Fender Jokes - 32 Hilarious Fender Jokes

A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.

The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"

The woman replies, "nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."

On the first test drive of my guitar-shaped car, I had a crash.

A real Fender bender.

Guitar maker Fender has announced a new line of woodwind instruments

Coming soon, the Saxofender.

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(NSFW) A horse and a baby chicken were playing in the barnyard...

...when the horse fell into some quicksand. The baby chicken, wanting to help his friend, goes to find the farmer for assistance but he’s nowhere to be found. The baby chicken finds the farmer’s Aston Martin in the garage, however, so he backs it up to the quicksand. He then ties some rope around th...

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Woody Allen's Moose hunting joke

I shot a moose once. I was hunting upstate New York, and I shot a moose. And I strapped him onto the fender of my car. And I'm driving home along the West Side Highway, but what I didn't realize was that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp knocking him unconscious. And ...

What do you call a fender bender that involves two airplanes?

A winger dinger.

What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender?

Eucalyptus.

The Milky Way experienced a cosmic fender-bender with a dwarf galaxy 500 million years ago.

It was the ultimate slow-down of ultimate density.

My grandfather told me this In German so it might already be posted somewhere here, oh and it's translated

Two guys are riding bicycles down the street.

One of the bikes fenders was loose and was making a loud noise.

So the first guy said to the second guy
"Hey your fender is too loud"

The second guy says "what?"

The first guy speaks louder
"your fender is too loud" <...

A truck driver hated seeing door-to-door religious zealots walking down the road

He hated how they would go from house to house, bothering people and questioning their faith. So whenever he would see some walking down the road, he would slow down, ease over, and bump them with his fender to make them fall down into the mud on the side of the road. He grew to enjoy the satisfac...

A guy walks up to the shopkeeper and asks for a Fender Strat, an Orange Amp and a Mooger Fooger pedal...

...the shop keeper says: "Are you a drummer?" and the guy responds: "Yeah how can you tell?"

The shop keeper responds: "This is a fish and chip shop mate."

A man went into a music shop

A man went into a music shop looking for a new instrument.

The owner introduced him to a lot of different instruments: flutes, trumpets, drums and guitars but none of them caught the man's interest.

The man nearly gives up when he spots a saxophone hanging in the corner. He tries it an...

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[NSFW] A man buys a new motorcycle on the day he is to visit his girlfriend’s family for the first time.

A man buys a new motorcycle on the day he is to visit his girlfriend’s family for the first time.

After handing his the keys, the sales man hands him a jar of Vaseline and says “if you want to keep the fender looking shiny you will want to rub some Vaseline on the fenders before it rains. It’...

Lost on the back roads in Vermont

Lost on back roads in Vermont, a tourist collided with a local man at an intersection. He and the local got out to examine their bent fenders.

"Well, don't look like much," observed the local. "Whyn't we just take a little pull to steady our nerves." He grabbed a jug from his battered pickup,...

A man buys a Stratocaster.

The following year he buys a telecaster.

The next year he buys a broadcaster...

I guess you could call him a repeat a Fender.

A woman is arrested for killing her guitar player husband

She is accused of bashing her husband's head in with his guitars because he never paid any attention to her.

In her first court appearance, the judge looks at the woman and asks: “First offender?"

The woman replies: “No. First it was a Gretsch, followed by a Gibson, and then a Fender."

I feel his pain.

A guy posted on here complaining about calling Florists and them not knowing anything about carpet and tile. Let me tell you that I contacted 6 Dentists and not one of them could repair the damaged fender on my car.

My favorite “And that’s when the fight started” joke!

A drunk man comes home to his wife and stands swayingly before her. She sees that his pants are ripped, his legs are bloody and he has bruises on his knuckles. Odd though, everything above his waist seems perfectly fine.

Wife: Oh no… What’s happened to you this time?

Husband: It was no...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

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What's the difference between Prince's guitar and Donald Trump?

One's a sexy Fender.

There was a car accident involving a funeral procession, yesterday. One person dead.

Luckily it was a fender-bender and no one was hurt.

What do you call a guitar that has completely changed parts?

Trans-Fender.

A man comes home after work, limping.

His wife looks at him, concerned. "What happened to your leg?"
"Oh, I got into a fender bender."
"What? So you got hurt in the crash?"
"Not exactly. You see, when the driver of the other car got out, it turns out he was a dwarf. He yelled,
'I AM NOT HAPPY.''
"But what does ...

For you guitarists out there...

After going through a brutal divorce, a woman decides to get revenge. She goes to get ex's house, and proceeds to destroy each and every one of his guitars. When she gets to court, the judge asks her;

"First offender?"

She replies; "No. First a Gibson, then a Fender."

Bob was a great guitarist

Until the day he stepped in a puddle while playing his Fender Strat, that was the moment he became a great conductor.

Priest and a rabbi in a car accident

A priest and a rabbi have a fender-bender in the middle of an intersection. They get out to survey the damage, and the rabbi turns to the priest and says, "You know, this is a pretty trivial event, all things considered. I've got some Manischewitz in the car -- how about you and I drink to the frien...

Car Accident

So I got into a car accident the other day. It was nothing major, just a small fender bender as I rear-ended the car ahead of me. We both pull over and I get my insurance information ready when I see the other driver step out of his car - he was a dwarf! I get out of my car and get ready to hand him...

Only in Australia

A farmhand in Australia was out checking farm fences in his Land Cruiser when he hit something. He radioed the farm for advice.

"There's a pig stuck in the bullbar and is still alive but he's kicking and squealing so much I can't get him free," he said.

"Okay," said the boss. "In the...

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Dusty Hill Blinked his eye open.

His head felt fuzzy. His eyes sticky. Dusty Hill Blinked his eyes open. "Wake up Dusty" said a familiar voice. His eyes focused, his brain whirled. It couldn't be who it seemed to be. Jimi mother fucking hendrix?

.

"Wake up Dusty. It's showtime!" Said the coolest voice ev...

There's a car accident in a neighborhood

A guy in an old, beat up station wagon rear ends another guy in a brand new Porsche. Both drivers get out of their cars to inspect the damage and they see that the back of the Porsche is totaled but station wagon's front fender doesn't have a scratch on it.

The owner of the Porsche is livid w...

The majestic lion

Lions, as everyone knows, are the kings of the animal kingdom. Apex predators of the Serengiti, there are few who can stand steady in the face of their mighty roar.

Unfortunately for lions, however, they are rather limited in their mobility. When it comes to such places as ice, water, and air...

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When I was 10

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumb...

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