up together as friends. After college, one moves to Ohio, and the other moves to Colorado. They agree to meet every 10 years in Florida to play some golf and catch up with each other.


At age 35 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.


One asks, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The administrator of a hospital is getting a tour of the new wing.

They walk into a room and see a man masturbating furiously.

"What's the meaning of this!?" thunders the administrator.

The head nurse explains "This man has a serious prostate condition, sir. it is very important that he ejaculates 6 times a day."

"Oh - so sorry, excuse us!" sa...

What was Napoleon’s favourite piece of chicken?

The wing.

He liked to pick the bone apart.

What’s a bumblebee’s favorite wing sauce?

Pollenesian

I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I?

A liar.

A friend of mine bought an old plane, took the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant.

I don’t think it will take off.

China's Communist Party is starting a militia wing

They're training their members to be good Marxmen

What haw two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone.

(I'm Chinese and I give this joke the Chinese stamp of approval)

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese man imitating a phone ringing and answering the call.

"Wing, wing, arrow?"

"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" asked the Redditor. "Ravens have seventeen wing feathers with the end feather called a pinion, in contrast to crows having only sixteen wing feathers." answered the one known as Dan.

He continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."

Did you hear that the Great Flying Phoenix decided to get his wings clipped?

Now he just goes by Joaquin Phoenix.

I’m not fat

I’m doing this on purpose, I plan to lose all this weight and then with the saggy skin I’ll be able to have my own wing suit, just like a flying squirrel.

I just saw a man survive getting hit by a plane wing

Massive props to him.

Hey Dad, i think the wing mirror of the car is broken.

Dad: How did that happen?
Me: The car lays on it.

How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Put Wings On

I cant wait until they can put wings on humans.

When they can put wings on humans, they can put wings on pigs, and when they can put wings on pigs, lots of pretty girls from college owe me sex.

The university president was inconsolable when the wing housing social sciences and languages burned down.

"Oh, the Humanities!" he cried.

I know a man who says he designed a labyrinth, got imprisoned in it, and then escaped using wings made of wax.

But I wonder whether he really Daedalus things he claims to have done.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know that chicken wings aren’t virgins?

Because they are always bone-in

A woman dies and goes to the afterlife. They tell her:

\- You were a righteous woman in your life. You may go to Heaven, here is the queue.

She joins the queue, starts waiting... suddenly, she hears a horrible scream.

\- What was that? - she asks a nearby angel.

\- Well, a new soul is being converted into an angel, so they drill ho...

The coolest thing about my new Porsche is that it lets me know when the rear wing is raised.

Spoiler alert.

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